Tweets the Night Before Christmas in July

Home
Connect
Discover
Compose new Tweet
Settings and help
Search

Leon Tchaikovsky
@SexiestLyingWit
I am an assortment of keywords such as vampires, news, sports, weather, dogs, cats, local news, movies, TV, CIA, AFL-CIO, WGA, no soap radio, Groucho Marx, and
Earth, outside Los Angeles · http://soundsfunny.blogspot.com
Edit your profile
1,901 TWEETS
33 FOLLOWING
26 FOLLOWERS
Tweets
Following
Followers
Favorites
Lists
Similar to you

Tracy Peterson ‏ @Mrsmagik
Follow
© 2012 TwitterAboutHelpTermsPrivacyBlogStatusAppsResourcesJobsAdvertisersBusinessesMediaDevelopers
Tweets
37m Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Happy Cousins Day. Run out and marry one today.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
9h Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
All sheet cover ice in Greenland melted in a matter of days. Greenland finally may really be greenland.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
25 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
My "Our Maine Guy" is now available on http://amazon.com . Please do not order all at once and shut down their website.
 View media
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
24 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
To think that on this entire planet that only about 900,000 people may walk around and claim they beat me in sales.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
24 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Wow, I cracked the top 900,000 in sales. Are there any goals left in my life?
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
24 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Why is the only response to my dating ad from someone named "Kate Gosselin" and why does she want me to sign a waiver first?
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
24 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes Have you seen what they do to donuts before they are sent to market? You would never eat another donut.
 View conversation
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
24 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Major League Baseball has decided to change past records. Turns out the Cubs won 12 World Series.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
24 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
My "Trials of a 58 Year Old Virgin" is now available on http://amaon.com . Get a copy now. When they're gone, they'll print more..
 View media
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
23 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Penn State is required to digitally remove Joe Paterno from all photographs he's in.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
23 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Dear press: Please refer to cases with the victims' names. Do not give accuseds publicity as that is why some commit their crimes.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
23 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Wow, "ROTFL With Bob" needs more copies. They should be ready soon. Order copies now before they're gone for good. They make great confetti.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
22 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes Never underestimate the influence of the pickle lobby.
 View conversation
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
22 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
"The Gospel According to the Fix" is the book that best explains modern politics. Shock your parents: Follow this gospel and start a cult.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
22 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
There should be a museum where they show all the torn down statues of discredited people such as Paterno, Lenin, Stalin, etc.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
22 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: #SignsYouWereDrunk should have been when you thought inanimate objects were #20PeopleThinkArePretty
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
22 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@geneweingarten I always thought the correct phrase is "you is an idiot".
 View conversation
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
22 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
"Young Republicans"at Fringe Show is laugh out loud funny, actors are all excellent, and I would buy the music CD if only it were a musical.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
19 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
I dont' mind that Bobby Jindal took part in an exorcism. I mind that it didn't work.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
19 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
My "The Last Soldier to Die" is now available on Amazon. I expect each of my now 29 and growing followers to buy a copy.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
19 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Spoiler alert to that artsy film you're going to see: Don't worry about figuring it out, only one person understand what it all means.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
18 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Spoiler alert to that horror film you are going to see: It is not dead when you think it is dead.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
18 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Spoiler alert to the romantic movie you're going to see: They get back together in the end.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
18 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
My "ROTFL With Bob" is now available on Amazon. I expect each of my 28 followers to purchase a copy.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
17 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: #YouDontKnowStruggle until you've been to the #MelbourneAirport with #JohnSununu
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
17 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Remember back when Republicans thought Sarah Palin was more qualified than Romney, Pawlenty, Portman, Rice, etc.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
17 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: #MyLastWordsBeforeIDie will be I wish #RushLimbaugh were in #ToyStory4
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
17 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: #ObamaComicBookVillains would include the #KissCam
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
17 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
So, what do followers think of Vincent Gray's chances for reelection?
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
17 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: #MyLastWordsBeforeIDie will be I wish I spent more time listening to #Bernake
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
17 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
The Swift Boat group insists Romney never served in Bain.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
17 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
The suspense over whether Romney will choose Portman or Pawlenty is just killing me.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
17 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@seanonolennon As you know, but others don't, fracking could ruin the drinking water of NYC, DE, Philly, your mother, and ruin the Phillies.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
16 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Twitter now says my most "similar to" is the Griffin Ranch. When you are most like a piece of land, maybe it is time to hang it up.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
16 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@LadyGrew Look at what I do in Twitter, and then don't do that. You'll be fine.
 View conversation
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
16 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Don't you just hate it when those Canadians enter our country, speak Canadian, and don't speak English? #KathlynEhl
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
16 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Anthony Weiner is considering a political comeback, but he needs to avoid too much exposure.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
16 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@TheFix I predict Romney picks himself for VP, saying he is capable of doing both jobs, announcing it in a secret letter read after the RNC.
 View conversation
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
16 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: #WorstFiftyShadesAudioNarrator would be someone singing it as #philosophysongs
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
16 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: #Pee-wee Herman would be the #WorstFiftyShadesAudioBookNarrator
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
16 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Feeling Jung Every Day #philosophysongs
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
16 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
X Marx the Spot #philosophysongs
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
16 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Spoiler alert to that action movie you're going to see: The bad guys lose in the end,
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
15 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
I learned to never give up. Reach for your goals, no matter what the obstacles, except for the 140 character limitation,
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
15 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Happy 100th birthday to Woody Guthrie. I didn't even know he was still alive.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
13 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
To all my friends, is anyone able to remember what year it was when I left Bain Capital? I really can't recall. You know how that is.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
13 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@celebritology Actually, Han Solo is negative several hundred years old.
 View conversation
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
13 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
All in a college need to be treated the same. The football culture of favoritism needs to stop. Humor magazines should be the only exception
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
13 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
I like the name Brook'Lyn for a girl. Although her brother Staten Island's name is not as good.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
13 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: #RejectedScoutBadges includes one for #Rise&Grind
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
13 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@TheFix Of course, I really mean to congratulate you and your family on the arrival of the baby. I wish all the best to your entire family.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
13 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@TheFix Congratulations on the arrival of your wonderful bundle of joy. May you have happiness and love from your next arrival, your book.
 View conversation
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
13 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending" #RejectedScoutBadges includes one for #SeekingAFriendForTheEndOfTheWorld
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
13 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
The probably with the Penn State Nittany Lions were their Nittany Loins.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
12 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: #RomneySurpriseVPGuesses would have to include #BillRussell
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
12 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@ReliableSource And thus the Oprah is dating Krist Novoselic rumors begin...
 View conversation
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
12 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes The real error in Romney's resume was he substituted his photograph for one of Nicolas Cage.
 View conversation
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
12 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
I want to legalize pot. Not that I'd smoke it. I just want my noisy neighbors to smoke it and mellow out.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
12 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending" #Sandusky was #RaisingAnOlympian in all the wrong ways.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
12 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
We live in a world where Mike Daisey, Rush Limbaugh, etc. pass fiction as fact while Stephen Colbert passes fact as fiction.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
12 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@geneweingarten Mayor Gray may consider allowing the Nationals to change their name to the Washington Vincent Grays.
 View conversation
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
12 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Wow, who knew Anthony Michael Hall would grow up and become Ed Helm?
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
12 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@geneweingarten I wonder if the Ecatepec population includes the illegal United States immigrants living there.
 View conversation
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
11 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Love the new Tom Cruise "Mission Impossible: See, I Can Keep My Divorce Private".
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
11 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: #ThingsRomneyShouldSayToTheNAACP are that #LifeIsGood with #RobertBlake around.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
11 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Harrisburg and Scranton are economically brain dead while the debates can't get past whether or not to pull the plugs.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
11 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
If Amazon achieves same day delivery, it directly competes with retail shopping. Amazon v. Walmart could be Godzilla v. King Kong,
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
11 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes Does this mean Rep. William Gray has finally written a tell all book about politics?
 View conversation
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
11 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
How about that National League victory? See I tweeted when I went from the future and told you they would win. (They did win, right?)
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
11 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@darlingsub Hope life is going well. Last we spoke you were about to become a CPA. Hollywood should have auditor action films.. Best 2 U.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
11 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Major breaking news: Sofia Vergara may or may not be engaged. You may resume your regular Twitter activity.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
10 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@MonicaHesse I can't help here. I failed as a door to door Wikipedia salesman.
 View conversation
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
10 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@geneweingarten But how would one then distinguish the United States of America from the United States of Asia?
 View conversation
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
10 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
I always follow a simple rule: Never put anything in writing.......Oh, drat.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
10 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@MittRomney Are you saying then that there is something wrong with the height of Pennsylvania trees?
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
10 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@SarahPaley I will make you happy and cancel appointments whenever you wish.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
10 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Joked about Romney being behind and today he is tied with Obama 47% to 47%. Phillies now hope I joke about their being behind.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
10 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Learning that women are 62% of people on Twitter is a bit emasculating for a guy with over 1,800 tweets.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
9 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
I have found that sending photos of Tom Cruise in place of my resume is not as effective in finding work.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
9 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
I find sending photos of Nicolas Cage in place of my resume to be much more effective in finding work,
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
9 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
How about that Romney...no, seriously, I can't do it. Does he really have much of a chance?
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
9 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
How about that Obama victory? Oops, returned from the future and posted this too soon.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
9 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Someone remind me to delete the incorrect of the previous two tweets tomorrow after the game.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
9 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
How about that National League victory? Oops, returned from the future and posted this too soon.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
9 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
How about that American League victory? Oops, returned from the future and posted this too soon.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
9 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: #PhilipSeymourHoffman is one of my #10FavoriteRappers
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
9 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: #GoToBat with a #HouseOfLords #StripTease
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
9 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Get your mind out of the gutter. My uncle being Higgs Boson was not a penis joke.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
9 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
My uncle thinks he is Higgs Boson's gift to women.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
9 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Twitter now says my "similar to" is @Confucious, but I say not.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
9 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Twitter now says my "similar to" is @JesusC but I think it got its wires crossed.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
9 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
For months, Twitter insists @Mrsmagik is my "similar to". Is this my long lost twin sister I never knew I had?
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
9 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@TomCruise Now is the appropriate time to jump on a couch.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
9 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@Denise Rich You're lucky, the United States renounces me being a citizen.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
9 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@geneweingarten Most stolen bases allowed by a catcher in one game: 13 against Yankees catcher Branch Rickey, later Dodgers General Manager.
 View conversation
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
9 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Barney Frank is in first Congressional same sex marriage since George and Barbara Bush married.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
8 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Remembering Paul Guilhard because he deserves being remembered. Why no one solved his murder is a tragedy in itself.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
8 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Ernest Borgnine, a true vibrant talented spirit throughout life. His works continue to entertain and the world is much better off for them.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
7 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@TheFix You are asking this of people who can barely find less than 140 characters without getting winded?
 View conversation
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
Tweet textImage will appear as a link
  Add location  140  Tweet

Tweeting Till We Get it Right

Home
Connect
Discover



Leon Tchaikovsky
@SexiestLyingWit
I am an assortment of keywords such as vampires, news, sports, weather, dogs, cats, local news, movies, TV, CIA, AFL-CIO, WGA, no soap radio, Groucho Marx, and
Earth, outside Los Angeles · http://soundsfunny.blogspot.com
Edit your profile
1,808 TWEETS
31 FOLLOWING
27 FOLLOWERS
Tweets
Following
Followers
Favorites
Lists
Similar to you

Tracy Peterson ‏ @Mrsmagik
Follow
© 2012 TwitterAboutHelpTermsPrivacyBlogStatusAppsResourcesJobsAdvertisersBusinessesMediaDevelopers
Tweets
6m Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@TomCruise Now is the appropriate time to jump on a couch.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
8m Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@Denise Rich You're lucky, the United States renounces me being a citizen.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
3h Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@geneweingarten Most stolen bases allowed by a catcher in one game: 13 against Yankees catcher Branch Rickey, later Dodgers General Manager.
 View conversation
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
6h Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Barney Frank is in first Congressional same sex marriage since George and Barbara Bush married.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
17h Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Remembering Paul Guilhard because he deserves being remembered. Why no one solved his murder is a tragedy in itself.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
21h Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Ernest Borgnine, a true vibrant talented spirit throughout life. His works continue to entertain and the world is much better off for them.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
7 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@TheFix You are asking this of people who can barely find less than 140 characters without getting winded?
 View conversation
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
7 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@pariskennedy @SallyMullins1 And I never knew bullets could engage in intercourse.
 View conversation
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
7 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Re: Thad McCotter: One thinks TV network programmers would want a TV series about a member of Congress and flatulence, or is that redundant?
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
6 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: ‪#UnansweredHipHopQuestions‬ includes how often Alicia ‪#Sliverstone‬ drinks ‪#EarlGreyTea‬
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
6 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending:‪#WorstWesternsEver‬ includes ‪#TheGood‬, the ‪#Bial‬ and The Ugly.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
5 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: ‪#WorstWesternsEver‬ includes the movie ‪#RepublicanSexualPositons‬
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
5 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@TheFix Which is more impressive: that 63% don't know how the Supreme Court rules on health care or that 38% know who Rob Portman is?
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
4 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Descriptions of the first glimpse of Higgs Boson: "Reminded me a bit of Gene Weingarten."
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
2 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@celebritology I want to see a copy of Justin Bieber's diploma and make sure it is not from Kenya.
 View conversation
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
2 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: Drinking lots of ‪#Brandy‬ probably does not guarantee ‪#SafeRidesHome‬
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
2 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
It is sad when couples split over religions differences, such as when one spouse worships the other;s money.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
2 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@geneweingarten I would buy your Latvian hypochondria book except my Latvian is one of the few things that doesn't bother me.
 View conversation
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
1 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Yuengling Porter beer is "for tavern & family trade" only. Hey, kids, I brought back some beer for the whole family?
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
1 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@TheFix John Lennon's song "Power to the People" has renewed interest.
 View conversation
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
1 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@TheFix That is because there is a force in the universe that makes things happen.
 View conversation
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
30 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Sometimes I feel that a tweet is like a message sent in a bottle, a cracked bottle that sinks to the bottom of the ocean.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
30 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
When I read Supreme Court decisions, I can't help but think they need more cowbell.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
29 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending" ‪#TheBachelor‬ will be ‪#TomCruise‬ while ‪#RaisingAnOlympian‬ with soon-to-be former wife ‪#KatieHolmes‬. They are not ‪#PeopleLikeUs‬
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
29 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@MonicaHesse It is entendent that sprites create new words in the English language.
 View conversation
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
28 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
If only money contributed to politicians for their views on health care were contributed instead to health care itself...
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
28 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@TheFix By a 5-4 vote, the Supreme Court has drafted Thomas Robinson. No, wait....
 View conversation
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
28 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@geneweingarten Forget the politics, celebrate that the rainbow Oreo has six fillings!
 View conversation
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
28 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes School books really should teach they if you imbibe too much, you may see Nessie or eat someone's face.
 View conversation
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
28 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@ReliableSource The official death of bipartisan Congressional cooperation happened when they couldn't agree to be silly together.
 View conversation
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
28 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
How bad do you have to be if a contempt body holds you in contempt?
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
28 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Romney received $1,75 million contributions hours after SCOTUS ruling. People would rather contribute to Romney than to their health care.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
28 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@TheFix Her necklace matched her hair, while his tie matched his skin. ‪#fixcaption‬
 View conversation
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
28 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@TheFix Obamacare: "If you're happy and you know it clap your hands..." ‪#fixcaption‬
 View conversation
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
28 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@TheFix Smile now, but in a few seconds, you're going to smell something... ‪#fixcaption‬
 View conversation
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
28 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
For those moving to Canada because they don't like Obamacare, have they got a surprise once they get to Canada.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
28 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: ‪#BornFabulous‬: ‪#Obamacare‬ which was born today as the law of the land.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
28 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
OK, so we legalized requiring buying health insurance, fine you if you'd don't, but no penalty if you don't pay the fine. Only in America.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
28 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
So it was only pot, not bath salts, that made some want "face time". If you are on pot and get the munchies, think and don't eat a face.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
26 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
In Tennessee, "I Want to Hold Your Hand" is a song about filth.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
26 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
If Democrats can't raise enough money to hold their nominating convention, I guess they will have to pass and not nominate anyone this year.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
26 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
The problem with gay Republican weddings is coming out to your friends that you are Republican.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
26 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes I may have to miss you tomorrow, but that may be just as well. I realized I took up 60% of your inquiries today. Sorry.
 View conversation
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
26 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes Thanks. Got an email from Obama worried he may be the first Pres. outspent. Sad both campaigns only have so many millions...
 View conversation
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
26 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes A four minute conversation? Is everything alright? I've known people who take longer just to complete one thought.
 View conversation
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
26 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
There shall be a two hour "Spice Girls" musical, which works out, as it will cover their entire two hours of fame.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
26 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
I'll gladly leave the "Today" Show for just $9 million.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
26 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Charlie Sheen has retired, after a film career of being a dog.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
26 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Uggle has retired, after a film career of working like a dog.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
26 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: ‪#RememberTheTime‬ when ‪#SpiceGirls‬ were popular?
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
26 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
So sad to hear that John Edwards and Rielle Hunter have split. If that couple can't make it, what couple can?
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
25 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: ‪#BadPornTitles‬ include "‪#ParisHilton‬ and her ‪#SCOTUS‬"
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
25 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Anyone who declines to marry Kristin Chenoweth is destined to have a breakdown.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
25 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Cher will tour with an impersonator. The tour will be billed as Cher and Cher A Like.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
25 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Charlie Sheen and Mel Gibson are filming a movie together. That caused the completion bond to double.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
23 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: ‪#DepressingToys‬ might include that ‪#JerrySandusky‬ action figure.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
22 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Give me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, unless I may gain super strength from either a spider bite or radioactivity.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
22 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Why are ‪#KatyPerryMovie‬ and ‪#NoPantyDay‬ trending at the same time? I do not believe there is any relation to each other, is there?
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
21 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
If anyone says you aren't as funny as you used to be, explain that looking at the person who said that made you lose your humor perspective.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
20 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@geneweingarten Is shat so?
 View conversation
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
20 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
No, 98 Degrees is not returning for another show; it is 98 degrees outside,
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
20 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Let us never forget Jerry Manassey, LA's greatest bartender.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
20 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Someday people will be saying "remember the great classical actors like Kristen Stewart?"
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
19 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@geneweingarten @bengreenman It is possible to have a no-hitter but not a shutout. The shutout with hits would be better for the team.
 View conversation
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
14 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Marijuana is kosher for Passover. One way to enjoy the high holidays.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
14 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
I believe if we raised the salary for President of the United States from $200,000 to $210,000 we would get a much improved applicant pool.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
13 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: ‪#EnglishNamesForHindiFilm‬ ‪#AntoniosyAntonias‬
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
12 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@JebBush You are right, Reagan and your father worked so much on bipartisanship, they would never be nominated today.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
12 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes Great column. It is Special.
 View conversation
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
12 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Tara's tear's in my beer. ‪#ReplaceASongWithTara‬
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
12 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Ta-ra-ra-boom-Tara ‪#ReplaceASongWithTara‬
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
12 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@geneweingarten Even England's Prime Minister and wife can forget their child. At least the child wasn't left in a hot locked car.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
11 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
The New York Yankees are in first place. World harmony has been established.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
11 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: ‪#GirlsLoveItWhen‬ I sing songs from ‪#HighSchoolMusical2‬
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
11 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Beware of mothers suddenly buying pet dingos.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
11 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
If you beat up a librarian for allowing "Fifty Shades" to be available, aren't you just proving the books' point?
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
10 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Note to super villains: Pursue someone other than Mary Jane Watson Parker. Learn from the mistakes of those before you. ‪#Spiderman‬
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
10 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Breaking news: Today's "Lilo" strip has a new joke. Honest. ‪#Lilo‬
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
9 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
New York City public school lunches going meatless. Not for health reasons. Schools can't afford meat.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
8 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@annekornblut Bill Clinton says Hillary runs in 2016, but, then, you really need the word from a Hillary insider,
 View conversation
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
8 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@celebritology We will stop comparing Jennifer Aniston to Angelina Jolie when Brad Pitt stops doing it.
 View conversation
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
8 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: ‪#23MillionWereBornToBeSomeday‬ What? Everyone else is chicken liver?
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
8 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@geneweingarten Klout say I am influential among "goat farmers in Greenland".
 View conversation
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
8 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@geneweingarten Sorry, your least tweet was TLDR. Please keep tweets to 40 spaces, maximum.
 View conversation
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
8 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes I love the part where it is said Joe Biden is turning people gay, Frankly, looking at Joe Biden helps me decide I am not gay,
 View conversation
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
8 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes When someone is told their church prayed for them so they will not go to Hell,they are supposed to say "thanks"?
 View conversation
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
8 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@AgnelinaJolie Shhh, I thought our '50 shades" relationship would always remain a secret.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
8 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: ‪#10ThingsIMustDoBeforeIDie‬ are see ‪#Hamgover3‬ ten times.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
7 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
What? There is a connection between stress and disease? NOW YOU FRIGGIN TELL ME THIS? Sorry. Deep breath NOW YOU FRIGGIN TELL ME THIS?
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
7 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: ‪#BestBriitshBand‬ has to be ‪#Jay‬-Z
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
7 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes We of the Squirrel Anti-Defamation League wish to speak with you....Of course, nuns, they are fair game to make fun of...
 View conversation
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
7 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@chaneyj I love when "Mad Men" shows a 60s attitude that resonates differently today. What do they think when they are filming those?
 View conversation
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
6 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@MonicaHesse MY TWEETS AREN'T ANNOYING, ARE TNEY? HUH? HUH? HUH? NOT AT ALL, RIGHT, HUH? HUH? HUH?
 View conversation
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
6 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: ‪#ThingsWeSayWhileGettinArrest‬ include ‪#WeNotDatingIf‬ "the bitch set me up."
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
6 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes That's it! I am naming my new book on econometric theory "50 Shades of Sex Secrets of Nuns".
 View conversation
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
6 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@ReliableSource Jack Ambramoff may never play gold in DC again, but he can join the Dead Cat Helicopter Society.
 View conversation
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
6 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
I made a cat helicopter, but the cat didn't seem too happy about it.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
5 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Capitol Press Room urinal explodes. Sadly, reporters did not notice the difference until days afterwards.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
5 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Why pop a pill in your mouth when you may spend $275 dripping it into your veins?
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
5 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: ‪#TommyLasorda‬, ‪#HesIrish‬ which is ‪#ThingsThatBotherMe‬ because I don't think that's correct
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
5 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes For $75 I'd tuck you in and read you Obama fund raising emails while holding a cat.
 View conversation
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
5 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes Should we repeal the end of Section 9 of the Constitution? I wonder how much money the Fed could raise selling nobility titles?
 View conversation
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
5 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Holland had taken the lead in dead cat aviation. America, can we allow this to continue?
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
4 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Today is ‪#NationalHugYourCatDay‬. Tomorrow is ‪#NationalCatScratchFeverDay‬.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
4 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@geneweingarten At least he didn't do something creepy like tape bacon into the cat.
 View conversation
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
4 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes I'll bring the Obama fund raising letter while holding a cat. Which parking lot would you like to meet? There, you made orange
 View conversation
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
4 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes You think that is bad? My Internet Bible states Eve bit a Microsoft.
 View conversation
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
3 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: ‪#ReasonsWeDontTalkAnymore‬ is because we waste time watching things like the ‪#MTVMovieAwards‬
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
3 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@chaneyj You have friends. Remember, the people the people you are with have mechanized voices enhanced electronically. They are not real,.
 View conversation
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
3 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: ‪#ILikeYour‬ ‪#TigerWoods‬ ‪#CreepyChildrensToy‬
Collapse
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
7:00 PM - 3 Jun 12 via web · Details
Image will appear as a link
2 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Who would have thought Thad McCotter would get more votes for President than signatures for his reelection campaign?
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
1 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: ‪#TextsThatGetNoReply‬ include, Hi, I'm ‪#JohnEdwards‬
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
1 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Oh, the now trending is ‪#MentionAFollowerYouWouldSmash‬. I thought is was ‪#MentionAFollowerYouBelieve‬ is Smashed. That's different.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
31 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: ‪#JohnEdwards‬, ‪#YeahThatsCute‬
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
31 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
I hate it every time I get summoned for jury duty and John Edwards flirts with me.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
31 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: ‪#UnusualNamesForWhiteGirls‬ would have to include ‪#DefenseOfMarriageAct‬, ‪#Tom‬&Jerry and ‪#MarionBarry‬
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
31 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@TheFix Obviously, it means American shoe factory jobs are flying to Greenland. Or, maybe not.
 View conversation
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
31 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Sget. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Hooker ‪#ReplaceBandNamesWithHooker‬
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
30 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: ‪#InappropriateWeddingSongs‬ would include ones that ‪#MentionSomeoneYouLove‬ other than your new spouse.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
30 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: ‪#InappropriateWeddingSounds‬ would include the ‪#LesMiserables‬ album.
Expand
 Reply  Delete  Favorite
Image will appear as a link
   140  Tweet