Tchaikovsky Sounds Funny: December 2007

Is this where I put in key words such as sex, lesbians, vampires, Christopher Lloyd and others things to which this blog do not pertain, but by putting them here, I may get hits from all the Christoper Lloyd lesbian vampire fans (and you know who you are)? This is the primarily humorous and occasionally rambling writings of Leon Tchaikovsky, humor writer. Enjoy.

Friday, December 21, 2007

How That 72 Virgins Thing Works

Samuel Anta has recently realized that getting a yahoo email address at has its drawbacks this time of year.

A store is giving a discount is one says “merry Christmas.” Will I still get the discount if I say “merry Christmas, Allah is great?”

What is it like to be the Spears mother and realize that, at age 16, Britney was the more responsible daughter? I am sad her book on parenting has been canceled. What the publisher should do, instead, is rush the book out for publication. They should offer it as a 2 for 1 deal with the O.J. Simpson book. That way, we could read how a murder would be committed, if one were to commit a murder, and how one could be a good parent, if one were a good parent.

Men and women think differently. Women get upset at men for staring at a woman’s shoes dispute our prior protestations that we never notice shoes. What they don’t realize understand is we will stare at women’s shoes when they have a trail of toilet paper attached to them.

Do you know why all terrorist camps have 73 trainees? Because, that way, after each dies, they can deliver on their promise that each will be together with 72 virgins.

Sunday, December 09, 2007

Maybe if Santa Lost Weight, Maine Would Leave Him Alone

The Surgeon General states he wants Santa Clause to lose weight. The White House determined it would be easier to have the Surgeon General issue this recommendation that it would be to explain to the President that Santa doesn’t exist.

Maine state officials are trying to ban the sale in Maine of Santa’s Butt Beer, claiming the beer appeals to underage buyers. I don’t know, I am sure the finest New England country clubs have Santa’s Butt Beer on their wine and spirits lists.

This time of year has got to be hard on Bin Laden. I just visualize him in a cave, sending out Christmas card lists, and shouting out to aides “does Rosenthal get a Christmas card or a Hanukkah card?”

I saw a toy for sale that had a tag that reads “Made in China. If this product is defective, please call our toll free line and we’ll have the plant manager immediately executed.”

I noticed at several restaurants that the wait server takes the order and then someone from the kitchen actually delivers the food. At the end of the meal, the wait server gets the tip. Yet, I am thinking, what did the wait server really do? The person in the kitchen did all the hard work. Shouldn’t the tip go to that person? In sum, does the tip go to the person who spits on your back or to the person who spits into your food?

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