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Tchaikovsky Sounds Funny: Entitled Tweets

Is this where I put in key words such as sex, lesbians, vampires, Christopher Lloyd and others things to which this blog do not pertain, but by putting them here, I may get hits from all the Christoper Lloyd lesbian vampire fans (and you know who you are)? This is the primarily humorous and occasionally rambling writings of Leon Tchaikovsky, humor writer. Enjoy.

Wednesday, August 03, 2016

Entitled Tweets


Trump asked for the baby to  be removed from his rally. Security then removed Trump.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jul 19
Go ahead, Melanie. No one will remember Michelle's speech after so many years.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jul 18
Eating alone at a restaurant. Waiter asked if I wanted one bill or separate bills. I said separate. I await seeing my separate bills.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jul 16
"I need TP for my bunghole." And by TP I mean Trump Pence.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jul 3
Did Trump use non-profit funds for personal gain? Which is what Chaka Fatta was recently convicted of doing?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jul 3
The way to stop illegal drug tunnels and smuggling people in vehicles is not to build a fence.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jul 3
No, Trump did not say he would built a wall around Mexico and make Mexico pay for it. Wait, that one might be true.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jul 3
No, Muslims have not contributed $250 million to Hillary Clinton's campaign. (Neither candidate has even raised close to that amount.)
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jul 3
No, Eric Trump did not say his father would send Mexicans back to Asia.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jul 3
No, Obama is not denying Christians the right to pray in public buy letting only Muslims the right to pray in public.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jul 3
If you fact checked your re-postings, you might not repost them.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jul 3
If Romney or Reagan had made a small fraction of the mistakes Trump has made, neither would ever have been nominated for President.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 30
If you spend a life texting, what have you done that you possibly spend all your time texting about?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 30
I used to be amazed that people believed zombies are real, until I noticed a society of people walking and texting.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 30
July 4 we celebrate the July 2 Declaration of Independence because then it took two days to announce news. No cable networks back then.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 30
Be proud of who you are, not prouder of who you aren't.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 29
Overheard this: "Isn't it amazing that the triplets all have the same birthday?"
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 28
If you electrify chocolate, it reduces fat and is still tasty. Do not electrify chocolate on your own. Leave it to professionals.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 27
Secret to best sellers: Use descriptive verbs to characters who are close to each other. Add zombies and werewolves.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 25
Today's helpful hint: When you kill someone and brag about it on Facebook, the police are allowed to consider that as evidence.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 25
I never believed zombies are real until I saw people coming out to vote for Trump.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 24
New British signs: "Keep calm, and now panic."
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 24
I am circulating a petition for the US to leave the EU.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 24
"First the UK, now the US. Take back America." This slogan is nonsensical. When did the UK become part of America?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 23
Overheard man say Hillary will raise his taxes and give the money to Blacks and gays, Advised that he should marry a Black man.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 23
Hillary will not be vetting Chaka Fattah.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 23
Make American great again, which will occur with a Trump cable network.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 22
Trump states he can make money running for President. Is he running for President for the right reason?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 22
Reagan would advise Trump to tear down this wall idea.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 22
Rep. Carlos Curbelo is correct. Trump's announcement speech will be him looking at the delegates announcing "you're all fired."
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 20
Over 80% favor banning gun sales to people on terrorist list. Now if only they would vote according to their views.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 19
I could not find Dory but I found Waldo.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 19
Sports championships are events that decide which city may have a riotous celebration.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 19
I wonder if LeBron James thinks Red Sox games are fixed.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 19
Remember back when the Republicans would never nominate anyone who is praised by the Russian Premier?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 19
Remember, those drugs you are taking were once inside someone's butt or vagina.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 19
Infiltration, informants, monitoring produces success. Profiling achieves little and harms innocents.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 19
Tom DeLay says God wrote the Constitution. Did heretics write all the amendments?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 18
My condolences to friends and family of Meatloaf whose passing was erroneously printed in print and social media
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 18
How sick does one have to be to claim a mass shooting was staged and fake? Why do people believe zombies are real and shootings are not?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 18
I know people who believe a zombie apocalypse will happen. The scary part is they are voting for Trump.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 18
Friend told she only has a few months to live. Here is hoping for one of those miracles,
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 17
A woman who chooses Coolie over me is probably…a smart woman. Choosing Pee Wee Herman over me is probably a smart move.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 17
Let the dehydrated meatloaf jokes begin….
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 17
"I misspoke when I blamed Obama for the Orlando shootings. I meant to blame Hillary."
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 17
Jo Cox shooter had US neo-Nazi ties. I await proposals to ban Americans from entering the UK.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 17
I await proposals to ban lone wolf men from entering the country.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 17
Let me get this straight. You want to ban Muslims from entering yet once a terrorist is in the US, a terrorist may buy as many guns wanted.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 16
Remember, if you do not support Trump, he asks that you keep quiet.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 15
I await a proposal that we build a wall around Florida to keep alligators out. And Cuba will pay for it.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 14
A Muslim shoots many people with an assault weapon. The nation debates whether to ban assault weapons or to ban Muslims.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 14
A Muslim uses automatic weapon to kill many. Nation debates whether to ban Muslims or ban automatic weapons.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 12
I wonder how many people praying for victims still would not let them choose the bathroom of their choice?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 11
Remember, Trump says he is the least racist person. Everyone else: you are racists.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 10
A spam message states a total stranger wants to deposit $52 million into my band account. That sounds totally reasonable.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 10
Poll: The Phillie Phanatic defeats Trump. Now if only Hillary could run ahead of Trump.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 10
For those wondering if you will get arrested for peeing on a cop car, the answer is "yes".
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 9
I believe in a country where everyone may have their own uncredited universities.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 9
Calling Trump the emotional equivalent of a three year old is an insult to three year olds.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 7
Graduating from Clown University, unlike Trump University, provides you with a useful skill.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 7
So, the new racism is to call someone a racist for pointing out someone's racism?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 7
My condolences to friends and admirers of Jack Black whose death has been erroneously reported on this Internet fad.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 7
Two Lane is the alternate school to Tulane.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 6
A bribe is a contribution if Trump pays it.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 6
"Sure, I was a football star at Trump University."
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 6
So the premise here is Latino judges are automatically biased. Does this mean you believe only white judges are unbiased?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 5
I keep awaiting Trump announcing "You idiots, this was only a publicity stunt. You actually bought this?"
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 5
Trump says he loved Muhammad Ali. But he would not let him into this country.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 3
"Look at my African American over here." Does Trump own him?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 3
Does he really think the judicial system works such that someone who criticizes him will go to jail?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 3
So you think the judge is biased because he is not white like you are?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 3
Mary Poppins has swooped down and taken Lin Manuel Miranda away.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 3
My friends say they prefer my hacked Facebook account to my real one.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 2
When is the Trump University class reunion?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 1
Everyone in this restaurant is wearing the exact same shirt, including me. Whoever they are, they probably assume I am one of them.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 1
Wait, the parents were filming their boys as they destroyed art work?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Jun 1
The horses you rode in on are organizing to protest being assaulted.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  May 31
I await a company producing cans reading "I am moving to Canada if your candidate wins."
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  May 30
Today's advice: Do not poop in your holding cell. The press will love the news and they will spell your name correctly.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  May 29
I went to see an existential play. It was not there.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  May 29
What happens if both Presidential nominees are indicated?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  May 28
Why did I pay ten dollars admission to a free film festival?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  May 28
Someone pointed at me and said "Look, there is Patrick Duffy, He really let himself go."
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  May 27
If you have nothing to say, please don't say it.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  May 26
Among most common Google searches: "How to make a baby?" "How to make meth?" I guess the young want to make something.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  May 26
Hospital profits are up, their number of charitable cases are down. How do you think they increased profits?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  May 26
If your hospital is making 10% profit it is not a charity.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  May 26
Only in the USA would a capitalist demand $10 million to debate a socialist.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  May 26
Amtrak advises against taking selfless of trains about to run you over. The lighting usually is quite bad.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  May 23
Trump to Muslims: I do not want you in the USA, but if you are already here, I want you to vote for me.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  May 21
How high do you have to be to have your girlfriend overdose and you not notice for several days?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  May 19
I am off to count the number of racial minority people on Trump's list of potential Supreme Court nominees.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  May 19
So you think Hillary is too old to be President, so you support Trump, who is  two years older than is Hillary.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  May 10
The Cubs have the best record in baseball. Trump could be elected President. When did I die and what dimension is this?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  May 10
Scientists find that penis size has no correlation to the size of any other body part; to the happiness of many small footed or hands men.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  May 10
Today's helpful hint If you are an FBI informant, do not defraud the  FBI using their money.They may find out and they may be upset.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  May 10
Capitol webcam falcon is sociopath: feeds 3 of her children to the 4th. "Never seen before" activity. Webcams  drives any family crazy.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  May 10
Scientists discovered 100 Earth sized planets. But enough about your mother and her friends….
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  May 10
Where in international law does one country make another country build and pay for a wall?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  May 8
Anyone else notice that the only person stating a wish to be Trump's running mate is Sarah Palin?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  May 7
Obviously anyone writing about Economics on an airplane must be a terrorist.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  May 7
The most connected I am with people on social media, the less connected I feel I am with people.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  May 5
One person has been arrested for loud sex in Pennsylvania. (Was she alone?) Everyone else in Pennsylvania has sex quietly.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  May 4
We now live in an era where reality shows are scripted and political candidates are not.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  May 3
Trump tries to link Ted Cruz's family to JFK's assassination? I am only surprised he did not try and link it to Hillary.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 30
Del Taco fires rude server. Thousands of New York City waiters are totally confused by this move.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 28
I remember when praise from the Russian Prime Minister would have been the kiss of death to a Republican Presidential candidate.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 28
If is not nice for Democrats to call Cruz Lucifer. Oh wait, that was not Democrats?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 27
Of course. Cruz-Fiorina. Now people will not vote for Trump.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 27
John McCain's fundraiser arrested for having a meth lab. Well, that is one way to raise political funds.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 27
Of course my cousin will move to Canada if Trump is elected President. That is to where all the industry jobs are already moving.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 25
Congratulations to Harris Wofford on doing what he wishes to do.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 22
Never met Prince yet my mother did. So sad. Did meet Chyna which is another shock. Too many die too young.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 20
Kasich: You do not eat pizza with a knife and fork. You eat candy bars with a knife and fork.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 19
P.S. For those who do not follow politics and think I make this stuff up. No, this stuff writes itself.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 19
Cruz has reversed his position on dildos, which frankly I believe is his private right.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 19
TSA did not find 67 of 70 test weapons. They will find your small shampoo bottle but not an actual gun. For this we wait two hours.


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