Life Is All a Twitter

"Shiate"? I can't tell if he is discussing mushrooms, Muslims, or swearing.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 9m
Received email stating "you will die soon from a heart attack" still was the most cheerful email I received today.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 16h
The Sun is middle aged. Let's hope it stays in shape and doesn't have a heart attack or a stroke.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 16 Nov
Isn't it time we relegate Michele Bachman to the role of the crazy aunt we let attend Thanksgiving and pretend not to hear what she says?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 16 Nov
Hey, Illinois voters, before you decide on Paul Vallas for Lt. Governor, check his references in Philadelphia.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 16 Nov
Sadly, I do know someone who can fart so strongly from a urinal that his fart can activate the automatic towel dispenser.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 15 Nov
We need good solid American entertainers like Tina Turner, oh, wait, never mind.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 15 Nov
@2xpisces Thank you for the retweet. By the way, do you have $13 billion to loan?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 15 Nov
Yes, you may get pregnant on a toilet seat, although that usually is not a comfortable position for two people.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 15 Nov
Why are you asking if I have $13 billion to loan you? #AskJPM
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 15 Nov
I look at the urn and think of my Uncle. Oh, and of Jimmy Hoffa, too.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 15 Nov
@karenase73f96g Thanks for the spam. I didn't open it but I always appreciate that spammers think of me.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 15 Nov
150 years later, Hbg. Patriot retracts its criticism of Lincoln's Gettysburg address. Maybe Fox News will retract everything 1in 50 years.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 15 Nov
So there are more female authors on the 100 greatest books 1898 list than today. Still think we take women authors seriously today?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 15 Nov
Wow, excellent point. If ERs won't treat the poor, then it is official policy to let the poor die. At least give them cake to eat first.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 15 Nov
@petridishes Wait, you mean the Newsweek was inside me all along?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 14 Nov
@sutterink You know, zombies could have saved "The Cavemen".
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 14 Nov
Just learned some people take their computers to bed with them and sleep with their computers. The next fight is for legal computer marriage
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 13 Nov
RIP Marvin Page. You  were great and left us way too soon and too tragically.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 13 Nov
@heckyeahandyk Thanks for the favorite? Are you my daddy?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 13 Nov
@SallyMullins1 You are hot and cute. And much more. You're Andy Kaufman's secret daughter. I won't tell anyone.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 13 Nov
I am Andy Kaufman's secret daughter. Honest.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 13 Nov
There is a new political party forming in New York: The Insurance Rates are Too Damn High Party.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 13 Nov
Is there really a 99 Cent Store on Rodeo Drive? Buy a $500 shirt and a 99 cent stale pastry, all in one trip.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 13 Nov
If a person has Tourette but won't swear when near you, does that mean this person is uncomfortable around you?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 13 Nov
I learned today one is fined $15,000 for putting fecal matter into a brain without proper authorization. This is an amazing world.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 13 Nov
Who leads the Black Caucus of the Tea Party?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 13 Nov
Total stranger came up to me yesterday and said "I don't have fookin' Tourettes, I'm Irish."
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 12 Nov
@geneweingarten One doesn't find many women named Abishag these days. People are trending away from those Biblical names.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 12 Nov
@MonicaHesse The product is fine. It is the customer's fault for using the product.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 12 Nov
Some people are turned off by the photo of a McRib before it is cooked. Others are turned off by seeing a McRib when it is served.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 12 Nov
@sutterink Thanks for the great talk. Appreciate knowing which SAMCRO were vets. Some estimate 80% of MC members are vets keeping bonds real
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 12 Nov
There are more serious problems in this world than Miley Cyrus smoking a joint. Honest.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 10 Nov
U.S.A. #InitialsOfSomeoneSpecial Yes, Ursula Sandra Andrews is really special to me.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 10 Nov
Start a rumor that cracks cures homosexuality and free legal crack will be in the 2016 Republican Party Platform.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 10 Nov
Anyone else less upset that Rand Paul did not attribute Wikipedia that with that he relies of Wikipedia for what he says?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 10 Nov
"Don't fire until you see the whites of the crack stuck in their mustaches."
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 10 Nov
"Four of us scored crack seven years ago."
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 10 Nov
"I pledge to keep doing crack until Obamacare is repealed."
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 10 Nov
"After four heart transplants, crack is what's keeping me alive."
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 10 Nov
"I only do crack when the bitch sets me up. And by bitch, I mean that giant 30 foot dog standing next to you."
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 10 Nov
"I only do crack when I am too drunk to realize what I am doing. Oh, and I may have killed someone."
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 10 Nov
"I only do crack on social occasions or Cabinet meetings."
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 10 Nov
"I did crack, but I did not inhale."
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 10 Nov
So, is "have you ever done crack" going to become a standard reporters' question of political candidates?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 10 Nov
@slipperypeople2 Thank you for the favorite. The tweet feels empowered and may run off now and marry a gay tweet.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 9 Nov
If you interpret who gets into heaven and then decide that only your group gets to go to heaven, you may want to rethink your interpretation
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 9 Nov
Only gay legislator votes against gay marriage because it's what the public wants, even though 55% in her state support gay marriage. Got it
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 8 Nov
George W. Bush wants to convert Jews to Christianity. Well, that should be enough convincing enough.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 8 Nov
The Redskins were named for an Indian imposter. Imagine that, an imposter in D.C.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 8 Nov
I used to think we guys were weird until I learned what most girls make their Barbie dolls do.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 8 Nov
@medaJolie Angelina, you've come back to me. Wait, your not the same blood letting woman who used to live here....
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 8 Nov
@chaneyj Is it Claire Danes, who was on "My So-Called Life?" I too know I've seen her somewhere. Didn't she wait tables at Tortilla Coast?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 8 Nov
What have you imagined today? #yokoQandA
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 8 Nov
@petridishes That one can't say anything sensible in 140 spaces is the most sensible things ever written on Twitter.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 7 Nov
@TheFix You say Christ Christie, I say former Security Industries Association lobbyist who Romney wouldn't pick for V.P.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 7 Nov
Every time someone tells me they are preparing for the Second Coming, I ask when it was they had the first orgasm.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 7 Nov
@HorrorNights Dracula Snakula
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 7 Nov
@HorrorNights Among the monsters now shown on the Universal Monsters film is Chuy Bravo.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 7 Nov
@petridishes I love my cheese/ Pass me some please/ It tastes gooda / As it shoulda . Linburger is God's way of testing us.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 7 Nov
It is easy to love those who are good to you. The key is to love everyone else. (That really creeps them out.)
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 7 Nov
"His goal is to be so rich he hires Brad Pit and Angelina Jolie to keep away the paparazzi."
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 6 Nov
Robert Kennedy's given Native American name was Braveheart. If the Redskins change to Bravehearts, they will be named after Robert Kennedy.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 6 Nov
"Yes, I would try the ice cream with jellyfish proteins that glows when you lick it. After all, you do crack."
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 5 Nov
Why don't we put all sex acts on the ballot and ask voters to decide which should be legal?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 5 Nov
Candidate who believes you should be in jail if you engage in oral sex running at 49% in early returns. America: Your future?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 5 Nov
New standard League of Womens Voters question: If elected, will you use crack cocaine?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 5 Nov
Ted Nugent running for President is as "awesome" as Ozzie Osborne asking to pilot your airplane.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 5 Nov
"Star Wars" holding open auditions. I would be a natural for a mutated alien.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 5 Nov
My advice: When you become a big city Mayor: stop using crack cocaine. It is not pretty when the press finds out.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 4 Nov
A woman wrote she was sending me a boob photo. It was a picture of Ted Cruz.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 3 Nov
Oh, wait, the trending topic is NOT about Congress. #walkingdead
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 3 Nov
I love learning how I have all these fans in Latvia, and how none of them follow me on Twitter.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 3 Nov
Dumbbell: "Yeah, well I know the boss, so top that." Response: "I am the boss."
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 3 Nov
@HorrorNights Clowns with bats could be an idea for a maze. Not saying it is a good idea....
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 3 Nov
Yes, I agree you have a big dick. Which is fine, for when half of it gets cut off, you won't mind as much."
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 3 Nov
"No, spankings from me are a reward. If I want to punish you, I would refuse to give you a spanking."
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 3 Nov
"No, I haven't seen more couples break up because of sex. I've seen more couples break up because they don't have sex."
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 3 Nov
I can't figure out why a cult that believes you can live without food and water has not lasted long.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 3 Nov
"What does the Fox say?" "Wa pa pa pa pow Obama's the worst President ever."
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 3 Nov
"Her family could not understand how she could bring such shame on them, marrying a member of Congress."
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 2 Nov
There are people in this world who would rather be known as a murderer than a tree masturbator. #Skakel
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 2 Nov
@geneweingarten Just kidding. I have no idea what is going on, Although I would avoid drinking the coffee in that office.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 2 Nov
@geneweingarten It is an irony that one thinks a point is being made when face down (drunk?), not realizing others view him not his point.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 2 Nov
Don't forget to remind people you don't like to set their clocks forward an hour tonight,
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 2 Nov
Remember, tonight you're supposed to fall back, or something or other. I wasn't paying attention.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 1 Nov
You know, if only David Ortiz had hit that grand slam, then he would have had a great World Series.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 1 Nov
I figured it out The easier way to Heaven is to be a Satanist but do nothing as a Satanist so they kick you out and send you to Heaven. Easy
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 1 Nov
If insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result: I give you: birthers,
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 1 Nov
Birthers: Obama birth certificate does NOT list him as "African American".
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 1 Nov
Birthers: Kenya was named in the 1880s, not 1964, so get over that his father is listed in 1961 as being from Kenya.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 1 Nov
So....Chris Christie's nickname among the Romney team was Pufferfish? Hmmm, wonder how they picked that name?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 31 Oct
Only 152 days until the start of the baseball season.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 31 Oct
I miss Halloween as a kid. Our neighbor used to give us free razor blades in our apples.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 31 Oct
More people have seen a ghost then support their member of Congress. They will soon see their member of Congress as a political ghost.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 31 Oct
"Ali, forget plan A. They want us to turn on our cell phones during take off." How to keep an NSA agent up another night.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 31 Oct
@MonicaHesse Ah, Houston, we have a problem. I hope everything is alright.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 31 Oct
Men: want to take a billion dollars from woman? Support the Republican plan to shift maternity health care payments.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 31 Oct
@MonicaHesse Houston, we are at t minus 55 minutes and counting. There will be no more reminder as I have to go to the store.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 31 Oct
@LauraAshley18 Hey, thanks for the spam. Sorry I didn't check it out, but I am sure you put good effort into your spam.@LauraAshley18
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 31 Oct
Electronic devices that they told us cause planes to crash may now be used on planes. I think the FAA secretly hates us.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 31 Oct
@jrstahl I saw someone wearing a Joe Biden mask, but then it turned out it was Joe Biden.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 31 Oct
@MonicaHesse Houston, we are at t minus four hours and counting. Would you like another wake up call closer to the event?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 31 Oct
If you thought Joe Biden is crazy, wait until you see the Republican candidates.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 31 Oct
Ted Cruz promising not to help conservatives defeat incumbent Republican Senators: Oh, yeah, he's running for President.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 31 Oct
Anthony Weiner's stating people weren't tough enough on him makes me think he bought Huma a dominatrix outfit.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 31 Oct
My note to trick or readers is "You're not getting any candy because you're too fat, but because I'm too cheap."
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 30 Oct
Florida has switched to the Cardinals. This World Series may be decided by the Supreme Court.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 30 Oct
Fox News declaring the World Series is not over as they still have to play game seven tomorrow.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 30 Oct
@sutterink Glad to hear about the book. I am reading it the day it comes out.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 30 Oct
No, Sarah Palin is not the CEO of Payless Shoes. Guess again.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 30 Oct
This just in: Fox News  has projected that the St. Louis Cardinals will win the World Series.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 30 Oct
Shane Victorino has been hurting lately. I hope he is alright to play at least adequately today. #ShaneVictorino
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 30 Oct
Move over, rednecks, Kanye West wants to join you.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 30 Oct
Remember, every time you tweet "Ali, the eagle lands tomorrow", someone at NSA has to work overtime.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 30 Oct
@AbhiAgarwal Thank you for the favorite. The tweet now feels emotionally empowered and ready to face the world.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 30 Oct
If you play "Dark Side of the Moon" album while watching the Ted Cruz filibuster, you learn this amazing fact: You both need help.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 30 Oct
Man found in apartment died eight years ago? I think that is one lackadaisical landlord.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 29 Oct
I have heard a fox bark. Sounds nothing like that what the song claims.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 29 Oct
@jrstahl Welcome to the Washington Post. You are now going to learn that just about our entire lives have been lies.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 29 Oct
To the woman who tried to pay court fines with money with exploding ink stains from a bank robbery: Go into a different field.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 29 Oct
The Jonas Brothers are divorcing.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 28 Oct
@geneweingarten @jrstahl I see from her photos she has been to both "MacBeth" (should have won Best Actor) and Comic Com. She's a keeper.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 28 Oct
@geneweingarten @jrstahl "Pistol" would have been a good nickname, but today it would have to be "Legally Registered Weapon".
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 28 Oct
At first, I thought I saw a drawing of a rooster having relations with a headless chicken. They I saw it was a map of England and Wales.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 28 Oct
@geneweingarten @jrstahl I thought Jrstahi stood for Jersey Taiihitians, that rare breed of people who leave Tahiti for the Jersey shore.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 28 Oct
FYI, in case you haven't heard: wearing blackflace is not OK.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 28 Oct
@petridishes My lucubrate is, irregardless, you actually exacerbate the synergy of the game changer headline lies, so twerk, for YOLO.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 28 Oct
@petridishes P.S. You really are salt of the earth.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 28 Oct
Gone from Halloween skeletons asking for candy to anorexics going door to door asking no one feed them.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 28 Oct
My costume is a shirt reading "DEBT" while wearing a ceiling tile around my neck.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 28 Oct
@MonicaHesse Rod Lowe as JFK. There is a rumor, which I believe is not true, that there was a Rob Lowe assassination attempt. Will send info
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 28 Oct
If you credit a deity for your home run, who do you credit for going 0 for 7 before the home run?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 28 Oct
The hoax that a recent celebrity death was a hoax was a hoax. I already forgot who is on first on that one.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 27 Oct
My house was listed as a "pre-War" house on a map on homes in 1939. My house was built in 1735. It is "pre-Revolutionary War."
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 27 Oct
I think Chris Brown did not remember what it means to follow his terms of probation.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 27 Oct
None of my Internet best friends have me as their best friends. The world of delusion is so much better than reality.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 26 Oct
Massachusetts legislature to consider changes in the legal definition of "obstruction".
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 26 Oct
The Major League website just shut down faster than the Obamacare website shut down.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 26 Oct
God just sent me a direct message: "I thought you were dead."
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 Gene Weingarten ‏@geneweingarten 26 Oct
God just sent me a Direct Message.  I tried to answer but He doesn't follow me.  This is bad. @thetweetofgod
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 26 Oct
@geneweingarten @TheTweetOfGod God, send Your message to your messenger Justin Bieber and have Bieber forward it to Gene Weingarten.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 25 Oct
If you are a bad Satanist, do you go to heaven?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 25 Oct
What does one expect from a health care named Kaiser? That is just one step away from health care named Fuhrer.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 25 Oct
@petridishes "Bravehearts" stereotypes Scottish people.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 25 Oct
If the Redskins change their name to Bravehearts, at least absolutely no one will think they were named after Congress.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 25 Oct
Washington Bravehearts? An insult to all people born with heart defects.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 25 Oct
"18 straight whiskeys. What do you mean that's not the record?" said the guy who lived to see another day.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 25 Oct
I tweet a puppy drowns if you un-follow me, and two people un-follow me. Two cruel heartless people who hate puppies.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 25 Oct
@MonicaHesse Badass Helen Thomas. Make male journalists mingle with female journalists.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 25 Oct
@petridishes After which, millions have wondered "what on Earth does Liz see in Jon?"
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 25 Oct
@ReliableSource Not that you were wondering, yet am one of those tweeting because I have no image to protect. .Rep. Weiner looks down at me.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 25 Oct
@petridishes I still think Abe Vigoda would be perfect for "Fifty Shades of Grey".
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 24 Oct
Newly released sealed documents show Lee Harvey Oswald killed President McKinley.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 24 Oct
No, wait, that was only a false myth about First Lady McKinley, who only tried to drown President McKinley.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 24 Oct
Remember, every time someone un-follows me, First Lady McKinley returns to life and drowns a puppy.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 24 Oct
Now trending: #Pedoria who gets hits and will next sing the National Anthem.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 24 Oct
Cincinnati is where more trends start than anywhere else. #CincinnatiTrending
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 24 Oct
@JamesTaylor You're right, it is one of those songs.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 24 Oct
@geneweingarten BONG (whoever fixed me made me bong three minutes late)
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 24 Oct
@geneweingarten You know, I've ridden roller coasters.