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Leon Tchaikovsky
@SexiestLyingWit
I am an assortment of keywords such as vampires, news, sports, weather, dogs, cats, local news, movies, TV, CIA, AFL-CIO, WGA, no soap radio, Groucho Marx, and
Earth, outside Los Angeles · http://soundsfunny.blogspot.com
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37m Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Happy Cousins Day. Run out and marry one today.
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9h Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
All sheet cover ice in Greenland melted in a matter of days. Greenland finally may really be greenland.
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25 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
My "Our Maine Guy" is now available on http://amazon.com . Please do not order all at once and shut down their website.
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24 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
To think that on this entire planet that only about 900,000 people may walk around and claim they beat me in sales.
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24 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Wow, I cracked the top 900,000 in sales. Are there any goals left in my life?
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24 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Why is the only response to my dating ad from someone named "Kate Gosselin" and why does she want me to sign a waiver first?
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24 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes Have you seen what they do to donuts before they are sent to market? You would never eat another donut.
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24 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Major League Baseball has decided to change past records. Turns out the Cubs won 12 World Series.
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24 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
My "Trials of a 58 Year Old Virgin" is now available on http://amaon.com . Get a copy now. When they're gone, they'll print more..
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23 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Penn State is required to digitally remove Joe Paterno from all photographs he's in.
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23 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Dear press: Please refer to cases with the victims' names. Do not give accuseds publicity as that is why some commit their crimes.
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23 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Wow, "ROTFL With Bob" needs more copies. They should be ready soon. Order copies now before they're gone for good. They make great confetti.
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22 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes Never underestimate the influence of the pickle lobby.
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22 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
"The Gospel According to the Fix" is the book that best explains modern politics. Shock your parents: Follow this gospel and start a cult.
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22 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
There should be a museum where they show all the torn down statues of discredited people such as Paterno, Lenin, Stalin, etc.
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22 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: #SignsYouWereDrunk should have been when you thought inanimate objects were #20PeopleThinkArePretty
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22 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@geneweingarten I always thought the correct phrase is "you is an idiot".
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22 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
"Young Republicans"at Fringe Show is laugh out loud funny, actors are all excellent, and I would buy the music CD if only it were a musical.
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19 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
I dont' mind that Bobby Jindal took part in an exorcism. I mind that it didn't work.
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19 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
My "The Last Soldier to Die" is now available on Amazon. I expect each of my now 29 and growing followers to buy a copy.
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19 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Spoiler alert to that artsy film you're going to see: Don't worry about figuring it out, only one person understand what it all means.
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18 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Spoiler alert to that horror film you are going to see: It is not dead when you think it is dead.
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18 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Spoiler alert to the romantic movie you're going to see: They get back together in the end.
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18 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
My "ROTFL With Bob" is now available on Amazon. I expect each of my 28 followers to purchase a copy.
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17 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: #YouDontKnowStruggle until you've been to the #MelbourneAirport with #JohnSununu
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17 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Remember back when Republicans thought Sarah Palin was more qualified than Romney, Pawlenty, Portman, Rice, etc.
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17 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: #MyLastWordsBeforeIDie will be I wish #RushLimbaugh were in #ToyStory4
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17 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: #ObamaComicBookVillains would include the #KissCam
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17 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
So, what do followers think of Vincent Gray's chances for reelection?
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17 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: #MyLastWordsBeforeIDie will be I wish I spent more time listening to #Bernake
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17 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
The Swift Boat group insists Romney never served in Bain.
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17 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
The suspense over whether Romney will choose Portman or Pawlenty is just killing me.
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17 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@seanonolennon As you know, but others don't, fracking could ruin the drinking water of NYC, DE, Philly, your mother, and ruin the Phillies.
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16 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Twitter now says my most "similar to" is the Griffin Ranch. When you are most like a piece of land, maybe it is time to hang it up.
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16 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@LadyGrew Look at what I do in Twitter, and then don't do that. You'll be fine.
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16 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Don't you just hate it when those Canadians enter our country, speak Canadian, and don't speak English? #KathlynEhl
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16 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Anthony Weiner is considering a political comeback, but he needs to avoid too much exposure.
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16 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@TheFix I predict Romney picks himself for VP, saying he is capable of doing both jobs, announcing it in a secret letter read after the RNC.
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16 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: #WorstFiftyShadesAudioNarrator would be someone singing it as #philosophysongs
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16 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: #Pee-wee Herman would be the #WorstFiftyShadesAudioBookNarrator
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16 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Feeling Jung Every Day #philosophysongs
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16 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
X Marx the Spot #philosophysongs
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16 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Spoiler alert to that action movie you're going to see: The bad guys lose in the end,
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15 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
I learned to never give up. Reach for your goals, no matter what the obstacles, except for the 140 character limitation,
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15 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Happy 100th birthday to Woody Guthrie. I didn't even know he was still alive.
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13 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
To all my friends, is anyone able to remember what year it was when I left Bain Capital? I really can't recall. You know how that is.
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13 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@celebritology Actually, Han Solo is negative several hundred years old.
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13 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
All in a college need to be treated the same. The football culture of favoritism needs to stop. Humor magazines should be the only exception
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13 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
I like the name Brook'Lyn for a girl. Although her brother Staten Island's name is not as good.
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13 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: #RejectedScoutBadges includes one for #Rise&Grind
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13 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@TheFix Of course, I really mean to congratulate you and your family on the arrival of the baby. I wish all the best to your entire family.
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13 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@TheFix Congratulations on the arrival of your wonderful bundle of joy. May you have happiness and love from your next arrival, your book.
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13 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending" #RejectedScoutBadges includes one for #SeekingAFriendForTheEndOfTheWorld
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13 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
The probably with the Penn State Nittany Lions were their Nittany Loins.
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12 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: #RomneySurpriseVPGuesses would have to include #BillRussell
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12 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@ReliableSource And thus the Oprah is dating Krist Novoselic rumors begin...
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12 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes The real error in Romney's resume was he substituted his photograph for one of Nicolas Cage.
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12 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
I want to legalize pot. Not that I'd smoke it. I just want my noisy neighbors to smoke it and mellow out.
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12 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending" #Sandusky was #RaisingAnOlympian in all the wrong ways.
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12 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
We live in a world where Mike Daisey, Rush Limbaugh, etc. pass fiction as fact while Stephen Colbert passes fact as fiction.
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12 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@geneweingarten Mayor Gray may consider allowing the Nationals to change their name to the Washington Vincent Grays.
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12 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Wow, who knew Anthony Michael Hall would grow up and become Ed Helm?
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12 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@geneweingarten I wonder if the Ecatepec population includes the illegal United States immigrants living there.
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11 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Love the new Tom Cruise "Mission Impossible: See, I Can Keep My Divorce Private".
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11 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: #ThingsRomneyShouldSayToTheNAACP are that #LifeIsGood with #RobertBlake around.
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11 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Harrisburg and Scranton are economically brain dead while the debates can't get past whether or not to pull the plugs.
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11 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
If Amazon achieves same day delivery, it directly competes with retail shopping. Amazon v. Walmart could be Godzilla v. King Kong,
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11 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes Does this mean Rep. William Gray has finally written a tell all book about politics?
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11 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
How about that National League victory? See I tweeted when I went from the future and told you they would win. (They did win, right?)
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11 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@darlingsub Hope life is going well. Last we spoke you were about to become a CPA. Hollywood should have auditor action films.. Best 2 U.
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11 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Major breaking news: Sofia Vergara may or may not be engaged. You may resume your regular Twitter activity.
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10 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@MonicaHesse I can't help here. I failed as a door to door Wikipedia salesman.
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10 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@geneweingarten But how would one then distinguish the United States of America from the United States of Asia?
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10 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
I always follow a simple rule: Never put anything in writing.......Oh, drat.
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10 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@MittRomney Are you saying then that there is something wrong with the height of Pennsylvania trees?
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10 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@SarahPaley I will make you happy and cancel appointments whenever you wish.
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10 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Joked about Romney being behind and today he is tied with Obama 47% to 47%. Phillies now hope I joke about their being behind.
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10 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Learning that women are 62% of people on Twitter is a bit emasculating for a guy with over 1,800 tweets.
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9 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
I have found that sending photos of Tom Cruise in place of my resume is not as effective in finding work.
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9 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
I find sending photos of Nicolas Cage in place of my resume to be much more effective in finding work,
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9 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
How about that Romney...no, seriously, I can't do it. Does he really have much of a chance?
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9 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
How about that Obama victory? Oops, returned from the future and posted this too soon.
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9 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Someone remind me to delete the incorrect of the previous two tweets tomorrow after the game.
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9 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
How about that National League victory? Oops, returned from the future and posted this too soon.
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9 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
How about that American League victory? Oops, returned from the future and posted this too soon.
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9 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: #PhilipSeymourHoffman is one of my #10FavoriteRappers
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9 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: #GoToBat with a #HouseOfLords #StripTease
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9 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Get your mind out of the gutter. My uncle being Higgs Boson was not a penis joke.
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9 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
My uncle thinks he is Higgs Boson's gift to women.
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9 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Twitter now says my "similar to" is @Confucious, but I say not.
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9 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Twitter now says my "similar to" is @JesusC but I think it got its wires crossed.
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9 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
For months, Twitter insists @Mrsmagik is my "similar to". Is this my long lost twin sister I never knew I had?
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9 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@TomCruise Now is the appropriate time to jump on a couch.
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9 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@Denise Rich You're lucky, the United States renounces me being a citizen.
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9 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@geneweingarten Most stolen bases allowed by a catcher in one game: 13 against Yankees catcher Branch Rickey, later Dodgers General Manager.
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9 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Barney Frank is in first Congressional same sex marriage since George and Barbara Bush married.
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8 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Remembering Paul Guilhard because he deserves being remembered. Why no one solved his murder is a tragedy in itself.
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8 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Ernest Borgnine, a true vibrant talented spirit throughout life. His works continue to entertain and the world is much better off for them.
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7 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@TheFix You are asking this of people who can barely find less than 140 characters without getting winded?
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