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Leon Tchaikovsky
@SexiestLyingWit
I am an assortment of keywords such as vampires, news, sports, weather, dogs, cats, local news, movies, TV, CIA, AFL-CIO, WGA, no soap radio, Groucho Marx, and
Earth, outside Los Angeles · http://soundsfunny.blogspot.com
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6m Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@TomCruise Now is the appropriate time to jump on a couch.
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8m Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@Denise Rich You're lucky, the United States renounces me being a citizen.
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3h Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@geneweingarten Most stolen bases allowed by a catcher in one game: 13 against Yankees catcher Branch Rickey, later Dodgers General Manager.
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6h Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Barney Frank is in first Congressional same sex marriage since George and Barbara Bush married.
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17h Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Remembering Paul Guilhard because he deserves being remembered. Why no one solved his murder is a tragedy in itself.
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21h Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Ernest Borgnine, a true vibrant talented spirit throughout life. His works continue to entertain and the world is much better off for them.
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7 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@TheFix You are asking this of people who can barely find less than 140 characters without getting winded?
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7 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@pariskennedy @SallyMullins1 And I never knew bullets could engage in intercourse.
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7 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Re: Thad McCotter: One thinks TV network programmers would want a TV series about a member of Congress and flatulence, or is that redundant?
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6 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: ‪#UnansweredHipHopQuestions‬ includes how often Alicia ‪#Sliverstone‬ drinks ‪#EarlGreyTea‬
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6 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending:‪#WorstWesternsEver‬ includes ‪#TheGood‬, the ‪#Bial‬ and The Ugly.
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5 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: ‪#WorstWesternsEver‬ includes the movie ‪#RepublicanSexualPositons‬
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5 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@TheFix Which is more impressive: that 63% don't know how the Supreme Court rules on health care or that 38% know who Rob Portman is?
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4 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Descriptions of the first glimpse of Higgs Boson: "Reminded me a bit of Gene Weingarten."
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2 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@celebritology I want to see a copy of Justin Bieber's diploma and make sure it is not from Kenya.
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2 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: Drinking lots of ‪#Brandy‬ probably does not guarantee ‪#SafeRidesHome‬
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2 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
It is sad when couples split over religions differences, such as when one spouse worships the other;s money.
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2 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@geneweingarten I would buy your Latvian hypochondria book except my Latvian is one of the few things that doesn't bother me.
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1 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Yuengling Porter beer is "for tavern & family trade" only. Hey, kids, I brought back some beer for the whole family?
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1 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@TheFix John Lennon's song "Power to the People" has renewed interest.
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1 Jul Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@TheFix That is because there is a force in the universe that makes things happen.
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30 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Sometimes I feel that a tweet is like a message sent in a bottle, a cracked bottle that sinks to the bottom of the ocean.
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30 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
When I read Supreme Court decisions, I can't help but think they need more cowbell.
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29 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending" ‪#TheBachelor‬ will be ‪#TomCruise‬ while ‪#RaisingAnOlympian‬ with soon-to-be former wife ‪#KatieHolmes‬. They are not ‪#PeopleLikeUs‬
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29 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@MonicaHesse It is entendent that sprites create new words in the English language.
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28 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
If only money contributed to politicians for their views on health care were contributed instead to health care itself...
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28 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@TheFix By a 5-4 vote, the Supreme Court has drafted Thomas Robinson. No, wait....
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28 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@geneweingarten Forget the politics, celebrate that the rainbow Oreo has six fillings!
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28 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes School books really should teach they if you imbibe too much, you may see Nessie or eat someone's face.
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28 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@ReliableSource The official death of bipartisan Congressional cooperation happened when they couldn't agree to be silly together.
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28 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
How bad do you have to be if a contempt body holds you in contempt?
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28 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Romney received $1,75 million contributions hours after SCOTUS ruling. People would rather contribute to Romney than to their health care.
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28 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@TheFix Her necklace matched her hair, while his tie matched his skin. ‪#fixcaption‬
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28 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@TheFix Obamacare: "If you're happy and you know it clap your hands..." ‪#fixcaption‬
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28 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@TheFix Smile now, but in a few seconds, you're going to smell something... ‪#fixcaption‬
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28 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
For those moving to Canada because they don't like Obamacare, have they got a surprise once they get to Canada.
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28 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: ‪#BornFabulous‬: ‪#Obamacare‬ which was born today as the law of the land.
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28 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
OK, so we legalized requiring buying health insurance, fine you if you'd don't, but no penalty if you don't pay the fine. Only in America.
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28 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
So it was only pot, not bath salts, that made some want "face time". If you are on pot and get the munchies, think and don't eat a face.
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26 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
In Tennessee, "I Want to Hold Your Hand" is a song about filth.
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26 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
If Democrats can't raise enough money to hold their nominating convention, I guess they will have to pass and not nominate anyone this year.
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26 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
The problem with gay Republican weddings is coming out to your friends that you are Republican.
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26 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes I may have to miss you tomorrow, but that may be just as well. I realized I took up 60% of your inquiries today. Sorry.
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26 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes Thanks. Got an email from Obama worried he may be the first Pres. outspent. Sad both campaigns only have so many millions...
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26 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes A four minute conversation? Is everything alright? I've known people who take longer just to complete one thought.
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26 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
There shall be a two hour "Spice Girls" musical, which works out, as it will cover their entire two hours of fame.
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26 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
I'll gladly leave the "Today" Show for just $9 million.
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26 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Charlie Sheen has retired, after a film career of being a dog.
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26 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Uggle has retired, after a film career of working like a dog.
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26 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: ‪#RememberTheTime‬ when ‪#SpiceGirls‬ were popular?
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26 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
So sad to hear that John Edwards and Rielle Hunter have split. If that couple can't make it, what couple can?
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25 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: ‪#BadPornTitles‬ include "‪#ParisHilton‬ and her ‪#SCOTUS‬"
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25 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Anyone who declines to marry Kristin Chenoweth is destined to have a breakdown.
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25 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Cher will tour with an impersonator. The tour will be billed as Cher and Cher A Like.
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25 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Charlie Sheen and Mel Gibson are filming a movie together. That caused the completion bond to double.
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23 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: ‪#DepressingToys‬ might include that ‪#JerrySandusky‬ action figure.
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22 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Give me the strength to accept the things I cannot change, unless I may gain super strength from either a spider bite or radioactivity.
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22 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Why are ‪#KatyPerryMovie‬ and ‪#NoPantyDay‬ trending at the same time? I do not believe there is any relation to each other, is there?
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21 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
If anyone says you aren't as funny as you used to be, explain that looking at the person who said that made you lose your humor perspective.
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20 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@geneweingarten Is shat so?
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20 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
No, 98 Degrees is not returning for another show; it is 98 degrees outside,
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20 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Let us never forget Jerry Manassey, LA's greatest bartender.
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20 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Someday people will be saying "remember the great classical actors like Kristen Stewart?"
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19 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@geneweingarten @bengreenman It is possible to have a no-hitter but not a shutout. The shutout with hits would be better for the team.
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14 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Marijuana is kosher for Passover. One way to enjoy the high holidays.
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14 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
I believe if we raised the salary for President of the United States from $200,000 to $210,000 we would get a much improved applicant pool.
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13 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: ‪#EnglishNamesForHindiFilm‬ ‪#AntoniosyAntonias‬
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12 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@JebBush You are right, Reagan and your father worked so much on bipartisanship, they would never be nominated today.
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12 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes Great column. It is Special.
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12 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Tara's tear's in my beer. ‪#ReplaceASongWithTara‬
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12 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Ta-ra-ra-boom-Tara ‪#ReplaceASongWithTara‬
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12 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@geneweingarten Even England's Prime Minister and wife can forget their child. At least the child wasn't left in a hot locked car.
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11 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
The New York Yankees are in first place. World harmony has been established.
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11 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: ‪#GirlsLoveItWhen‬ I sing songs from ‪#HighSchoolMusical2‬
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11 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Beware of mothers suddenly buying pet dingos.
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11 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
If you beat up a librarian for allowing "Fifty Shades" to be available, aren't you just proving the books' point?
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10 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Note to super villains: Pursue someone other than Mary Jane Watson Parker. Learn from the mistakes of those before you. ‪#Spiderman‬
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10 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Breaking news: Today's "Lilo" strip has a new joke. Honest. ‪#Lilo‬
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9 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
New York City public school lunches going meatless. Not for health reasons. Schools can't afford meat.
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8 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@annekornblut Bill Clinton says Hillary runs in 2016, but, then, you really need the word from a Hillary insider,
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8 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@celebritology We will stop comparing Jennifer Aniston to Angelina Jolie when Brad Pitt stops doing it.
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8 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: ‪#23MillionWereBornToBeSomeday‬ What? Everyone else is chicken liver?
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8 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@geneweingarten Klout say I am influential among "goat farmers in Greenland".
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8 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@geneweingarten Sorry, your least tweet was TLDR. Please keep tweets to 40 spaces, maximum.
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8 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes I love the part where it is said Joe Biden is turning people gay, Frankly, looking at Joe Biden helps me decide I am not gay,
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8 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes When someone is told their church prayed for them so they will not go to Hell,they are supposed to say "thanks"?
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8 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@AgnelinaJolie Shhh, I thought our '50 shades" relationship would always remain a secret.
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8 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: ‪#10ThingsIMustDoBeforeIDie‬ are see ‪#Hamgover3‬ ten times.
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7 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
What? There is a connection between stress and disease? NOW YOU FRIGGIN TELL ME THIS? Sorry. Deep breath NOW YOU FRIGGIN TELL ME THIS?
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7 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: ‪#BestBriitshBand‬ has to be ‪#Jay‬-Z
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7 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes We of the Squirrel Anti-Defamation League wish to speak with you....Of course, nuns, they are fair game to make fun of...
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7 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@chaneyj I love when "Mad Men" shows a 60s attitude that resonates differently today. What do they think when they are filming those?
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6 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@MonicaHesse MY TWEETS AREN'T ANNOYING, ARE TNEY? HUH? HUH? HUH? NOT AT ALL, RIGHT, HUH? HUH? HUH?
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6 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: ‪#ThingsWeSayWhileGettinArrest‬ include ‪#WeNotDatingIf‬ "the bitch set me up."
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6 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes That's it! I am naming my new book on econometric theory "50 Shades of Sex Secrets of Nuns".
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6 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@ReliableSource Jack Ambramoff may never play gold in DC again, but he can join the Dead Cat Helicopter Society.
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6 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
I made a cat helicopter, but the cat didn't seem too happy about it.
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5 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Capitol Press Room urinal explodes. Sadly, reporters did not notice the difference until days afterwards.
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5 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Why pop a pill in your mouth when you may spend $275 dripping it into your veins?
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5 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: ‪#TommyLasorda‬, ‪#HesIrish‬ which is ‪#ThingsThatBotherMe‬ because I don't think that's correct
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5 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes For $75 I'd tuck you in and read you Obama fund raising emails while holding a cat.
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5 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes Should we repeal the end of Section 9 of the Constitution? I wonder how much money the Fed could raise selling nobility titles?
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5 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Holland had taken the lead in dead cat aviation. America, can we allow this to continue?
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4 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Today is ‪#NationalHugYourCatDay‬. Tomorrow is ‪#NationalCatScratchFeverDay‬.
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4 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@geneweingarten At least he didn't do something creepy like tape bacon into the cat.
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4 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes I'll bring the Obama fund raising letter while holding a cat. Which parking lot would you like to meet? There, you made orange
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4 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes You think that is bad? My Internet Bible states Eve bit a Microsoft.
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3 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: ‪#ReasonsWeDontTalkAnymore‬ is because we waste time watching things like the ‪#MTVMovieAwards‬
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3 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@chaneyj You have friends. Remember, the people the people you are with have mechanized voices enhanced electronically. They are not real,.
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3 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: ‪#ILikeYour‬ ‪#TigerWoods‬ ‪#CreepyChildrensToy‬
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7:00 PM - 3 Jun 12 via web · Details
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2 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Who would have thought Thad McCotter would get more votes for President than signatures for his reelection campaign?
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1 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: ‪#TextsThatGetNoReply‬ include, Hi, I'm ‪#JohnEdwards‬
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1 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Oh, the now trending is ‪#MentionAFollowerYouWouldSmash‬. I thought is was ‪#MentionAFollowerYouBelieve‬ is Smashed. That's different.
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31 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: ‪#JohnEdwards‬, ‪#YeahThatsCute‬
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31 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
I hate it every time I get summoned for jury duty and John Edwards flirts with me.
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31 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: ‪#UnusualNamesForWhiteGirls‬ would have to include ‪#DefenseOfMarriageAct‬, ‪#Tom‬&Jerry and ‪#MarionBarry‬
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31 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@TheFix Obviously, it means American shoe factory jobs are flying to Greenland. Or, maybe not.
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31 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Sget. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Hooker ‪#ReplaceBandNamesWithHooker‬
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30 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: ‪#InappropriateWeddingSongs‬ would include ones that ‪#MentionSomeoneYouLove‬ other than your new spouse.
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30 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: ‪#InappropriateWeddingSounds‬ would include the ‪#LesMiserables‬ album.
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