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Tchaikovsky Sounds Funny: April 2014

Is this where I put in key words such as sex, lesbians, vampires, Christopher Lloyd and others things to which this blog do not pertain, but by putting them here, I may get hits from all the Christoper Lloyd lesbian vampire fans (and you know who you are)? This is the primarily humorous and occasionally rambling writings of Leon Tchaikovsky, humor writer. Enjoy.

Monday, April 21, 2014

I Am a Tweeting Twit


Remember,voters don't vote their economic interests, they vote on who doesn't hate America, as the TV tells them.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  3h
Remember, voters do vote their economic interests, they vote on who doesn't hate America, as the TV tells them.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  3h
Ds. also believe in patriotism, except we all know their leader is a Muslim socialist who flies the flag of that foreign nation Hawaii.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  3h
In this era of the great wealth gap, who are the voters selecting the party of the wealthy, the Republicans? Rs. have money and patriotism.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  3h
Stats. give Rs. 99% chance of continuing control of House. Chances of Obama programs getting through: only slightly better
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  3h
The last time a Dem. President had a Supreme Court nominees approved by a Republican Senate was 1895. If Rs take Senate they may take the SC
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 20
Remember, Senator Blumenethal, you criticize train safety, we have trains that will take issue with that,
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 20
If you thought you saw a giant rabbit today, you are either a kid celebrating Easter or an adult too much celebrating 4/20,
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 20
"Great, I've been dead for two days, and now I got to push some giant rock."
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 19
Chelsea Clinton's baby already has a 74% positive rating.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 18
I've seen a lot of the great bands. The young can still see some of them, if they only knew who they are.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 18
What nice neighbors! They are making sure the arrested man's stuff is OK by carrying it out to their apartments.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 18
"Yes, son, that man is going to prison." "But, mommy, he sold the good stuff."
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 18
I tell you, this place has gone downhill since Angelina Jolie moved out.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 18
Anyone looking for an apartment to rent?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 18
If you are on probation and yelling "you can't drug test me, I know my rights", you don't know your rights.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 18
The "it's must have been there when I moved in" argument doesn't work if it is sitting on your living room table.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 18
When is it time to get a new front door? After you refuse to let in your probation officer.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 18
For tonight's entertainment, we have the classic neighbor refusing to open the door for the probation officer argument.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 18
Of course, reality shows in Ireland, I hear, are fantastic and pay everyone union wages. Right? Just so long as they show @LadyGrew
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 18
Now that I have done a reality show, I may despise myself.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 18
My reality was I was on a reality show filmed a year ago and I forgot I was on it until someone said they saw it. Reality is too confusing.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 18
@thebobbieoliver If they cut the tags off underwear in pornos, then after shoots, the producers can't return them to the stores.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 17
The new thing in TV is to kill a character and then show the character isn't dead. I loved this concept back when it was called soap opera.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 17
Congratulations to Chelsea Clinton, who is now pregnant with our future President.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 17
My reaction to Mickey Rooney's estate valued at $18,000? The guy was loaded, man.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 17
You do realize that had President Clinton's secret service agent shot Mr. Met to death, Hillary would never have been elected NY Senator.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 17
The Secret Service agent who threatened to shoot Mr. Met to death must have been a Phillies fan.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 17
Oh, now I understand. He had eight wives, but not at the same time.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 17
I wish a rival studio head would spread a rumor about me in hopes of deflating my new contract. Best rumor I get is I burn the fries.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 17
If you get large facial tattoos, you really should avoid becoming a criminal,
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 15
My late wife's gynecologist just had her license suspended for not cleaning medical instruments between patients. We're a close knit town.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 15
For these who believe the world ends tonight, get a good rest and see you in the morning.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 15
Looked out my window to see the blood red moon yet I mistook it for my neighbor spanking herself.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 15
If you go to shoot Jews and you accidentally shoot Christians, do they make you turn in your white sheet?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 15
Saying a politician has "elective dysfunction" may only be funny just the first time.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 15
You may get a DUI sitting in an operable car. If you sit in an inoperable car, you avoid a DUI. Don't make car inoperable setting it on fire
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 13
I hear Coachella is popular. I did not realize there was so much interest in stage coaches.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 11
when you throw shoes at a politician, try to throw a matching pair in her size.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 11
I strongly suspect Chelsea Handler will not be named to take David Letterman's place.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 11
Why do so many gun advocates look like examples of why we need stronger gun control?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 10
I like those who argue that Jesus did not exist, but if he did, he had a wife.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 10
@scottdylan Thank you for listing me. You now join the CIA, Interpol,and the Flat World Society in listing me.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 10
Learned I am on the "Here's Ross" gag see;. Gag, as in people gag when they see me.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 9
"2 Broke Girls" is a rap for the season. Here is the season ending surprise: Lady Sybil dies.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 9
@DaGunnysWife Thank you. I seldom make what anyone thinks is a good point, including when I sharped a pencil.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 9
My friend doesn't understand online learning. He enrolled in the University of Phoenix. He moved to Phoenix.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 8
The news Al Sharpton was an FBI informant somehow makes me lose respect for both.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 8
I always tell boys in Connecticut that if they work hard someday they will play as good as the girls.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 8
RIP Mickey Rooney. RIP Jon Locke. Too much sadness.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 6
Disney has started a remake of an old classic. Yet, it will be Clinton vs. Bush, this time Hillary versus Jeb instead of Bill vs. George.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 6
Remember, we need to keep taxes high in order to subsidize WalMart so their prices will be lower.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 5
@joshcantalope Thank you for favoring-ating a tweet. I is grateful.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 5
The crisis in Crimea just got real. McDonald's there shut down all their restaurants.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 5
Pakistan accuses 9 month old baby at rock throwing with attempted murder, Oh, and the baby shot Mr. Burns.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 4
But, dad, I don't want to be President. I want to be a…painter!
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 4
Well, off to work at Uncle Bubba's Seafood and Oyster House, and,...
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 4
The candidate who spends the most money wins 91% of the time. Seriously, we no longer live in a democracy.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 4
Politics is no longer a game played just by the rich; it is not a game for the super-rich.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 4
Only in America can a candidate give $1.7 million to his own campaign with little notice because his opponent used $10 million of his own.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 4
George W. Bush is planning a series of Putin paintings…all shirtless.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 3
I think Tina Fey could replace David Letterman, Oh, wait, what was I thinking? There is no women's bathroom on that floor.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 3
GOP leaders: cut everything in budget EXCEPT military. Win midterm elections claiming Obama soft on military. Seriously, you all buying it?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 3
If you believe the Fort Hood shootings were caused by Obama but not guns, you probably watch Fox News.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 3
If y0u really believe that allowing the wealth to contribute even more money to candidates improves democracy, I have swampland to sell you.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 2
If you leave 4% on a $1,300 bar bill, you have too much money and not enough concern.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 1
So rats did not cause the bubonic plaque. Hug a rat today.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 1
I like the response to "English Only" by proposing Spanish as the official language. In a fluke, that bill passed. #AprilFoolsDay
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Apr 1
April as Poetry Month is really cools,If only it didn't begin on April Fools. #PoetryMonth
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 31
HALF of returning combat vets need psychological assistance. Don't say you favor cutting psych funding and then say you support veterans.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 31
Who's on first? No, seriously, the Mets want to know.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 31
Judge refuses to jail wealthy man because he wouldn't fare well in prison. Like all inmates are happily imprisoned?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 31
Baseball passed competitive walking as the national pastime after doping scandal: walkers found illegally chewing coca leaves.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 31
No, seriously, John Wayne asked to be called "Duke". He'd beat me up for the last joke except for the fact that…he's dead.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 31
John Wayne hated his stage name "John Wayne". He instead preferred his closest friends to call him "Duchess".
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 31
Spike a rumor: Red Bull does not contain bull semen, Unless, of course you put it in there.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 30
We can't swing a dead cat without people looking at you strangely
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 29
#DescribeYourCrushIn3Words See mug shot.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 29
In Dodgers baseball, one learns how to hit the curveball during an earthquake.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 28
If people want to cancel a show for what a fictions character said that was taken out of context, why can't we cancel Fox News for real?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 27
We need a word in the English language for when a company rewards an executive for skimming money from their lowest wage earners.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 26
Wow, a candidate passed a kidney stone in the middle of a 90 minute debate. Said pain was 10 of 10. Pain, though, was from being at a debate
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 26
New York Times is offered several online subscription services based on what sections you want. What if you just want the comics?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 26
Why did Kim Jong-Un get his hair cut just like mine?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 26
Voters from state getting the least Federal aide support programs going to states with the most need and voters who oppose the programs.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 26
Twitter stock value is sinking. They may have to cut back from 140 to 130 spaces.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 26
I hear Amsterdam has loverly tulip fields. I know that is where I would go in Amsterdam.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 26
Amelia Earhart has an official website. Wherever she is, she has computer access.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 26
CNN is now expanding its coverage on Amelia Earhart.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 26
@MonicaHesse Please tell Jimmy Carter "Leon" says hello.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 26
Everybody Poops, Except Martha Stewart #howtoruinachildrensbook
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 26
Heather Has Two Mommies and a Slave Boy Daddy #howtoruinachildrensbook
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 25
Soon will be the first Presidential primary that very well may determine the nomination: Who will win Sheldon Adelson's vote?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 25
Remember, when you're Secret Service and you're protecting the President, just not to pass out drunk. It gives the KGB one more laugh.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 25
@nealon35 Thank you for the favorite. TMZ will look into your favoring patterns and do an expose.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 25
Ten, Nine, Eight is All the Counting I Was Taught At School #HowToRuinAChildrensBook
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 25
TMZ Presents The True Story of the Three Little Pigs #RuinAChildrensBook
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 25
Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What Do You See, After You've Eaten Me? #RuinAChildrensBook
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 25
Green Eggs and Spamalot #RuinAChildrensBook
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 25
Where the Wild Things Are Posing Naked for Cameras #RuinAChildrensBook
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 25
Waterrship Down by Korean Missile #RuinAChildrensBook
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 25
Winne the Everyone Poohs #RuinAChildrensBook
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 25
Charlotte's Webbed Feet #RuinAChildrensBook
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 25
State Senator who wants a Judge to approve sex for a woman getting a divorce: What Judge wants a phone call at 2 am?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 25
In the remastered "Seinfeld" series, the characters Jerry Seinfeld, in season two, is killed off.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 24
There is a proposal to ban legislators accepting envelopes of cash. Suitcases of case, of course, are alright.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 23
Yeah, Josh Charles, go ahead and demand a hefty raise next season. What are they going to about it?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 23
The Vatican's cocaine stash has been seized. Things are going to get crazy at the next Papal pronouncements.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 23
Today, England celebrates Lord Westchester Day, named in honor of the man who rounded up all the Irish snakes and sent them back to Ireland.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 23
Remember, March 23-30 is Russian American Month.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 23
@MonicaHesse Where I come from, sour milk from a tethered goat is revered.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 21
@ahalfslovak Thank you for the retweet. More members of Congress read my retweets than we watch them on C-SPAN;
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 21
I have got to stop looking at sales figures of my works and feeling sorry for the people buying them.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 20
Of course Harvard beat Cincinnati. This was this the College Bowl, right?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 20
Mary-Kate Olsen states she just learned to use a hair brush last week. Next week she hopes to learn how to use a toothbrush.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 20
I don't know what happens when we die, and I mourn the death of anyone, yet hopefully Fred Phelps has now learned a lot and is a good soul.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 20
If you promise to picket an Amish funeral where I am and not show up, I will promise to picket your non-funeral and not show up.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 20
The Chicken from Hell was made extinct by the Sandersaurus from Kentucky.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 20
C-SPAN changed Congress. Now Members of Congress speak primarily to the cameras to be watched by imaginary viewers.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 20
The 1893 Panic that collapsed banks and railroads and drained the government of its gold created lower unemployment rates we've seen.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 20
C-SPAN is 35 years old. They will celebrate by giving out a present to their 100th all time viewer.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 18
The weird part about my newspaper being delivered underneath snow was it didn't snow.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 18
Schools banning things causing bullies to bully: So, it is the victim's fault they are bullied? As Teddy Roosevelt would say, "bully".
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 18
@geneweingarten Amtrak Connect does not permit access to this. Only Amtrak equates Physics to porn.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 17
Gravity waves in dark matter allow all atoms in known universe to shoot out faster than the speed of light. Got it. This creates a TV series
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 17
"Irish kiss me, I'm French".
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 17
I think I just qualified for a Barbie Girl Scout badge. I am not proud of this.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 17
I have got to stop telling women on airplanes that my name is Clauco,
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 17
Love watching the river turning green. Wait, I don't live in Chicago….
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 17
Edwin Edwards: No dead girl or live boy found in his bed. Seven women in his bed didn't stop him from being elected.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 17
No, that's not the green beer talking, that's an earthquake. Happy St. Patrick's Day, California!
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 16
Weird statistics: Either crime is increased among the young or it is reported more. Or the statistics are wrong. If right, why is this?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 16
@BestTattoos_ Thank you for favoring a tattoo. I may have to have that tweet tattooed inside my lip.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 16
I must confess, before today, I never heard of an inner lip tattoo,
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 16
I wonder if the family of Fred Phelps will be upset if there are protesters at his funeral?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 16
My condolences to friends and family of Wayne Knight whose fake death was reported on the Internet, including Facebook news.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 16
For those calling Christie the "front runner", CNN poll puts him tied for 6th. Rand Paul, now that's a frontrunner.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 16
First, #mcconelling now #Reaganing  Where does it stop? #WarrenHardinging ?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 15
"Hunger Games" is filmed in Georgia, a place where running around the woods killing people in not something considered unusual.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 15
My views are the responsibility of Fox News. Feel free to sue them for all imagined damages.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 15
Humor is the mind processing two incongruent thoughts: like Ted Cruz and the truth.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 15
http://Washingtonpost.com  gets almost 19 million unique, and 2 ordinary, visitors a day. And none of them wipe their shoes off first.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 15
Today's the day people imagine they see snakes and then they drive them to an imaginary ocean where they swim to England.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 15
Is today Leftover Pi day?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 14
I left my coat at Starbucks and accidentally instead grabbed some ugly fur thing. I tossed it.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 14
TV: We found where the suspect was hiding from a piece of dust. Reality: We have no idea where a big airplane is.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 14
i would re-brand the McConnell smiling ad with "Yakety Sax". #mcconelling
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 14
"Three's Company" starring Barack Obama, Joe Biden, and John Boehner, with Mitch McConnell as Mr. Roper. #mcconelling
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 14
"Justified": A U.S. Marshal attempts to clean up Kentucky starting with the senior Senator. #mcconnellling
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 14
"Two and a Half Men" starring Ashton Kutcher, Jon Cryer, and Mitch McConnell. #mcconelling
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 14
Anyone feel like joining me in some #mcconelling later on?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 14
Taylor Swift broke up with me and stopped being one of my followers. I feel so sad. I feel like writing a song about it to cheer myself.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 14
@sutterink Great article with excellent points. Although I think Mrs. Google is mad at you.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 14
New study shows women get 30% of all speaking roles in Hollywood. Sorry, I just can't find a joke to form around that statistic,
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 14
OK, we agree not to go to war so long as neither side shoots down a plane. On second thought, make that two planes. (Does a drone count?)
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 13
@BestLyricsSwift Taylor Swift. Thank you for following me, I promise never to do anything to turn our relationship into song lyrics.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 13
We were so backwards, we could only get scared on Thursdays the 13th.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 13
How many members of Congress smoke pot? Judging solely on their behaviors: All of them.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 13
Ever hear music and wonder, is this going to be "Sweet Home Alabama" or "Werewolves of London"?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit  Mar 13
Older than you've ever been, younger than you'll ever be.

 
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