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Tchaikovsky Sounds Funny: June 2012

Is this where I put in key words such as sex, lesbians, vampires, Christopher Lloyd and others things to which this blog do not pertain, but by putting them here, I may get hits from all the Christoper Lloyd lesbian vampire fans (and you know who you are)? This is the primarily humorous and occasionally rambling writings of Leon Tchaikovsky, humor writer. Enjoy.

Sunday, June 03, 2012

That's Some Sweet Tweet



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Leon Tchaikovsky
@SexiestLyingWit
I am an assortment of keywords such as vampires, news, sports, weather, dogs, cats, local news, movies, TV, CIA, AFL-CIO, WGA, no soap radio, Groucho Marx, and
Earth, outside Los Angeles · http://soundsfunny.blogspot.com
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18m Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: #ILikeYour #TigerWoods #CreepyChildrensToy
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22h Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Who would have thought Thad McCotter would get more votes for President than signatures for his reelection campaign?
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1 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: #TextsThatGetNoReply include, Hi, I'm #JohnEdwards
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1 Jun Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Oh, the now trending is #MentionAFollowerYouWouldSmash. I thought is was #MentionAFollowerYouBelieve is Smashed. That's different.
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31 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: #JohnEdwards, #YeahThatsCute
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31 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
I hate it every time I get summoned for jury duty and John Edwards flirts with me.
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31 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: #UnusualNamesForWhiteGirls would have to include #DefenseOfMarriageAct, #Tom&Jerry and #MarionBarry
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31 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@TheFix Obviously, it means American shoe factory jobs are flying to Greenland. Or, maybe not.
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31 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Sget. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Hooker #ReplaceBandNamesWithHooker
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30 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: #InappropriateWeddingSongs would include ones that #MentionSomeoneYouLove other than your new spouse.
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30 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: #InappropriateWeddingSounds would include the #LesMiserables album.
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30 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Justit Bieber #ReplaceBandNamesWithTits
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30 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Madonna and the E Street Bad #ReplaceBandNamesWithTits
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30 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
The Nitty Titty Grit Band #ReplaceBandNamesWithTits
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30 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: #WhyDoHoesThink #ThatSexMadeYou. Maybe you were made in a petri dish.
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30 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
The Average Tits Band #ReplaceBandNamesWithTits
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29 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Scientists theorize the Harappan culture may have been destroyed by climate change. Pseudo-scientists argue that it really was overtaxation.
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29 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
It is alright for a Republican politician to quote a late labor leader just so long as the quote is made up.
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29 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes Sadly, Hollywood press agents are attempting to arrange to have their clients' faces eaten.
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29 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@ReliableSource It is not weird for a Lt. Governor to be dating. Why, I can remember when the President of the United States dated.
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29 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: #SignsofaStrugglingStripper include her being on #LSD and tries to eat your face.
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28 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: If #MeanGirls were your #longestrelationship, maybe you are part of the #RecklessandTheBrave
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28 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Hey, I am a white guy. Maybe I can get elected President, right Mitt?
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28 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: #DontComeOverIf #JustinBiber is your idea of #TopSongsIDHaveSexTo
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28 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Thistle Hotels have Vegetarian Society accreditation, although hopefully for serving more than thistle.
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27 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: #ThingsYouJustDONTDo during #GhettoChurchTestimonials is tell how #BBQ is #ThatsTheBestFeeling
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27 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: #WhenYouNeedSex you will find instead your partner is watching the #Indy500
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27 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Brother Can You Spare a Nipple #ReplaceSongTitlesWithNipple
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27 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Nipple-lodeon Presents... #ReplaceMovieTitlesWithNipple
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27 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Attack of the 50 Nipple Woman #ReplaceMovieTitlesWithNipple
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27 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Nipple Poppins #ReplaceMovieTitlesWithNipple
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27 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
The Green Nipple #ReplaceMovieTitlesWithNipple
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27 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Three Nipples in a Jeep #ReplaceMovieTitlesWithNipple
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27 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
The Nipple Is a Lonely Hunter #ReplaceMovieTitlesWithNipple
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27 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
If Bloomberg bought the New York TImes, I am sure there finally would be decent coverage of the Mayor's office.
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25 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@MarionBarry Yeah, the Pollack set you up. By the way, Polish Americans would be a better way to state it.
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25 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: #LiesMenTellWomen is that #MenInBlack3 is a good movie, (Just kidding, haven't seen it yet).
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25 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes I will gladly buy all of these for you, if only I could qualify for a credit card. My cat can get one, but I can't.
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25 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Why is it when I do not tweet, I gain followers, and when I tweet, I lose followers? What is wrong with you stupid thumb sucking followers?
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25 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: #ThingsIAmGratefulFor includes #JennaJameson
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25 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@JohnEdwards Don;t assume you're winning because you're flirting with a jurist. Maybe she likes conjugal visits.
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24 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@fakegeneweingaren @geneweingarten One can parody parodying a parody, aparodyently.
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21 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
A non-practicing vegetarian and Grand Theft Auto fan is someone who only eats the meat of animals he runs over.
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21 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending:#GrandTheftAutoTaughtMe to respect #NationalVegetarianWeek I actually am a non-practicing vegetarian
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20 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Remember, tattoos are forever,, temporary tattoos are temporary, and convincing a drunk friend you have her tattoo removed: priceless.
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20 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@AndySamborg @JasonSuderkis Women rule now. Welcolm to the new reality.
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18 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: #OneWordThatDescribesHer : #TerroristThreat
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18 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
What? Honey badger did not win a Best Meme nomination? That's OK, he don't care, he don't give a sheet.
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18 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
New evidence suggests JFK and Marilyn Monroe did not have an affair. Wow, I guess you can no longer believe everything you read in a tabloid
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18 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Gay couple may divorce but cannot marry in MD. Leads to new joke: If my brother divorces his MD. husband are they still brothers in WVA?
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17 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
I am confused. Is a metrosexual Black Abe Lincoln supposed to be a good thing or a bad thing?
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17 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
I drink so much office I actually died months ago and the caffeine is keeping my body going.
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17 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
So, the way we chose our national leader is debating Jeremiah Wright and Joseph Smith?
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15 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
#TillDeathDoUsPart Forget the issue of gay marriage, the future debate will be whether people may marry their Facebook pages.
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15 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Grover Norquist was going to act in "Atlas Shrugged Part Two" until he feared the movie was going over budget.
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15 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
New lesson in Freshmen Economics: Do not accidentally lose $2 billion. Someone will notice.
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15 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: #WhatAWomanNeeds is #NationalChocolateChipDay or probably just anything chocolate.
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14 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Urban greeting: I hope all you mothers had a great day yesterday.
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11 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Romney now claims he only forced cut the hair of a kid he thought was gay only because he thought the cut make the kid look mah-velous.
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6 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Ron Paul wins 22 of 25 delegates today. I guess the race is over and the only question remaining is when Mitt Romney will withdraw?
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5 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
So that is why salespeople in stores keep trying to give me away.Today is Free Comic Day.
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2 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Have another friend who told of her pleasant dream where she went to bed with Charles Sheen and when she work up she was with Kathy Bates.
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2 May Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
A friend of mine told me she had a nightmare where she went to bed with Charlie Sheen and when she woke up she was in bed with Kathy Bates.
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29 Apr Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Maybe the Supreme Court will approve ObamaCare if we instead just start calling it RomneyCare.
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24 Apr Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: #HowWillIKnowIAm #16and Pregnant? Well, first, check your age on your birth certificate...
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24 Apr Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Hollywood is planning Titanic 2. George Clooney saves the ship from sinking.
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5 Mar Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: #SometimesYouHaveTo #DrawSomething showing a #MiddleFingerUp
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5 Mar Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Google: Just because I search for Dick's Sporting Goods does not mean I want ads for male massage parlors.
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3 Mar Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: #FirstTimeISmoked everything turned into #HappyPlatypusDay
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2 Mar Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Snooki's baby is due the date some Mayans predicted the world will revise into a new form. They may have been right after all.
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2 Mar Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
A device has been invented that can silence speech. Orders from spouses are enormous. http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/blogpost/post/new-japanese-gun-can-silence-speech/2012/03/02/gIQANKDymR_blog.html?wprss=rss_world&tid=sm_twitter_washingtonpost
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2 Mar Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: #SinceImBeingHonest #RushLimbaugh is #DespicableMe2
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2 Mar Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Since a person can vote both a SAG and an AFTRA ballot, I am surprised no one advising I vote Yes on one and No on the other. #SAG #AFTRA
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2 Mar Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
I seriously was going to quit Twitter but a late vote made it 1-0 I stay. Thanks for nothing. You try being constantly funny for one reader.
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1 Mar Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
As I look back, I have only one conclusion: Situation normal.
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1 Mar Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Sexiest Lying Wit has fallen. He left no sound. So long, and thanks for the fish. No, seriously, that salmon was great.
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1 Mar Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
The early vote returns on whether I should retire from tweeting are 0 to 0. I await election analysis from talking heads.
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1 Mar Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Seriously, who cares if Stephen Hawking went to a sex club. Does it really make a difference in your life knowing if this is true or not?
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1 Mar Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
OK, followers, time to vote: Shall I retire from tweeting? Please don't all vote at once and jam the system.
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29 Feb Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes Never go into politics. It may turn your children into reality TV stars.
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29 Feb Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: #BadFirstDateQuestions would include "do you know if one of us is the reason #SnookiIsPregnant"?
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29 Feb Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: #ClassicBlackMovie is that one with #MarciaBrady and where #SnookiIsPregnant
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29 Feb Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@celebritology At least Snooki has film to review to narrow down who the father is.
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29 Feb Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@geneweingarten I can't think straight when reading this. It is good that heterosexuals have finally won the right to live in gay areas.
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29 Feb Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
When a male politico wants rules so a woman is fully informed about family planning, is he assuming the woman never thought about it before?
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29 Feb Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes Evertime I tweet about how I burst over the mudslide cake I eat before Pirates games, I create a job at Homeland Security.
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29 Feb Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Great news if true, that North Korea will choose butter over guns. Hard to eat guns. Butter though does have a lot of fat and can harm...
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29 Feb Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
I am beginning to doubt those Sadie Hawkins marriage proposals are not all going to come rushing in throughout the day.
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29 Feb Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: #Its2012WhyYouStill #NorthKorea still #NorthKorea?
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29 Feb Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@RyanSeachrist If this helps any, I seriously doubt those really were Kim Jong Il's ashes.
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28 Feb Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@GennyBanic33543 Thank you for thinking of me for your spam. What is a site for singles? Single whats? Slices of cheese?
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28 Feb Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@MonicaHesse Why is it of all the free stuff they gave out at the Oscars, I am most disturbed by the free In and Out burgers?
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28 Feb Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@MonicaHesse Well, remind me never to go into a bathroom stall with another person in front of you.
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28 Feb Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes Can we trust a man who does not have the fire in his belly to set his hair on fire in order to become President?
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28 Feb Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Why do people care about the sex lives of fictional characters where sex is not a key element to the story? Inquiring minds want to know?
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28 Feb Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@celebritology Basil Rathbone regretted how Holmes was written as belittling Watson. We should all give Watson and Lucy Liu some slack.
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28 Feb Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes In Penna., there is Egg-gate about serving day old eggs, which server denies. Others eat two month old eggs...
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3:42 PM - 28 Feb 12 via web · Details
28 Feb Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
The National Institute for Civil Discourse seeks more civility in discussions, but what do those rat bastards really know?
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28 Feb Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
If a transsexual has a transvaginal ultrasound, would that be a tranny getting a tranny?
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28 Feb Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
"Bully", a movie about being bullied, is being bullied by MPAA who insist this film meant for kids have an R rating so kids can't see it.
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28 Feb Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Looking forward to tomorrow, the traditional day when my stalkers ask to marry me.
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28 Feb Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: #TheThingIHateMost is #FreePancakes because I love paying top price for them.
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28 Feb Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
If atoms shrink, we are like sand. All the sands of the universe fit into one small unit before the Big Bang, leading to a CBS series.
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28 Feb Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
If #twitterdoesntexist then neither does this hashtag.
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27 Feb Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes Romney remembers events upon his conception. Life and memory begins at conception. Many conservatives will tell you that.
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27 Feb Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: #AngelinaJolie's leg is a #GirlGoneWild which is #OneThingYou ShouldntDo
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27 Feb Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@geneweingarten You aren't watching the right TV programs. There is this new comedy trio series. Rick Santorum is hilarious.
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26 Feb Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: #ThingsPeopleHaveToStopDoing namely watching the #Oscars
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26 Feb Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Did I ever mention the Academy Awards statue looks just like my uncle Vladimir?
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26 Feb Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: #BlackMomsCatchPhrase: #NapoleonDynamite
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25 Feb Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
I hope I win a Spirit Award for Best Taper of a Frayed Electric Wire That Otherwise Would Have Electrocuted Angelina Jolie
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25 Feb Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: #WordsToLiveBy: #RIPFacebook
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25 Feb Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Wives rejecting sex with Virginia Republican legislators won't work. It will take gay prostitutes rejecting them sex.
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25 Feb Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes Reagan was right about killer trees. Romney knows when trees are no longer the right height, they are taking over the planet.
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24 Feb Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@antAday86 I am sorry, I was just pulling your leg, which is better than amputating a toe. #savejohnstoe
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24 Feb Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes "Chris Christie sex tape"
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24 Feb Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@celebritology Tell Rashida Jones that Leon says hello and if you give her the $10 I owe her, I'll pay you back.
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24 Feb Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
"Elected to be the villain and certified to be the menace...Welcome 2 Detroit" #fixplaylist
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24 Feb Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
"I'm standing on a corner in Winslow Arizona" looking for someone to register to vote. #fixplaylist
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24 Feb Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
"Old Michigan seems like a young's man dream", as sung by Ron Paul. #fixplaylist
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