Which Clinton is Having Sex and What Babies Have to Say

I am used to getting fund raisings from President Clinton asking for money for fighting AIDs in Africa. I was a little disturbed by his most recent fund raising letter, asking for money to help pay for a wedding.

A man walks into a talent agency and announces “I’ve got the smartest eight month old baby ever. This baby already knows all about computer and modern culture. Let me show you.” He turns to the baby and asks “name an Internet search engine and name the hottest music act of today.” The baby responds “goggle gaga”. The agent throws them out of his office. The man wonders, “what went wrong?” The baby responds “Yahoo Justine Bieber?”

I don’t resent someone who shows me reality. I resent someone who takes away my ability to dream.

Dealing with Monsters in the Closet

It is upsetting to have had a hit man as an Uncle. His nephew told him there was a monster in his closet. His uncle opened the closed door, fired two shots, and announced the monster was dead. The nephew still couldn’t sleep.

Everybody Poops

A man is brought before a Judge for arrangement. The Judge asks “this says you defecated in a meeting in City Council.”

“That correct, your honor”, the accused replied, “but I was only doing what City Council requested.”

“What do you mean”, asked the Judge?

“Well, I asked City Council about an ordinance, and the Council President said he couldn’t give a crap. So, I told him I could help him out on that…”