Is It Fine for the President to Have Sex Before Playing Golf?

Bush claims he was misunderstood when he stated he gave up golf while the war continues. He insists he has indeed given up golf, and what he plays now is a game called Freedom Sphericals.

I heard the rumors about the Carey-Cannon marriage, and I can reassure everyone that I have checked them out, and they are not true. Drew Carey and Dyan Cannon are not married. I don’t even think they’re dating.

I had a real life interesting observation. In a three hour plane flight, a baby cried the entire time. I fly a lot and I know that happens, especially as I am sure that being on a plane can be traumatic for a baby. Yet, when I found interesting was, the baby cried nonstop the entire time. Just as the plane landed, the baby stopped crying and fell asleep. What I found interesting was several people near the baby all simultaneously turned to the baby…and then they all started clapping in appreciation.

A coach was telling an athlete not to have sex the night before an athletic meet, claiming that sex physically drains athletes and they can’t perform as well the next day. The athlete responded “that’s a fallacy”, to which the coach replied “that’s right. So keep your fallacies out of vagina-icies.”

A problem with too many athletes is that they eat, sleep, and breathe their sport, but they won’t exercise for and practice it.

Fast Sex, Fast Food, and Slower Horses

In one of the most bizarre incidents in Presidential campaign speeches, Hillary Clinton, prior to the Kentucky Derby, decided to relate her campaign to a horse entered in the race, Eight Belles. Barack Obama supporters now hope this indeed is a foretelling of the Clinton campaign, as the Eight Belles run ended in a second place finish and being put of its misery.

A study at Penn State Erie discovered that the best sex is fast sex. Of course, that is what they would find in Erie, Pennsylvania. It’s so cold there, naked people want to finish as quickly as they can so they can get their clothes back on.

I met an alcoholic who told me he discovered the highest level of consciousness he’s ever found: it’s a state called sobriety. He could see and feel things he had never been able to experience before.

California’s new Truth in Advertising law has already caused one fast food chain to change its name. It will now be known as Dine In ‘N’ Barf Out.