Fast Sex, Fast Food, and Slower Horses

In one of the most bizarre incidents in Presidential campaign speeches, Hillary Clinton, prior to the Kentucky Derby, decided to relate her campaign to a horse entered in the race, Eight Belles. Barack Obama supporters now hope this indeed is a foretelling of the Clinton campaign, as the Eight Belles run ended in a second place finish and being put of its misery.

A study at Penn State Erie discovered that the best sex is fast sex. Of course, that is what they would find in Erie, Pennsylvania. It’s so cold there, naked people want to finish as quickly as they can so they can get their clothes back on.

I met an alcoholic who told me he discovered the highest level of consciousness he’s ever found: it’s a state called sobriety. He could see and feel things he had never been able to experience before.

California’s new Truth in Advertising law has already caused one fast food chain to change its name. It will now be known as Dine In ‘N’ Barf Out.