A Twit Will Tweet a Twitted Tweet

 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 1h
In Senegal, milk chocolate topped with dark chocolate shavings and then topped with vanilla is called an Obama. Trivia to impress friends.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 2h
Mike Cisco:. May California treat you far better than nothing.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 2h
Well played, Bobbie Oliver, well played. RT @thebobbieoliver "To love me is to retweet me."
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 2h
Sanford is making a comeback in Carolina? All this time I thought Terry Sanford died in 1998.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 4h
@MichelleShocked You're right. God hates fags. Those cigarettes will hurt your health.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 4h
My condolences to friends and fans of Lil Wayne whose death was falsely reported on the Internet.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 11h
To the person who wrote "Michelle Shocked is a positive gay role model", we need to sit down. I have some bad news...
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 12h
Of course, the reality is the great void may hate us all equally.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 12h
@MonicaHesse 1.) Yes. 2.) I am older than you. I am shocked Michelle Shocked doesn't know God hates us all equally.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 18 Mar
I heard a naughty word on the "Today" show. Shocking. Then I switched to cable where naughty words live free.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 18 Mar
It is true Ian McKellen correctly stated he is marrying Patrick Stewart.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 18 Mar
@SherylSandberg Oh, it's "Lean In', not "Leon In". My mistake.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 18 Mar
Sea cruises are awful. Everyone gets sick, the toilets don't work, and there are tigers in the lifeboats.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 18 Mar
Marco Rubio on how to win: "We don't need a new idea. The idea is called America." What, Romney was un-American?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 18 Mar
Gay marriage has more support than Congress. If you are a member of Congress at a party seeking approval, tell people you're gay.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 18 Mar
Gay marriage now has higher support than NBC shows.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 18 Mar
Reporters are becoming like dinosaurs. The bigger ones devour the little ones and they are growing feathers.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 18 Mar
RNC report tells Republicans to have more "acceptance" of gays. Let them cut your hair.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 18 Mar
Whoever started this rumor that Emma Watson will star in "50 Shades of Grey" probably did so in order to be punished.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 18 Mar
So Obama looks like Satan on "The Bible". Better than when Satan used to be President.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 18 Mar
When will I ever learn? I don't tweet for days and I gain followers. I return tweeting and I lose followers.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 18 Mar
@GiseleNoel Thank you for the ad. One of us is spelling our name backwards.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 12 Mar
If his Irish eyes are smiling, it is because he pickpocket a Brit's wallet.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 12 Mar
Before I die, I want people to know I left clues to buried treasures in coded messages in all my writings.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 12 Mar
George P Bush is entering politics. Is there a George Bush with every middle initial in the alphabet?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 11 Mar
"Does the DC Metro go to Disney Word?" #OverheardWeirdComments
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 11 Mar
"Does anyone have two tens for a five?" #OverheardWeirdComments
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 11 Mar
"I'm not sure she was breathing when I left. I'll check that when I get back." #OverheardWeirdComments
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 11 Mar
"I have blood in my urine, that's normal, right? #OverheardWeirdComments
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 11 Mar
11 people shot on a DC corner. Why does one need a semi automatic weapon? These are offensive not defensive weapons. You defend I'm offended
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 10 Mar
How many people are trying to figure out why their clocks are two hours different from the time on their computers?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 10 Mar
Now trending: Discussing our @SpongeBobMemories are among the #ReasonsWeStoppedTalking
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 10 Mar
I am one of the top 100 Amazon Fiction Humor Screenplay authors. Out of 102 total titles, I am in the top 100. Yeah!
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 9 Mar
Remember, you lose two hours sleep tonight. One due to the clock change and another worrying about the lost hour of sleep.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 7 Mar
Every time I post a suicide note, people comment how it is my funniest material yet,
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 7 Mar
Every child killed in the Ct shootings was hit from 3 to 11 bullets. Maybe I am sensitive because a friend teachers there. Maybe I just care
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 7 Mar
If you think gun control is a solution in search of a problem, search Newtown, Ct.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 7 Mar
What? The new Tastykake Dreamies look suspiciously like Twinkies? I am sure that is just your imagination.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 7 Mar
@geneweingarten I know Name's brother Same Here. I wonder if Same also became a writer.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 7 Mar
@geneweingarten I have seen a poop rock. I may now be able to die knowing my life has been fulfilled.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 7 Mar
@geneweingarten Do you have my correct address? It is 408 Dirksen Building.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 7 Mar
Rumplestiltskin awoke, saw Senate Republicans defending civil liberties & a Democratic President strong against terrorism, so he's dreaming?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 7 Mar
It must be in the stars: #StarWars and @Starbucks are both trending together.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 7 Mar
The Chinese government hack the NY TImes and Washington Post. Ironically, that is the one day lunatics did not find the writings "commies".
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 7 Mar
The glorious Chinese government has not hacked my Twitter account, honest.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 6 Mar
@TheFix #ObamaIsMyMomma No, that doesn't work. #ReidIsMySeed No, that also doesn't work. #HidinWithBiden is better, but what does it mean?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 6 Mar
Accept a free condom in Brooklyn, the police may suspect you're a prostitute and arrest you. Talk about a lack of coordinated city services
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 6 Mar
@TedCruz Please read this tweet, please,read this tweet on the Senate floor!
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 6 Mar
@TheFix They are going to boost the excitement by having zombies attack...no, wait, sorry, those are just more U.S. Senators.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 6 Mar
@TheFix Yeah, just wait until you hear what women in Oklahoma carry, and where they carry it.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 6 Mar
An audit of the Vatican financial records has discovered the College of Cardinals do not own the St. Louis baseball team.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 6 Mar
@RachelMan2 I guess she wasn't happy to see me, as that was a gun in her pants.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 6 Mar
Is it a coincidence that both #WhitePeopleActivities and #StandWithRand are trending simultaneously?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 6 Mar
@MonicaHesse There is a glaring mis-print. They listed your age as much older than you really are.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 6 Mar
@MonicaHesse Yeah, it was bad, but it was spontaneous. I hear these real Broadway song writers sometimes have an hour to write their lyrics.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 6 Mar
@MonicaHesse So you got to hang out, With Monica Hesse tomorrow, come what may, see what we all have to say.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 6 Mar
@MonicaHesse When I'm stuck in a day, that's only one shade of shade, I just stick out what I want to say, and grin and say "oh, vey".
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 6 Mar
@MonicaHesse Monica Hesse clears all the cobwebs, but with sorrow, not until the spiders are none.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 6 Mar
@MonicaHesse The Baltimore Sun'll come out tomorrow cost you your bottom dollar. The Post, I love you, You're always the way to stay.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 6 Mar
If I just have @geneweingarten tweet the word "poop" once a day, no one will realize his account was hacked.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 6 Mar
No, I can't send you women photos of @geneweingarten 's wiener. I don't think he has one I think he is more of a cheeseburger guy,
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 6 Mar
I hacked the  @geneweingarten Twitter account. It he says anything funny, I'm taking the credit.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 6 Mar
The number of invitations for commencement addresses planning on being sent to Rand Paul is decreasing.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 6 Mar
@geneweingarten Some have greatness linked to them, others have the forcible touching of naked buttocks linked to them.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 6 Mar
Snickers, the official food of the United States Senate filibusters.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 6 Mar
Rand Paul's filibuster is nothing. Paul Ryan once ran a filibuster in under three hours.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 6 Mar
@TheFix @petridishes If people are wearing zebra stripes, then ponies should wear human hats.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 6 Mar
@petridishes I'm safe. At first I thought you wanted to take us "idiots" behind the barn. Remember: Don't look a gift pony wearing a cap.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 6 Mar
I wonder if the Koch brothers will now give Rep. Steve Stockman cancer.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 6 Mar
Great, "nightmare bacteria" is going to give me nightmares. Not even Superman or Spiderman can kill it. We're doomed.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 6 Mar
Wow, the Bolshoi ballet is just as violent as organized crime, only with more jumps and twirls.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 6 Mar
@MonicaHesse The worst part of a Wednesday snow storm is when you realize Monica Hesse's conversations have moved to Thursdays.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 6 Mar
Now trending: #WhatIDoWhenIAmAlone is think of #FictionalCharactersIWantToMarry
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 5 Mar
@SexiestLyingWit It is only madness if you respond to yourself when you talk to yourself.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 5 Mar
@SexiestLyingWit Is talking to yourself a sign of madness?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 5 Mar
The word is the Cardinals are nearly completed with their fantasy baseball draft.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 5 Mar
Re: "The Way". Who cast Emilio Estevez as Martin Sheen's son? No way will an audience buy that.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 5 Mar
My blog is oddly popular in Russia. I fear KGB staff read it believing it has coded messages. Oh, the eagle sets flight at dawn.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 5 Mar
If I were a conspiracy theorist, I would suspect Obama owns lots of stock in gun manufacturers.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 5 Mar
If Obama is a Muslim socialist, he did a poor job in saving Bin Laden and thousands of al Qaeda and he messed up keeping stock prices low.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 5 Mar
If a Member of Congress falls during the snow storm, does the Member not stop talking?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 5 Mar
The Cardinals have announced, while they have not selected a new Pope, they have brokered a new Congressional spending plan.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 5 Mar
"Saturday Night Live" has confirmed that Hugo Chavez is still dead.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 4 Mar
Now trending: #InitialsOfSomeoneYouCareAbout include  POTUS, USS, H of R, WaPo, and ESPN.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 4 Mar
You know, if they add some zombis to "The Bible", it would improve their ratings.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 4 Mar
I believe virgin births are possible, My mother is a virgin, Right, mom?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 4 Mar
@MonicaHesse AsTexas Gov. Miriam Ferguson pointed out, "English was good enough for Jesus Christ".
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 4 Mar
Wow, I did not know there is a sequel to TV series"The Bible" called "The Book of Mormon". I shall have to see that play.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 4 Mar
Does anyone know where I may find an autographed first edition of "The Bible" on the Internet?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 4 Mar
@petridishes Remember, Pop Tarts don't kill. Laughing to death over a Pop Tart eaten into the shape of a gun kills.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 4 Mar
#ReplacePlayTtilesWithDRAGON How to Train Your DRAGON (No, wait....)
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 4 Mar
Don't spoil the ending, but I hear "The Bible" ends similar to how "Dr. Strangelove" ends.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 4 Mar
"THe Bible" premiered on cable last night. I hear the book is better.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 3 Mar
@geneweingarten The Post did not run the first two panels. It makes less sense even without the first two panels.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 3 Mar
Creationism teaches us that the first person who ate a chicken responded "tastes like dinosaur."
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 3 Mar
I think Dennis Rodman someone hopes to become Secretary of State.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 3 Mar
@geneweingarten On second thought, I have no clue. I seriously believe Dik Browne is screaming for us to hold an intervention for him
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 3 Mar
Will the next Pope will demonstrate racial sensitivities by appearing in black face? He already show his female side by dressing in drag.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 3 Mar
@geneweingarten I believe either Hagar thinks he's trapped a rabbit in a rabbit hole or the cartoonist has been mixing medications.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 3 Mar
I hate when someone hacks my site, posts disgusting videos and people then comment they're my best work ever.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 2 Mar
If 50 Shades is based on Twilight, and Twilight is more mainstream, when did pulling heads off bodies become a mainstream fantasy?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 2 Mar
If the new Pope has to be male, that does not rule out a transgendered person, right?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 2 Mar
I have just learned the Vatican will not count my absentee ballot for Sarah Silverman for Pope. @SarahKSilverman
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 2 Mar
@thebobbieoliver Never write you are bi-polar in a bio. Write you are a bi-polar bear and let them worry,
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 2 Mar
Girl Scouts were created by the cookie industry to get volunteer child labor to sell overprice cookies to customers believing it charity.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 1 Mar
Funding for the Jedi mind meld was sequestered, so a mind trick was all that was developed. @petridishes
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 1 Mar
I hate it every time I am advised to spend money to see who has accessed my arrest history. I have never been arrested.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 1 Mar
Why are you @SadDrSeuss? Said the green goose. Standing on a purple moose. We need to find our beds. Take heed as we change our meds.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 1 Mar
RIP Bonnie Franklin, who used to live up the road. Us neighbors with those embarrassing yards always admired your talents.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 1 Mar
Sorry, the green card effect does not work in reverse. If you marry an American, you can not get him deported.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 28 Feb
Now trending: #IOnlyGetMadWhen I learn the only #ThingsGirlsLike is the #Blackberry10
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 28 Feb
Does a Pope ever suffer from heart Pope=tations?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 28 Feb
@geneweingarten At least the Pope's last words weren't "So long, and thanks for the fish."
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 28 Feb
@geneweingarten Well, sure, if you are going to amplify the temporal frequencies, what do you expect, swiss cheese?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 28 Feb
There is no Pope. Meteorites are falling to Earth. The polar ice caps are melting, Overall, a good day for Mayan apologists.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 28 Feb
@imdaTED Thanks for following. Didn't you used to be a Senator from Massachusetts?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 28 Feb
@God I unfollow you. Please don't smite me. @geneweingarten
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 28 Feb
How come no Pope has ever taken a name in honor of the Prophet Muhammed?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 28 Feb
@geneweingarten Stat I made up: WaPo columnists think about poop more the than public average. There may be one outliner skewing the results
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 28 Feb
@geneweingarten That is how Lyndon Johnson, in part through Bobby Baker, got so much power. It was their mission to learn that secret.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 28 Feb
@MonicaHesse I also ordered your earlier works, "Siddhartha" and "Larry Has a Crooked Tail." Just kidding. I really did order "Stray."
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 28 Feb
At 2 pm ET, there will be no Pope. Does this mean there will be a free sin time allowed?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 28 Feb
If you have enough money to buy Ted Kennedy's house to tear it down so you can build a new house on that site: You have too much money.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 27 Feb
@MonicaHesse Thanks for the free kitten. At least you didn't try to do what Ikea does and slip me a horse and tell me it is a kitten.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 27 Feb
Why do "used" copies of my works sell for up times four more times than "new" copies in Britain? The British pay more for battered books?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 27 Feb
I just ordered Monica Hesse's "Stray". Will someone explain why there is a basket with a cat in it on my doorstep? @MonicaHesse
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 27 Feb
My mother is dating a 92 year old man. She insists they are not making any long term plans.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 27 Feb
@MonicaHesse I work at home. But that is only because no one in the office wants me to show up there.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 27 Feb
Now trending: If #TitanicII has a #HappyHumpDay may ithe hump it goes over not be an iceberg.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 27 Feb
Doing a joke about Delaware being so small they can't find a second beauty to be the new Miss Delaware would be wrong, Wrong I say,
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 27 Feb
If you want to hide your porn past, avoid entering beauty pageants.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 26 Feb
Is NASCR like baseball: If a part of a car flies into the stands, does the person it hit get to keep it?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 26 Feb
Thoae who believe Iranians are taking over our government have nothing to fear. All the Communists in government won't let that happen.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 26 Feb
So the song "I Saw Your Boobs" is about the men who have hosted the Oscars?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 26 Feb
Now trending: #LiesToldInSchool include #ThingsThatGirlsLike are things that are #AttractingFlies
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 26 Feb
@thebobbieoliver But I would pay for a 3 am call from you. Plus, that would be 6 am my time so essentially that would be a wake up call.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 26 Feb
John Kerry; "Americans have a right to be stupid." So, I guess Kerry watches Fox News.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 26 Feb
I just heard Ikea is serving horse. I never knew horses shopped at Ikea.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 26 Feb
Dennis Rodman is in North Korea. Great, now they are certain to bomb us.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 26 Feb
@JebBush After two failed Bush Presidencies, why do you think we want a third?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 25 Feb
Now trending" #100ThingsAboutMe won't fit in 140 spaces.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 25 Feb
I love the "I saw your Twitter photo and I'd love to date you" spam. Are there women who are really turned on by helicopter fat cats?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 25 Feb
It is amazing when I have higher standards than the Onion.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 25 Feb
Found some unopened envelope with the name "Hugh Jackman" inside it.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 25 Feb
As much as I am glad Tony Mendez's career has been honored, I hate every time he drives me to the airport, security now detains me.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 25 Feb
It is about time Daniel Day Lewis won something.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 25 Feb
If Angelina Jolie were really writing to me, the message would not be in my Junk file
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 25 Feb
Congratulations to Tony Mendez. Even if they fictionalized your work, I am glad people will remember what you did for our country.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 24 Feb
I wonder if the write-in vote will elect "Paranorman" as Best Film? #Oscars2013
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 24 Feb
Why does Jennifer Lawrence keep tripping over me? Is she drunk? #Oscars2013
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 24 Feb
Instead of the "Jaws" theme, who wants to see a computer generated tiger cover the body of anyone speaking too long? #Oscars2013
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 24 Feb
Instead of the "Jaws" theme, who wants to see a real shark jump out and devour those who speak too long? #Oscars2013
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 24 Feb
How Hollywood works: Get me a younger Mitt Romney. Who is Rick Santorum? Who is Barack Obama's agent?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 24 Feb
That Mitt Romney was big a few months ago. Haven't heard much of him lately. I wonder if he peaked too early to win an Oscar. #Oscar2013
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 24 Feb
Time to start planning my 2018 trip to Cuba.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 24 Feb
It is just an honor not to be nominated. #Oscars2013
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 24 Feb
The Oscars seen on TV are just props. The real ones I believe are bought en masse at one of those stores on Hollywood Boulevard.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 24 Feb
Wow, look at those boobs. (I'm not even watching the Oscars and I know that tweet will resonate.) #Oscars
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 24 Feb
Oscars are like the New Hampshire Primary. A small group of people unrepresentative of the rest of the country decide who the country likes.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 24 Feb
@MonicaHesse To Seth McFarlane: Argh! Go flunk yourself.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 23 Feb
I can believe there was a cross dressing ring in the Vatican. Those robes alone were marvelous.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 23 Feb
"Argo" is full of factual errors. Connecticut did not vote to keep the hostages in Iran.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 23 Feb
Re-tweet this and there is almost no chance Bill Gates will send you lots of money, but why risk that he won't', even though he won't?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 23 Feb
Re-tweet this and this is almost no chance that Bill Gates will send you lots of money. You also won't likely get free airline tickets
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 23 Feb
I hate it every time the CIA buys one of my screenplays for a fake movie.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 22 Feb
#RejectedCereals Bits of Alpha Male
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 22 Feb
#RejectedCereals After Life
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 22 Feb
#RejectedCereals Cancelled Chex
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 22 Feb
#RejectedCereals Honey, Oats, and Poison Ivy
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 22 Feb
#RejectedCereals German Field Marshall Crunch
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 22 Feb
@MonicaHesse After all the vomiting and walking in public in a bathrobe, a great article resulted. Will you put the first version online?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 22 Feb
Now trending: #BeforeIDieIWanna eat oct of #RejectedCereals such as Lieutenant Crunch, Potato Flakes, and Count Chalk-ula.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 22 Feb
I saw the first robin of spring. Granted, it was frozen to death, but I saw it.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 21 Feb
@RVictoriaLawson Thank you for the retweet, or as retweeted, thank you for the retweet.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 21 Feb
@lidyatch Thank you for favoring a tweet. Mom always liked the other tweets better.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 21 Feb
Movie with the Best Semblance to the Book It is Based Upon. #RejectedOscarCategories
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 21 Feb
Best background artist who got away with waving at the camera. #RejectedOscarCategories
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 21 Feb
Best Catatonic Inducing Movie #RejectedOscarCategories
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 21 Feb
Best Film Set in the USA Yet Filmed in a Foreign Country #RejectedOscarCategories
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 21 Feb
Best Screenplay Written by Leon Tchaikovsky #RejectedOscarCategories
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 21 Feb
Best Third Director on a Second Unit #RejectedOscarCategories
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 21 Feb
Best chauffeur of drug dependent star. #RejectedOscarCategories
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 21 Feb
Best Legal Counseling. #RejectedOscarCategories
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 21 Feb
Best Production Assistant. #RejectedOscarCategories
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 21 Feb
Best catering. #RejectedOscarCategories
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 21 Feb
Best remake of a remake of a remake. #RejectedOscarCategories
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 21 Feb
Best remake of a remake. #RejectedOscarCategories
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 21 Feb
Best dress malfunction on the red carpet. #RejectedOscarCategories
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 21 Feb
Movie that really is the most historically accurate. #RejectedOscarCategories
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 21 Feb
Best attaching name as Producer who did nothing. #RejectedOscarCategories
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 21 Feb
Best drug supplier #RejectedOscarCategories
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 21 Feb
@MonicaHesse I am sorry I made fun of it. You do a great job. Remember: celebrities are human. Rich, powerful humans who can destroy you.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 21 Feb
"Bqhatcnwd to you, too", as Scott Brown would say. #MyReplyToTextsWhenImMad
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 21 Feb
@MonicaHesse Why vomit? Are you a binge and purge interviewer?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 21 Feb
Red snapper often less expensive tilipia. Most fish mislabeled as fish when it really is cat.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 21 Feb
Montana is considering making it legal to eat roadkill. Our prisons are overcrowded with roadkill eaters.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 21 Feb
The Oscars will end when my "Crazy Christian" neighbor and our pal Stewie sing. What could possibly go wrong?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 20 Feb
I like the comment of the Cecil Hotel guest who stayed there 8 days and thought the water tasted funny but assumed that's how LA water is.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 20 Feb
A dead body was found in an LA hotel water tank. People became suspicious because the water was tasting less foul than usual.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 20 Feb
Dear Fox News: Just because none of you have raped anyone on campus for years does not mean there are no more rapes.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 20 Feb
@AdamLaxalt Sorry, not only was your granddad a Senator, but guess what you father also was...
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 20 Feb
@MarkHamill Luke, go to the dark side. Sign with Disney.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 20 Feb
I am nominating Marcel Proust to the Air Guitar Hall of Fame. He was also known for a bit of writing.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 20 Feb
Worse idea ever: Let's write Hitler rape jokes.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 20 Feb
#IfIHadGlass I would film cat videos, because I don't think anyone has ever done that before.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 20 Feb
Now trending: #OneOfThePerksOfDaingMe is you will then be able to #MentionSomeoneYoureThankfulFor
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 20 Feb
I do not trust any woman who cheats on her husband with anyone other than me.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 20 Feb
@petridishes My copy of "Of Human Bondage" is not erotica. I wondered why you always sit behind me.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 20 Feb
@MTV Hey, I also hacked my own account. I am boring and unwatchable, just like your network,
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 20 Feb
@TheFix Are you sure the backpack that the guy poured 12 beers into was his?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 19 Feb
@MonicaHesse All jokes aside, I do admire Stephenie Meyer and her work. Have fun with her. Scandalous fun with her with even be better.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 19 Feb
@MonicaHesse Please ask Stephen Meyer what the future holds for intelligent design. Oops, wait, wrong person.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 19 Feb
@MonicaHesse Please ask Stephanie Meyer if vampires are really representations of exaggerated teenage hickey fantasies?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 19 Feb
@MonicaHesse Please ask Stephenie Meyer what she feels about the 50 Shades trilogy ripping off her characters and mimicking her poor writing
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 19 Feb
@MonicaHesse Please ask Stephenie Meyer why some guy who is weil over 100 is still in high school?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 19 Feb
The Postal Service is launching a clothing line. Because in all women's fantasies, a guy is dressed like Cliff Clavin.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 19 Feb
@ScottBrown "Bqhatenwd", you say? Well, you can't argue with that.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 19 Feb
@ScottBrown You think butt tweeting is bad I keep my phone in my front pocket. I once penis dialed someone.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 19 Feb
"Buy a shotgun" Biden recommends. The NRA now wants to make that a Constitutional requirement for all Americans.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 19 Feb
I thought Oscar Pistorious was what people did in private with their Academy Awards.
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