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Tchaikovsky Sounds Funny: August 2017

Is this where I put in key words such as sex, lesbians, vampires, Christopher Lloyd and others things to which this blog do not pertain, but by putting them here, I may get hits from all the Christoper Lloyd lesbian vampire fans (and you know who you are)? This is the primarily humorous and occasionally rambling writings of Leon Tchaikovsky, humor writer. Enjoy.

Saturday, August 12, 2017

Do Not Trumpet the Tweeting Trump


 I am sure Steve Bannon and Steve Miller are typing up a speech for Trump denouncing racism.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  21h21 hours ago
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 Trump threaten to invade Venezuela, but do not worry. Putin will tell him not to do that.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  21h21 hours ago
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 Warning sign 4: She said I have nothing to worry about since the court granted her brother full custody of the children.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  21h21 hours ago
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 Warning sign 3: She explained that she and her brother have not dated since they divorced each other.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  21h21 hours ago
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 Warning sign 2: I asked if the guy she was having oral sex with in the photo would be jealous. She replied "no, he's my brother."
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  21h21 hours ago
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 Warning sign 1 your Internet match is wrong: I asked her to send a head shot. She sent me a photo of her giving head.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Aug 11
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 Anyone else find it ironic that fewer people are being deported under Trump than under Obama?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Aug 11
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 Trump thanking Russia for expelling US diplomats is seemingly like he owes Putin for something. What could that be?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Aug 10
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 Trump wants to send North Korea things they never thought possible. He should send them a tape to the latest Sharknado movie.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Aug 10
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 Wharton analysis shows Trump causing loss of jobs and GDP. I await Trump claiming the school from which he graduated is a fake school.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Aug 10
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 Someday people will be wearing t-shirts reading "I survived the Trump Administration".
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Aug 10
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 How I long for the good old Scaramucci Days.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Aug 9
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 National Inquirer owned by Trump friend is trashing Paul Manafort. This must mean Trump thinks Manafort flipped.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Aug 9
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 It's good to be alive. (Offer not valid in Korea or Guam.)
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Aug 9
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 Twice a day Trump is given positive news clips. Anyone else note when staff can't find enough they just threw in photos of Trump?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Aug 9
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 Mr. President, remember you once stated "negotiate like crazy", not "negotiate like you are crazy."
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Aug 9
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 Trump calls on law enforcement for an opioid crisis created by many who are using legal products.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Aug 8
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 After the US fighting wars in Afghanistan, Iraq, and Korea, Russia may  become the world's dominant military power.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Aug 8
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 Remember, you can't have impeachment hearings in the middle of a war.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Aug 8
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 Trump tweets classified information, but please continue thinking Hillary's emails are more important.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Aug 8
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 Overheard today in Capitol: "You'll be the new guy even after we've hired three new guys."
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Aug 7
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 Connecticut claims inventing the lobster roll. While Maine was forcing prisoners to eat lobster, Connecticut was selling it to customers.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Aug 7
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 Wait, more Blacks than whites are registered to vote in the deep South, yet the Deep South is considered safe Republican? Voter suppression?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Aug 5
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 Lenny Dystrra gets sexually aroused discussing politics. In my decades of politics, I have never observed this fetish before, ever.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Aug 5
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 We can not impeach Trump when we are in the middle of the upcoming war with North Korea.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Aug 5
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 Ivanka, when dad hears voices of phone calls he never received and is this delusional, it is time to find him a nice home.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Aug 4
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 I ask this once again: Does Fox News asks if you are a sexual harasser and then only hire men who answer "yes"?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Aug 4
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 "Your money or your life." Secret Service leaves Trump Towers because it costs too much to stay.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Aug 4
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 What to really upset a Republican Senator? Show the Senator polling numbers for supporting Trumpcare.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Aug 3
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 Trump envisions receiving phone calls he did not receive. Is this normal Presidential behavior?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Aug 3
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 Trump denies he called the White House a dump. He only called Camp David a dump.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Aug 2
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 NASA should hire Donald Trump to protect Earth from aliens. The aliens will realize there is no intelligent life here and then move on.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Aug 2
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 Harrisburg called by Trump a bombed-out war zone is not so bad if you realize Trump considers the White House a dump.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jul 31
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 Donald Trump told what lie Donald Trump, Jr. should tell? What universe have I reached and how do I get back to my original universe?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jul 31
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 Man caught trying to steal golf cart from country club. What was the game plan here? Drive it down the highway and hope no-one notices?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jul 31
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 If everyone who gets to be White House Communications Director votes for Trump in 2020 he'll win in a landslide.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jul 31
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 Whoever repaints the walls when someone new moves into a White House office must be the busiest person in the White House.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jul 31
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 As the new Communications Director, it is my job to inform you that I have just been fired.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jul 31
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 I am thinking ahead. We must recruit peace candidates to run against candidates supporting the war Trump is going to start.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jul 30
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 Southern Trump supporters are the only major part of his base abandoning him. Sadly, it is because they just realized he is from New York.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jul 30
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 Oh, now it is news that hackers can hack our election machines and no one cared when I said it years ago or a few months ago....
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jul 30
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 Scarmucci accuses Priebus of adultery. Well, I am sure Donald Trump would never stand for allowing that to happen.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jul 30
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 If insurance companies believe they can't survive without government subsidies, then I guess the government will have to take over insurance
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jul 30
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 Defense Dept: Attacking North Korea would result in worst fighting in most lifetimes. Too bad Trump doesn't read intelligence reports.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jul 30
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 Jeff Bezos is now the nation's wealthiest man. I am sure it was buying the Washington Post that made the difference. #WashingtonPost
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jul 30
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 Half of Republicans believe that Trump's 46% of the vote is larger than Clinton's 49% of the vote. Oh and climate change does not exist.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jul 30
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 Who evens wants to be President now? It would be like having to clean up after the animals when the circus leaves town.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jul 29
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 No only would most adults fail a Civics test, most do not even know what Civics is.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jul 29
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 Since Trump has sometimes been a White House leak source, will Scaramucci then have Trump fired?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jul 29
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 When will Trump make the JFK assassination records public so we may learn how Ted Cruz's father assassinated JFK?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jul 28
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 Surveys find 67% of men have been to prostitutes, 51% favor its legalization, meaning 16% of men favor their own imprisonment.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jul 28
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 Republicans: "You can fool some of the people some of that time, and that is enough to get the Republican nomination and then be elected."
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jul 28
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 Republicans, pay attention. Half don't know who people in politics are. Which explains how they gave us Nixon, George W Bush, and Trump.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jul 28
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 Half of Republicans surveyed think Special Prosecutor's name is Sean Spicer. Then, many Democrats think his real name is Melissa McCarthy.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jul 28
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 Jeff Session, you are in trouble. Trump things you should have agreed to be project manager instead of recusing yourself.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jul 28
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 Trump, this is not a reality show. You do not have to fire someone every week. For those counting, Omarosa has outlived Sean Spicer.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jul 26
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 The $2.4 million- $8.4 million Rand estimate of transgender in military costs equals how much compared to a Trump vacation day costs?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jul 26
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 Trump "accidentally" praises pro-hezbollah leader after purposely working with pro-Taliban leader. Somewhere, Putin is laughing his ass off.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jul 26
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 She said to bring toys. So there I am massage her back with my R2D2.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jul 26
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 Trump has nothing to worry about. All he needs to do is plead insanity and no one will doubt him.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jul 25
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 Russia is sending arms to the Taliban. Of course we want to support Russian efforts for peace.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jul 25
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 Will the Boy Scouts now offer a Merit Badge for fake news avoidance?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jul 24
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 It was the best of times (yuge). It was the worst of times (fake news).
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jul 24
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 #YoureAtABadHotel is you report a rat in the room and they charge you for having a pet.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jul 24
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 The shark that beat Michael Phelps is demanding a Gold Medal and a role in the next "Sharknado".
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jul 23
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 My new screenplay "The Prison Librarian" asks if after 60 years imprisonment a Jew may find a miracle on the day after Christmas?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jul 23
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 My new screenplay "The Prison Librarian' is #243 on the screenplay best seller list, with a bullet (I think to kill it).
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jul 22
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 Tweet like you have lost your mind.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jul 21
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 The big question now is: What comedic actor looks most like Anthony Scaramucci? #Scaramucci
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jul 21
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 Anyone else noticing the large number of Trump lawyers and aides resigning like rats from a sinking ship?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jul 17
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 Not Ted Cruz #MadeInAmericaWeek #MadeInAmerica
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jul 17
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 For those upset at Dr. Who being a woman, remember, someday there may be a male Wonder Woman,
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jul 17
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 Winnie the Poo banned in China for looking like Xi Jinping. Same reason given for China banning Peter Griffin. #FamilyGuy
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jul 17
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 The Secret Service which was not yet attached to Donald Trump Jr. is blamed for not going back in time and stopping him on Russian meet.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jul 17
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 30% believe Trump is a good influence for children, so prepare yourselves for 30% of pussy grabbing young men.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jul 17
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 Will the doctor stating abortions are reversible return to planet Earth?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jul 16
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 So sad to learn that old friend Martin Landau has passed away. He was terrific and a great talent.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jul 16
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 RIP Pennsylvania's George Romero. I am glad to have met him. A great guy and filmmaker has left us.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jul 16
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 Maybe Dr. Who will turn out to be transgender and she will live as a man.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jul 16
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 Gays are not people and should move to Canada? I guess Canada is non-people friendly.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jul 16
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 If Trump shot someone on 5th Avenue or colluded with Russians to win the election, he would not lose his supporters. #Trump #TrumpRussia
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jul 16
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 Yes, Donald, you have done more in 5 months (to get impeached) than any other President..
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jul 15
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 Wait, you mean it is not a good idea to tow your children in a toy wagon behind your car?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jul 15
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 You know your prison is cool when they have a Penn State alumni chapter.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jul 15
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 If Mark Zuckerberg is elected President, will #JesseEisenberg play him on SNL?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jul 14
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 If you set time equals zero, all your equations match.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jul 14
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 Trump: A man who decries leaks and then gets upset when none of the press prints his off-the-record comments. #PlaybookLoyal
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jul 12
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 My screenplay "The Life or Death of Immortality" is now available at few bookstores probably far away from you. Or http://amazon.com
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jul 11
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 Jayden K. Smith is my new best friend.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jul 11
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 When did comedy become hordes of virgins telling jokes of their fake sex lives? If they die on stage, they go backstage to 72 other virgins.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jul 11
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 Before, White House listing POTUS meeting with someone who turns out wasn't even in the country would have been that day's biggest mistake.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jul 4
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 What did they do at Fox? Ask if you are a sexual harasser, and if you answered "yes", they hired you?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jul 2
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 That's is: Donald Trump versus Anderson Cooper. Winner of the wrestling match gets the keys to the White House.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jul 2
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 The revolution will not be televised. It will be tweeted.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jul 1
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 Historians will wonder how MSNBC ratings became a major political concern in the 21st century.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jul 1
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 Not that they care, but how did the Confederate flag of Northern Virginia come to be embraced by all modern pro-Confederates of all states?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jun 29
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 While Rob Lowe barely survived Bigfoot, America is barely surviving President Little Hands.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jun 28
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 Civil rights demanded health care for Blacks. Many Blacks did not get health care until Obamacare. The civil rights struggle remains.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jun 28
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 Washington Post warns employees not to disparage advertisers. I await the political advertisers.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jun 28
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 Trump telling Senators he did not know tax reform is in health care proposal should warn Senate Republicans he is not on top of things.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jun 28
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 Remember, the Russia investigation that does not exist is Obama's fault it is does exist. Got that? Good. Listen to Big Brother.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jun 27
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 Trump can't get it together to record a Disney Hall of Presidents audio, much less pass legislation.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jun 27
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 If the wealthy need tax breaks so they can afford health care, what about the rest of us?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jun 27
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 How does a body be in a bed and breakfast for several weeks? Note: They may not be chasing the linens everyday.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jun 27
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 Alec Baldwin win be back on SNL next season to portray the President. I did not know he did a Mike Pence impression. #SNL #Trump #Pence
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jun 27
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 Is CNN like Dan Rather, where the story is correct yet we instead shoot the messenger?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jun 24
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 A sign Parliament has been cyber-attacked: the newly elected Conservative Party leader is Donald Trump.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jun 24
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 Comey and Mueller have never been to each other's houses. How does this "friendship" make Mueller biased?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jun 23
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 Yes, there are independent fact checkers. Yet far fewer read the fact checkers than are influenced by the fake next.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jun 22
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 Explain to me again how you think cutting Medicaid and giving tax breaks to the wealthy improves health care.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jun 22
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 Criticizing Nancy Pelosi of San Francisco is an insulting homophobic appeal to prejudiced voters that should be addressed.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jun 21
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 Love the first reaction of people who see a tornado is to film it and post it on social media. Hey, take a selfie! #NationalSelfieDay
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jun 21
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 Human toe used in drinks stolen from bar creates quote of the day from bar employee: "Toes are very hard to come by."
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jun 19
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 Sadly, today's lesson: If you are texting you are being chased by a bear, the bear will catch up to you.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jun 18
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 Penna. school dress code does not allow collar bone to show. What? Is there such a thing as a collar bone fetish? I am so behind the times.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jun 18
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 RIP the original legacy from Harrisburg. It was great meeting you years ago, and your work never once floundered.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jun 18
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 What most of today's films, just show it. #DisappointAFilm
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jun 18
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 Despite having a master degree in City Planning, I could never get a job at HUD. I never have been a wedding planner.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jun 17
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 I wonder why NBC News won't air an interview with someone who believes the moon landing (which I filmed) is a hoax. My works gets no respect
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jun 16
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 If the shark eats Michael Phelps while they are racing, is the shark disqualified?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jun 16
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 Maybe it is a Warlock Hunt and not a Witch Hunt.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jun 16
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 Remember, any news that Trump is under investigation is fake news. Except, of course, when Trump says it.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jun 16
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 Trump's obsession over the Russian investigations reminds me of Nixon's obsession over Watergate.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jun 16
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 Why is Pence lawyering-up if he has nothing to hide?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jun 16
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 For some reason, Clooney, Kilmer, Keaton, and Affleck all rushed last night to LA City Hall.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jun 15
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 Not being Catholic, I don't understand confirmation. Do Senators grill you before the church confirms you?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jun 14
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 They will probably now require ball players to wear sidearms. If a pitcher improperly removes a weapon, it would be a balk.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jun 14
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 The topic that most enrages Trump is anything questioning his Presidential win. Interesting. A bit sensitive, are we?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jun 13
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 Republican leaders restricting press access in Senate are not profiles in courage.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jun 13
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 Warriors decline White House visit. Trump announces NBA title was won by the Cavaliers.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jun 13
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 Russian hackers got into voting information in at least 39 states. But don't worry, the exit polls showing Hillary won have to be wrong.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jun 13
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 Brookings analysis: Trump budget cuts 60% of programs for middle class & poor. He also wants to give tax breaks to rich. Feel deceived yet?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jun 12
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 Every time I criticize Trump, people mistakenly think I am really criticizing Skroob.  #NotMySkroob
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jun 12
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 I am glad I did not fall for Russian attempts on social media to disclose the secret missiles we have hidden underneath Central Park.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jun 11
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 Leaking non-classified government information is legal. Just in case you did not realize that.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jun 11
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 James Comey is a Republican appointed by George W.Bush who destroyed Hillary, so obviously he is part of the liberal media conspiracy.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jun 11
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 Fake Internet news goes back to smearing Dan Rather for his reports on George W. Bush back in 2008.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jun 11
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 If you were worried that Hillary's emails were unsecured, then you should worry that a 3 year old stole Sarah Huckabee Sanders's phone.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jun 9
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 Fudge yeah, Kirsten Gellibrand. (She did say "fudge", right?)
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jun 8
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 Only my computer wasn't hacked. None of the hackers figured out my pass code, which was "hackers have small penises."
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jun 7
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 If Democrats are not people, do they have to pay taxes?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jun 7
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 Eric Trump tweeted that Democrats "are not even people" If they aren't people, then I guess they have no right to vote, get health care, etc
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jun 6
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 No, @lenadunham did not name Lenny after me.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jun 6
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 I now have an author page on http://amazon.com , whatever that is. That should ruin Amazon's reputation.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jun 6
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 Trump: Before you criticize Congress for not acting on your nominees, you first have to submit the nominations to Congress.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jun 5
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 Wait: Fox News is reporting the Russian government sought to hack voting machines. I am sure Trump will say Fox is fake news.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jun 5
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 Trump Attorneys: Its not a travel ban. Trump: Approve my travel ban.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jun 5
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 GOP Congress did not want to give Obama credit for what he wanted to do. Now GOP Congress does not want credit for what they stated to do.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jun 4
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 Climate change is a myth. What really is happening is the world is becoming more #Covfefe
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jun 4
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 I named my bichon free #Covfefe
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jun 4
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 Whenever the ocean water feels too cold, I get #Covfefe
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Jun 1
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 It was a nice Earth while it lasted.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  May 31
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 Turn your head and #coyfete.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  May 31
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 Trump: So now you have positive press #cofeve?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  May 31
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 Trump asks world leaders to call him on an unsecured cell phone wanted Hillary jailed for unsecured emails. Is he for real?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  May 31
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 I hate it when Trump misspells my name as #covefe
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  May 30
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 How does our government misplace a billion dollars in Iraq? It has to be somewhere. Have they checked everywhere?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  May 30
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 That ruins it for everyone. Now people are going to be checked at hockey games for catfish.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  May 30
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 Putin states someone lying in Trump's bed could have hacked his emails. Well, that rules out Melania as a suspect.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  May 30
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 Peanut butter states it "may  contain peanuts." When does this product NOT contain peanuts?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  May 29
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 My autobiography is to be entitled "The ACLU Wants This Book Banned".
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  May 26
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 If everyone in the District of Columbia would agree to only elect Republicans, then D.C. would be allowed to have two Senators.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  May 26
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 "Out of the way? Montenegro? Is that even a country?"
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  May 25
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 The Pope is sorry he did not get to meet Sean Spicer. The Pope also wants to meet that hilarious Melissa McCarthy.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  May 20
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 Trump claims Comey is a "nut job". Takes one to know one?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  May 19
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 Trump says Comey is wrong. This is easy. If he has a tape, produce it.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  May 18
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 Yes, Donald, it is a witch hunt, if your secret name is Wicked Witch of New York City.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  May 18
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 Did Flynn put Turkish interests ahead of Trump's campaign pledge to go after ISIS? Oh, wait, Benghazi is what's important.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  May 17
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 So House Republicans kept secret for a year their Leader's belief Putin paid Trump? Then they claim they work for the people?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  May 17
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 Ironic that California and Pennsylvania had same primary day. My computer reminded me to vote, but in the wrong state.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  May 16
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 If only Trump would have sex in the Oval Office with a subordinate, then we would have a real Constitutional crisis.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  May 16
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 We can't be shocked seeing Trump has no boundaries. We knew during the campaign he will say and grab whatever he wants.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  May 16
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 Poor Republicans. Life was so much simpler when all they had to say was "Benghazi" and "repeal Obamacare".
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  May 16
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 Join our intelligence agency, and experience the thrill of having your secret mission compromised by the President of the United States.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  May 16
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 When the police officer ODs from patting you down,you might have a drug problem.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  May 16
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 Joe Scarborough claims Trump is a criminal target. So, I guess that means Trump won't be attending the wedding.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  May 16
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 China plans on foreign infrastructure investment larger than the Marshall Plan. FYI: China is the world's largest national economy, not USA.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  May 16
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 Remember, what matters is mishandling emails, not mishandling classified information.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  May 15
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 If you do what Flynn did and register retroactively as a foreign agent then you will avoid any trouble, Mr. Trump.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  May 14
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 I like how an open records request found an email asking employees to alter records for the open records request.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  May 13
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 Male members of Congress not wanting insurance to pay for women's health issues violates how insurance works and highlights their sexism.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  May 12
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 Trump admits Comey refused to pledge loyalty. So he fired him. Well, that should convince us that Trump had nothing hide from Comey.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  May 12
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 Trump may end press briefings because he doesn't like his staff trying to find reasonable explanations for what he said.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  May 12
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 I can see why the producer replaced Obama on that White House show. The new guy Trump creates lots more conflict.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  May 12
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 At least Trump admits Clinton "should have won" the election.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  May 12
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 I await the day when Trump and his Communications teams actually say the same things.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  May 12
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 Trump must never have watched a police show. Everyone knows the police are allowed to lie to you, even the FBI Director.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  May 11
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 Trump says Comey told him three times Trump was not under investigation. It is a crime for the FBI to inform White House of investigations.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  May 10
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 At least we know RICO would never apply to the Trump campaign. It only applies to organized criminals.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  May 10
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 Hydra are immortal? They should get a recording contract.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  May 10
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 So Trump thinks Comey was unfair to Hillary even though Trump thinks Comey should have put Hillary in prison?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  May 10
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 The White House is like "The Apprentice". Every few weeks, Trump tells someone "you're fired."
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  May 10
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 Just because you recuse yourself from the Russian investigation does not mean you can't get rid of the person doing the investigating.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  May 9
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 Maybe Comey was fired for his misstatements. He did tell Trump three times he wasn't under investigation.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  May 8
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 In sum, the book confirms that the secret to gaining great wealth is to be born wealthy.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  May 6
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 I don't know about God, but I know a President who is an "utter manic", "capricious, mean-spirited and stupid".
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  May 6
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 I repeat from years ago: Obamacare is like a toy you didn't want. It may not be your favorite but you will hate who tries to take it away.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  May 6
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 Interesting how France suspects the Russians tried to hack their elections yet no one suspect Russians tried that in the U.S.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  May 5
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 Remember, do not get a catastrophic illness unless you can pay for it. You have been warned.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  May 4
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 When foreign elections do not match polls, we presume rigged elections. When US elections do not match polls, we presume pollster error.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  May 4
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 My new screenplay "The Queens Idiots" debuted at #62 in http://amazon.com  screenplays. In Trump Era, idiots rule!
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  May 4
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 WHAT? A jury convicted someone for laughing at Jeff Sessions for making an incorrect statement? I guess #AttorneyGeneralFeelingsMatter
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  May 3
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 As a humorist, I can verify that no one could ever be prosecuting for laughing at me.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  May 3
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 Nancy Pelosi traded Andrew Jackson to Trump in return for Abraham Lincoln.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  May 2
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 I perhaps wouldn't mind that Trump supporters can't take a joke if only they hadn't elected a joke as President. #Colbert
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  May 2
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 Attention, George Soros conspiracy theorists. One of his business partners is Jared Kushner.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  May 1
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 If only Andrew Jackson had lived long enough he could have prevented the Civil War by letting the South have all it wanted.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Apr 28
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 "I whacked nine of these people. One is a lie. Guess which one."
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Apr 26
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 If Trump continues never reading anything, there will be no need for a Trump Library.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Apr 26
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 Oh, no! United Airlines killed Harvey.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Apr 26
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 Scientists can turn skin cells into brain cells. And this is how you create more Republicans.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Apr 25
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 I would go on strike if I had a job to strike from.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Apr 25
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 Hey, Trump tea partiers: Aren't you glad that health care will allow your rates to go up? At least you won't have Obamacare.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Apr 25
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 Morning police chase where police killed driver not even newsworthy by evening news.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Apr 25
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 I will be shaken to learn Bill O'Reilly admits he is a serial sexual harasser.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Apr 25
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 I promise, if I get 100,000 new followers, I may give one of them $1.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Apr 25
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 I received a free drink from a Trump supporter who thought my red Book Festival hat was a Trump hat. I love illiterate Trump supporters.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Apr 24
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 Being in outer space reduces vision. Sort of like working in the White House.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Apr 23
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 I wonder how Fox would have responded if instead of harassing Gretchen Carlson, Bill O'Reilly had harassed Tucker Carlson.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Apr 23
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 Isn't it sad that people have to demonstrate for their desire to state facts?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Apr 22
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 Saddened to learn of the passing of Erin Moran, a great friend who told great jokes.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Apr 22
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 Why aren't animal rights activists protesting the slaughter of unicorns by Starbucks?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Apr 21
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 The Roosevelt Administration respected the legitimacy of Hawaii more than does the Trump Administration.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Apr 21
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 FYI: Not only is Hawaii a state, but it is more than one island.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Apr 21
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 The White House press corps are fake news. Hawaii is a fake state. World War III will be a fake war.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Apr 21
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 Remembering the days when Korea was part of China is like remembering the Bowling Green massacre.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Apr 21
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 Trump is close friends with Pavarotti and Frederick Douglass.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Apr 19
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 Well, the armada was going in some direction.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Apr 19
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 Congressional Republicans trying to eliminate the Election Assistance Commission, which monitors election hacking. Covering their tracks?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Apr 19
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 I think I need a new doctor. My current doctor recommended I look into a program called "assisted suicide".
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Apr 17
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 Of course Trump congratulated Erodgen on his victory. People who win disputed elections stand together.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Apr 17
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 Wait. So Trump was wrong when he stated Susan Rice broke the law? I am shocked, shocked that Trump once again is wrong.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Apr 14
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 RIP Maggie, the only reason I would visit the Governor's Mansion.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Apr 14
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 If Booth had to wait for laughter during one of my performances, Lincoln would have never been assassinated.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Apr 13
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 No, i have, not, noticed, that people use, too many, commas.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Apr 12
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 The Holocaust: "Never forget." Sean Spicer: "I forgot."
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Apr 11
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 Please note: According to legal experts, an airlines has a right prevent a passenger to board but not to remove a passenger without cause.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Apr 11
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 Trump will appoint Frederick Douglas to research whether Hitler ever used chemical gases on his own residents.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Apr 9
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 It is easier to fly out of the recently bombed airport in Syria than to fly out of Atlanta.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Apr 9
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 Congratulations to Larry Thomas for his well deserved Best Actor Award for "The Love Suckers" from the New York International Film Festival.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Apr 7
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 Well, we can't possibly think about impeaching the President when we are at war in Syria.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Apr 7
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 From my book "Political Rules": any supermajority that can be overturned by the majority is not a supermajority. #Gorsuch
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Apr 6
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 Tim Tebow hit a home run and thought he was born on second.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Apr 6
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 Donald Trump Jr. is no longer thinking of running for Mayor; he may run for Governor. Next month, he will probably want to run for President
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Apr 6
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 I am sure the world's largest Communist leader will be impressed with the American leader's high standard of living.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Apr 4
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 Chelsea Clinton picked me for the first question. I got the knack back.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Apr 4
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 The Philadelphia guy walking around holding TV is art. The guy running with TV set is a different story.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Apr 4
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 OK, Vladamir, we get the UK to leave the EU, then create a crisis over Gibraltar, oh, and get this, we get Trump elected US President.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Apr 1
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 My "Phish Out of Water" has fallen to #788 on the Screenwritings chart. I could (not) have been a contender.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Apr 1
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 If you buy my new screenplay "Time Again" on http://amazon.com , you always always buy it again another time, and appreciate the irony.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Apr 1
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 My new screenplay "Time Again", a critical look at Hollywood, is now available on http://amazon.com . All your cousins want copies.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Mar 31
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 I wonder if Donald Trump will offer to testify if granted immunity.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Mar 31
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 The 1,000 Russians writing about Hillary was more than the number of American press following Hillary.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Mar 30
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 How does Trump want to change libel laws? When it is wrong for the press to print facts about the President?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Mar 29
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 PA State Senator claims body heat creates global warning I guess that is why they want fewer funds for heating assistance.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Mar 29
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 Remember the days of separate but unequal education by race? Those days are today.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Mar 29
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 Trump to sign law allowing Internet providers to search for your social security numbers and history, and then sell this information.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Mar 29
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 Fact: US intelligence finds Russia influenced elections. Fact: 64% of Republicans believe they did not. Alternate world.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Mar 29
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 Fact: White House officials admit Obama did not surveil Trump. Fact: 74% of Republicans believe he did. Alternate world.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky‏ @SexiestLyingWit  Mar 29
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 For the record, yesterday I was bleeding for 5 1/2 hours before I saw a doctor. I have great insurance. US health care: ya gotta love it.


 
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