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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
@WhitneyCummings I love watching reruns. I keep watching to see if the ending changes.
@HEAVY12 Thanks for following me. You ain't my brother, you're my Heavy.
@petridishes The female praying mantis bites off the head. Human females use a chain saw (see today's news).
@geneweingarten According to my preacher, it is pronounced "upside down six, upside six, upside six".
@SethMacFarlane @sach_29 No, Seth has the better range. Also, the better bullpen, fielding, and coaching. Seth in six.
@EricaLScott Used books are collectables. New books are throw aways.That is why the used costs more than new. That's how people think today.
@petridishes But I really don't want to run for President. That's two. #phrasesalsousedinpeptalksforpeter #lotsofreligiontoday #titswc
@SethMacFarlane I just realized Rick Perry is Chris and Sarah Palin is Meg. You have quite the subtle conspiracy going there.
@SethMacFarlane If you can find Newt Gingrich, he always struck me as a Peter Griffin type of guy.
@SethMacFarlane Future historians will note that Michelle Bachman was a Stewie fan. I love it.
@EricaLScott You could sign nameplates and mail them to your fans. Aren't I good at coming up with ideas that cost you money?
@petridishes When you come to a fork in the road, leave it there. You don't know what germs are on it.
@EricaLScott What is this "post office box"? I can't find anywhere on my computer how to activate this program.
@celebritology Thanks for the RT. Your mention got me hits from 3 countries. Guess I am famous afterall. http://iamfamousforbeingfamous.blogspot.com/
@celebritology I took you advice and am using the Internet to become famous. http://iamfamousforbeingfamous.blogspot.com/2011/09/i-am-famous-for-being-famous.html?spref=tw
@petridishes Electrons of atoms moving at the speed of light must travel faster than the speed of light. The speed of light is not absolute.
@LadyGrew Chaplin's observation may be right, but learn from it. Admire yourself for the great you that you are.
@EricaLScott Happy surviving yet another rotation of Earth around the Sun. Congratulations on a past year with a great book.
@geneweingarten You know Blue Ball and Intercourse are in Pennsylvania. My favorite road is Spithead Road in Waterford, Ct.
@geneweingarten What is a "book"? It was explained to me it is like a hard copy of a Kindle.
@petridishes God only spoke to me once. He said "Leon, don't do a thing. I'll handle things myself."
@PatRobertson So then it is now alright for your wife to divorce you?
@NicholasCage The hotel management thought you requested a naked man holding a Fudgesicle wake up call.
@petridishes Alexandra Petri Michaele Salahi will devote the rest of her life searching for the real kidnappers.
@petridishes @BarackObama If you send me five dollars, I will meet with ten of you as well.
@geneweingarten His attorney may wish him to freshen up a bit for his trial: http://www.abc27.com/story/15450154/carlisle-man-stole-ate-raw-meat-at-carlisle-store
@JoyVBehar Why did Cheney wait until 2009 to tell Chris Matthews that we all had been misprouncing his name all these years?
@JoyVBehar Does Dick Cheney still fully support the 1 per cent theory that a 1 per cent terrorist threat should be treated like sure threat?
@petridishes That was a much better observation. Congratulations. "Youth is time is wear and we are all together right now" -Not John Lennon
@petridishes I did too read this. #iknowhowtoquityouthistimeiswear Time is wear? What does that even mean?
@heleneudy Sorry you got hacked. Now why is $970 missing from my account?
@geneweingarten Yes, women do "put out" the trash all the time. Why do you ask?
@SarahKSilverman Now, now, that correct way to say it is "Rick Santorum is mentally challenged. And a douche."
@geneweingarten @fmarciuliano Wait, this may not be over. The batter could pass the runner on second. That would kill Married Irving.
@geneweingarten Key is not a forced out for the final out but a runner error after hit, i.e. batter gets hit but runner tagged out after hit
@geneweingarten Two hits, runners out stealing, three hits load bases, sixth hit counts but runner error tagged out before scoring.
@ImDannyWilliams Thank you for following me. Break a leg (actor talk, not you owe me money talk).
@FunnyCharlie Thanks for the RT. Should it bother me that there is that train coming towards us? It has plenty of time to stop, right?
@celebritology I missed that important ";". At first I thought you wrote "Viola Davis to adopt Jennifer Love Hewitt".
@heleneudy Did you know that your "similar to" is Martha Stewart? Mine is Chucky from "Child's Play".
@petridishes I suppose next you are going to get me to google "Santorum" at work?
@heleneudy There is a Hollywood Show in Vegas Nov. 19. It is their first time in Vegas, so I have no idea how it will go.
@NCHolley Thank you for writing. I did not see it until now. I asked if network execs were stupid or on drugs, and an exec replied "both".
@petridishes "Appearing Presidential" is standing next to your Vice President and having people decide they would rather keep you President.
@heleneudy Thanks for recommending "Pinball Summer". If it had been named "Mean Boys", you'd have been Tina Fey before Tina Fey.
@petridishes Those Brookstone chair massages: they really are weird staff people reaching from behind the chairs.
@DavidWu Great, now you've made people think it is creepy to run around wearing tiger suits. As the man with tiger blood says, NOT winning.
@RobertCarlock So, you hired based on what people write on the Internet. As least now I understand why you never hired me.
Where do all the candidates stand on letting their children watch the Kardashians on TV?
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
According to Harold Camping, the world ended yesterday. I guess this afterlife is just like life.
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
Hey Mark Rubio, if it will make you feel any better, my family also came to America before before Castro rose in Cuba.
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
Will Ferrell meets press in White House Briefing Room. Press notes this is the most intelligence George W. Bush (that is him?) ever sounded.
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
All I know is Hillary Clinton goes to Libya and the next thing you know Gaddafi is dead.
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
If you are a gay couple in Ohio, you may get a license to own a lion, but you can't get a license to marry.
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
Trending now: #ARealBoyfriend @inthe90s @Makesmelaugh. Well, I am glad men that old still can bring on the humor.
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seanonolennonSean Ono Lennon
Why doesn't Anderson Cooper just run, he seems smarter than the whole lot?
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
They cloned coyotes in Korea. The question thus is: who will respond by cloning roadrunners?
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
I am sorry to anyone I offended. Live in peace and may laughter find you elsewhere. #moderntencommandments
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
This next one is just wrong too. Who wrote this and what were they thinking? Must have had a skank living next door. #moderntencommandments
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
Something about not letting a bear eat your neighbor. Would sound easy, but I ain't dealing with no bear. #moderntencommandments
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
Do not touch my stuff, or I'll pop you (see commandment two prior). #moderntencommandments
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
Hell no, this next commandment is just wrong. #moderntencommandments
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
Call your mom, and your dad, as long as they were always had been there with your child support. @moderntencommandments
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
If you don't have a collective bargaining agreement or a contract, you're screwed. #moderntencommandments
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
Work the rest of the week, up to what the union contract requires. #moderntencommandments
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
Sunday is a day to chill and watch sports, so don't even think of making me work. #moderntencommandments
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
I will love my thousands and millions of fans who buy what I tell them to buy. #moderntencommandments.
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
I get freaking jealous, so no one go near my women. #moderntencommandments
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
No one allowed more Facebook followers than I've got. #moderntencommandments
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
Shazaam, Washington Post will allow more gosh darn language. (Note: I helped facilitate the 2nd time "f" word appeared). #titswc
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
I deny disliking the Republican Party. The Republican Party is my third favorite political party.
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
I don't fault a Texan for thinking the Revoluationary War was fought in the wrong century; I fault him for thinking Texans won the war.
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
Somedays I feel like taking Mitt Romney to Vietnam and brainwashing him.
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
RT Bill Clinton @RashidaJones Of course you can have sex in the White House.
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
To my friend Steve on "2 Broke Girls". No, if you break them, you don't get to keep the girls.
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
If Americans really want to elect a President who shares their religious beliefs, they would elect Homer Simpson.
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
OK, those favoring less taxes than Cain propose 6% sales, corporate, and income taxes. It is the 666 Plan. The devil is in the details.
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
Fox asks Simpsons voice talent to take 48% pay cut. Wow, and how do they treat people on shows that don't make them lots of money?
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
My career ending mistake was comparing Hitler to Obama. Hitler was 5' 8" and Obama is 6'1".
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
Chirs Christie is not running for President and Francisco Franco is still dead. Details at 11 pm.
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
Amanda Know is free and the Louvre is on fire. The two events happened too suspiciously close together in time...
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
Why do I suspect Rick Perry and Michael Richards went to the same camp?
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
I discuss Asberger Syndrome and other whimsical topics. http://iamfamousforbeingfamous.blogspot.com/2011/09/i-am-famous-for-my-charity-giving-of.html
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
Google is now guessing the people'ssexual orientation. For mine, Goggle says "none".
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
The elevator cracking in the Washington Monument is the world's largest vascetomy.
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
Wall Streeters want to pour champagne on Wall Street protestors. Yeah, that will teach them. Throw caviar at them while you're at it...
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
Gov. Christie blocks entertainment tax credit for "Jersey Shore". Makes sense, the show has to first have entertainment.
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
My early years of being famous for being famous: http://iamfamousforbeingfamous.blogspot.com/2011/09/my-early-fame-part-1-of-many-important.html
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
I Am Famous For Being Famous http://iamfamousforbeingfamous.blogspot.com/2011/09/i-am-famous-for-being-famous.html?spref=tw #bioya
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
I Am Famous For Being Famous: I Am Famous For Being Famous http://iamfamousforbeingfamous.blogspot.com/2011/09/i-am-famous-for-being-famous.html?spref=tw
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
I Am Famous For Being Famous http://iamfamousforbeingfamous.blogspot.com/ #iamfamousforbeingfamous
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
I followed "don't ask, don't tell", as required. Now, since I never asked, will someone now tell me what it was?
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
DOJ rejects Texas redistrcting map. Of course, the maps claimed New Mexico and Arizona as new parts of Texas.
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
Congrats to fellow Penn grad Whitney Cummings on "2 Broke Girls". I wonder if Whitney would ever go before the camera herself?
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
Today is Speak Like a Pirate Day. News Corp is speaking in voices of phone hacked victims.
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
As we say in Wales, good health to you now and forever, and may your dopplegander never die an embarrassing death in a badger's den.
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
Dinosaurs had fluffy feathers means: Lots of new toys this Christmas!
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
Did he search under the couch cushions? washingtonpost The Washington Post UBS: Rogue trader lost $2 billion http://wapo.st/nFWVpZ
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
I do not care if a single woman, Sarah Palin, had sex with Glen Rice. I care that a reporter had sex with a story subject.
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
If I kidnap Michaele Salahi, how much will you pay me NOT to make this into a reality show?
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
A. Sarah Palin and J. Edgar Hoover. Q. Name two government officials who wore push up bras.
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
Somewhere, Mitt Romney is searching Craig's List for a Winston Churchill bust.
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
I once kicked a 64 yard field goal attempt. (Of course, I missed....)
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
Paris is lovely. Off to meet Charlie and Rose at the subway. Charlie a bit drunk, glad Rose is with him to make sure he is all OK.
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
It you are tweeting so much about #whyimsingle that you've made it a leading Twitter trend, that may be why you are single.
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
Tornado, earthquake, hurricane, now flooding. I guess all that's left is for the Cubs to win the World Series.
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
Still no new followers. I guess I scared off all the readers of #Twitter4Good
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
My shameless Washington Post plug, yet still no new followers: http://live.washingtonpost.com/innovations---harnessing-twitter-to-do-good.html
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
How does "Things That Don't Make Sense" become a trending topic? #ThingsThatDontMakeSense
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
I'd join a union, if they'd let me in. I can't even get into a civil union.
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
There was an earthquake in LA minutes ago. People on the East Coast are shocked to learn the West Coast also gets earthquakes.
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
Penn even took me.@buzzbissinger My alma mater Penn is a great school. took convicted felons as long as it wasn't 1st degree murder.
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
Why does Piers Morgan feel a need to interview Christine O'Donnell when he can just monitor her phone calls?
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
If I start wearing Abercrombie and Fitch clothes, will they pay me to stop wearing them?
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
Of course Rick Perry doesn't believe in global warming, deserts in Texas have always been hot.
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
An hour of TV costs 22 minutes off your life. Watch an hour of TV, and you come out 28 minutes ahead.
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
Libya has had lots of rulers in recent years. There was Qudaffi, then Gadhafi, and then that guy Kadafi.
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
Pawlenty 3rd, withdraws. Santorum 4th, claims victory. Are media events with no real effect on Delegates the way to choose a President?
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
Bert and Ernie signed a petition imploring me to never marry anyone.
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
I hope you will please have "An Invisible Flower" book signing in NYC. Would you please consider this? #yokoQandA
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
Help! I am in a car stalled on train tracks with Charlie Sheen. I do no think this is going to end well.
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
I should pay more bills. Standards and Poor's just lowered my rating.
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
Penn State football looking good this year. They can tackle an 84 year old man.
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
The Rents Are Too Damn High Party is now the Evictions Happen Too Damn Fast Party.
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
My condolenses to friends and family of Etta James, whose death was falsely reported on that Internet fad.
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
Central Park Zoo peacock escapes, sees New Yorkers in their designer clothing, flees and returns to the zoo.
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
Onion News Writers join union. They hope to strike because they have some funny placards already written.
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
Joseph Prietly discovered oxyen in 1774. Before then, people just gasped and wandered around looking for something to breathe.
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
Of course prison costs more than college: rooms nicer, security better, accessible library, & residents actually learn from each other.
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
Obama tweets we should all watch a Rick Astley video. Further proof space aliens rule us.
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
Republicans insist on plan saving the most money. CBO says it is the Reid Plan, which Republicans oppose. Further proof space aliens rule us
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
I hate it when Kate Perry and I wear the same Smurf dress to Comic Com.
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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky
In NY, gay marriage licenses cost more than regular marriage licenses. Will they become the luxury license for heterosexual couples?http://twitter.com/#!/LeonTchaikovsky
posted by Tchaikovsky Sounds Funny at 8:40 AM
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1 comments
