Blackstone: $350.7 Million; Governor Prostitutes $4,000; Pamela Lee's Breasts (to be decided in court)

The Chairman of Blackstone was paid a salary of $350.7 million last year. The New York press has noted that, with that money, he could purchase the Yankees, Mets, Giants, and the Jets. This immediately caused millions of New Yorkers to ask “why’d anyone buy the Jets?”

People state they are afraid to discuss race in public. I wish to let everyone know: I am bold enough to discuss race. Here goes. Dale Ernhardt, Jr. should drive a Ford. There, I am willing to discuss race. I know there are candidates who don’t want to face these issues, but, I challenge you, Ralph Nader, what are you going to do about it, Mr. Unsafe at Any Speed? I see lots of drivers doing well over 200 MPH, and they’re doing just fine.

I don’t understand why people state there are differences between Blacks and whites. I have looked everywhere, and I can’t find a single Black tissue, so I don’t understand these claims about differences in tissues between Blacks and whites.

Scientists state that Earth will be sucked into the Sun’s gravitational field in a few billion years. Unfortunately, that would have just have been about the time the Cubs finally win a World Series.

Governor Spitzer paid $4,000 for a prostitute because he wanted to do something that “wasn’t safe”. So, Governor, how safe did that turn out? Turns out the unsafe thing was going to a prostitute.

In a surprise announcement, a billionaire recently diagnosed with Alzheimer’s held a press conference to announce he forgot he was giving control of his fortune to someone or other.

I am upset the Yankees didn’t give that #60 Billy Crystal a better chance. Hey, it usually takes five or six years to develop a player, and they give a guy just one at bat? Although, perhaps the fact he’d be about 65 years old when he’d be ready to play might mean he might not have that long a playing career.

Rick Solomon is suing wife Pamela Lee Anderson for divorce. He cites fraud in the marriage. Dude, I told you they weren’t real.