Wearing Tweety Suits

Shortest sound bite competitions #DCOlmpicEvents
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 3m
Running for office #DCOlympicEvents
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 52m
Retirement Home Follies #BadStripClubNames
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 55m
The Hanging Chads #BadStripClubNames
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 1h
Miley Cyrus's Teddy Bears #BadStripClubNames
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 1h
@RSt3w4rtW Thank you for favoring a tweet. Mother always liked that tweet better.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 1h
@jaxcqxln Thank you for the favorite. The tweet's self esteem has improved enough that it got dressed and went out of the house.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 1h
O.J. Simpson Presents #BadStripClubNames
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 1h
Nixon Impersonators #BadStripClubNames
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 1h
The Mary Worth Tribute Place #BadStripClubNames
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 1h
The First Wives' Club #BadStripClubNames
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 1h
72 Virgins and 1 Guy #BadStripClubNames
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 1h
Sister Mary Elephant's #BadStripClubNames
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 1h
Alex Rodriquez is cool. He always shared his needles.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 1h
You know, that Alex Rodriquez is a decent baseball player.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 4h
Bob Filner's #BadStripClubNames
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 4h
Office of Rep. Anthony Weiner #BadStripClubNames
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 4h
Just Like Your Mother's #BadStripClubNames
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 11h
How soon until someone posts a Miley Cyrus-McKayla Maroney mash up photo on the Internet?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 12h
OK, so a twerk is totally different from a tweet.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 17h
@HorrorNights I will be there. Now that should scare people all by itself.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 17h
"Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to twerk I go." I bet many of you never heard the word "Twerk" before yesterday.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 21h
What? Trump University is a fraud. Even though they gave no degree and just took your money, it sounded legit to me,
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 25 Aug
Guru once told me what "that's what she said" is deep insight into female mind. Didn't  want to tell  him it a line from "The Office."
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 25 Aug
"Study shows single men wash bed sheets an average of four times a year." "Wow,I didn't know that, so, you're supposed to wash bed sheets?"
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 25 Aug
FYI: I don't smoke pot. It makes you stupid. I am stupid enough, Yet it is HELPS people in pain and provides better health, let it be legal.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 25 Aug
Pot smokers got less lung cancer. Academic study shows pot fights brain cancer. Study pot. It may or may not help. Find the truth. Next
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 25 Aug
Pot is more effective pain killer than addictive killer drugs. Cancer patients get muchness to eat.  Cant' overdose on pot. Legalize. Next.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 25 Aug
Audit IT people. Never let a few people be the only ones who know what they are doing. Have those who understand what they do monitor. Next.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 25 Aug
Research why prosecutions fail to convict. Not to punish, but to help police and prosecutors be more fair, objective, and correct. Next.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 25 Aug
It is hard to redistrict as similar voters tend to live together. Yet independent redistricts should make races more competitive. Next.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 25 Aug
Prohibit campaign contributions, which are legal bribes/ influencers, to candidates. Have public finance / limits on campaign spending. Next
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 25 Aug
Have all school courses at same times. Promote only when achievement in a course is reached. Promote no child until ready. Next.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 25 Aug
Negotiate within zones of agreement. Create mutual trust. We are all people who want others to  like us. Creates world peace. Next.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 25 Aug
Algae produce more energy than cane sugar, corn, oil, gas. Is cheaper to produce. Creates oxygen. Solves energy crisis + climate change Next
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 24 Aug
@munchie99 Np, they is on second. Who is on first.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 24 Aug
5 yr old boy stole Syphilis toy, give it girl. Confused parents gets angry call "your 5 year old boy gave my 5 yr old girl Syphilis"
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 24 Aug
They now label a child who likes to read as a having a disorder. Welcome to the new order: Where not reading is the new normal.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 24 Aug
It is "Batman", not "MacBeth".
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 23 Aug
@Burn_This_ Thank you for the favorite for a tweet. Mother always loved the other tweet better.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 23 Aug
@geneweingarten Political Twitter Rule 17: If you tweet a mistake, delete it, claim your account was hacked, and disavow any knowledge of it
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 23 Aug
@Choire Thank for you favoring a tweet. The tweet appreciates the recognition and will let its fellow graduates know it won some respect.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 23 Aug
How do we know a cub was born? Maybe it will grow up to become a White Sox fan.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 23 Aug
@geneweingarten !!!!!!!!!!i!!!!!!!!!!! You're right !
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 23 Aug
A money randomly typing on a keyboard wrote a great novel until he ended it with "egbfwijobregrb"
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 23 Aug
If Ben Affleck had turned down "Batman", I was next in line. Sarah Silverman would have been Robin. Eddie Deezen would have been "Superman".
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 22 Aug
To my friend who went to see Taylor Swift: Introduce me to her. She'll have a double album in no time.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 22 Aug
@LadyGrew Because of your "Bonobo" song, I get Facebook ads for Bonobo clothing. They want me to be a Bonobo, too.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 22 Aug
Ah, my last follower has been deleted. She lasted two days, and now she is gone. Good old what's her name, we hardly knew ye.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 22 Aug
How can I have 2,380 email messages in one day and no phone messages in three days>
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 22 Aug
I gather a few thousand violent demonstrators outside will be an excuse for not showing up for work.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 22 Aug
To the third of Louisiana residents polled who blame Obama for poor Katrina response:Wrong. It's Clinton's fault.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 22 Aug
You've been sentenced to 35 years imprisonment. I guess a sex change is one way to instead be sent to women's prison.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 22 Aug
@orphabruhnandre Thank you for the favorite. The computer generates these appreciations.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 22 Aug
So people laugh at any random compilation of words? @snowclones The armadillo crossed the international date line to get to the nunnery.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 22 Aug
Computer now write jokes? @snowclones That's what your mother said when she threw the telephone down the trash chute.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 22 Aug
So, Arizona, the theory that people are born with their sexual inclination is not something you consider, correct?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 22 Aug
So, a rebel Arizona student would be a straight who defies authority and becomes gay.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 22 Aug
What is about to happen in Philadelphia schools is a travesty. We know what it takes for children to succeed, and we take it all away.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 22 Aug
Well, Bradley Manning wouldn't have done well in Arizona schools.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 22 Aug
Arizona to have mandatory gay to straight classes in K to 12! So, we all have teaching of homosexuality in elementary school after all.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 22 Aug
Was it five decades ago when John Seigenthaler and I went to Dallas?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 21 Aug
Yeah! A new follower! Although I suspect her account will be suspended by tomorrow.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 21 Aug
When I met Tim Meadows, it was Leon the Ladies Man meeting Leon What the Ladies Don't Want.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 21 Aug
"Night Rider" helped the helpless and powerless. This was not a Republican show.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 21 Aug
Loud talker asks complaining woman to be quiet because she's interfering with his call. Oh, the irony!
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 21 Aug
Loud talker won't move; insists the seats are better in the quiet car. Helpful hint: the seats are all the same!
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 21 Aug
Did you know the right to speak anywhere on an Amtrak train is protected by the Constitution? I did not know that.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 21 Aug
Why do people asking people talking in quiet cars to be quiet speak louder than the people talking?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 21 Aug
Who are people who insist on speaking loudly on cell phones on quiet cars? Do they think this shows they are powerful? Or just idiots?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 21 Aug
Survey: It is New York for food, Louisiana for drink, and California for crazy women. Now if those aren't lyrics for a song....
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 21 Aug
Serious answer: It is a matter of faith who or if God is. Please don't insist your faith means others are wrong.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 21 Aug
Sorry. There might be children reading this. God went to live in a farm upstate.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 21 Aug
The question I want answered: when did time begin and what was happening before time began?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 21 Aug
Spinning atoms create all. All the universe's atoms fit into one little area where this universe began. All beings consume others to live.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 21 Aug
God did exist but He committed suicide. Next.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 21 Aug
Different species mixed to create "chicken", so the egg came first. Next.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 21 Aug
My father was a sociologist. When I grew up he explained I am the product of failed sociological theories.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 21 Aug
@thebobbieoliver Please tell me there is not such thing as Twitter dick. I sincerely hope Twitter is unable to reproduce.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 21 Aug
The enemy has met us, and has decided to just let us destroy ourselves.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 21 Aug
In the Iceberg Theory of Politics, I have always been the Titanic.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 21 Aug
Those who can't do anything criticize. Alright, then, critic it is. Either that or WaMart greeter.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 21 Aug
Wrong. "My thoughts are with you and your family, except for your ugly sister."
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 21 Aug
@MonicaHesse Good luck with your article on context improtanc. Sorry, don't know what else U wrote. I was too busy to read past the 1st line
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 21 Aug
Herb Feebus called? "Herb Feebus" does not exist on the Internet. Then again, he did call on a landline.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 21 Aug
Oh, it is daytime. For a moment there I thought the moon was especially bright.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 21 Aug
@MonicaHesse Sound bites often 9 seconds. Please explain Obamacare in 140 characters. Welcome to the Twitter generation. Not that its OK....
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 20 Aug
@thebobbieoliver Cheerio. After I light my fag I'll look into why there aren't more Brits in porn.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 20 Aug
Governor LePage: Is "Come to Maine, See Our Bearded Women" your tourism plan?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 20 Aug
In China, leftists are those who support free markets. So a U.S. right winger would actually be a Commie leftist in China.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 20 Aug
They are one of the most "musical" bands you've ever heard? What does that even mean? They don't stand and recite poetry during concerts?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 20 Aug
Governor, if you believe Obama "hates white people", are you aware what his mother was?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 20 Aug
Governor, if you believe the worse is "some women may have little beards", are you sure you aren't concerned the product isn't safe?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 20 Aug
Sign "Good till the last drop." OK for coffee shop yet not good for parachuting school.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 20 Aug
True, based on truancy rates, DC schools open with no students. But at least DC offers counselors, nurses, administrators, sports, clubs,etc
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 20 Aug
Philadelphia schools to open only with teachers: No administrators, nurses, counselors. When did we become a backwards nation?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 20 Aug
Study shows "50 Shades" encourages stalking. Lots of disappointed corn farmers ordered copies.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 20 Aug
How stupid did TV people think people were when they made 80s dramas? How stupid were people then?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 20 Aug
Wow. I wrongly assumed medical marijuana for children would be more controversial. New Jersey will start for children only.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 19 Aug
I am so glad George Zimmerman pulled Dick Van Dyke from that burning car.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 19 Aug
Ted Cruz to renounce his Canadian citizenship. I thought this was a joke at first, but it is true.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 19 Aug
The John Kruk action figure sits on a sofa eating pizza and drinking beer.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 19 Aug
@TheFix A Fox News commentary friend states your being inadequately briefed on the stress of raising children can be blamed on Obamacare.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 19 Aug
Look out Old Saybrook, you are under a terrorist attack. Oops, never mind.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 19 Aug
Georgia bought an unregulated drug for executions. The Baseball Commissioner should suspend them for an execution season and a half.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 19 Aug
The Placebo Effect is because the body often can heal itself and the mind directs towards healing. Similar to when prayer works. Next.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 18 Aug
"How are you?" "Fine." "You're just saying that because society demands it." "No, really, I am fine. How are you?" "Fine."
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 18 Aug
If an irresistible force meets an immovable object, the force will go through the object. Next.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 18 Aug
I found out people can find out on the Internet that I have never been arrested. That would just destroy my image.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 18 Aug
@thebobbieoliver Informing through comedy is powerful Laughing at things out of place make us realize some things should not be out of place
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 18 Aug
@thebobbieoliver Sadly, not everyone will get it. There are those who resist something outside their comfort zone. Talking expands that zone
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 18 Aug
@thebobbieoliver Not in person but on film. Yet I should have written to continue talking about your experiences. Inform.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 18 Aug
@thebobbieoliver You ever hear of Woody Allen? Write and talk about your experiences. Just don't marry your daughter afterwards.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 18 Aug
Those with the bigger guns win for now. The truth wins, eventually, sooner rather than later.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 18 Aug
It is illegal to follow an illegal order. Is it illegal to report that an illegal orders were followed? Isn't exposing civilian deaths good?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 18 Aug
Dear Great Britain: Detaining the boyfriend of a journalist for nine hours. Not cool. Go boil some pizza and think about what you've done.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 18 Aug
@thebobbieoliver Someone who hurts you wins when you let yourself be hurt. I see when you trusted yourself you did great.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 18 Aug
Al Jazerra America has hired John Seigenthaler, best known for Wikipedia telling us he shot JFK asa young boy.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 18 Aug
@thebobbieoliver @FlappersComedy "Coming standup comedians"? Are you allowed to show that onstage?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 18 Aug
@TwitMat78 @thebobbieoliver Doggy Style is a pet store in Philly; ironically, in what used to be the porn shop district (and my office).
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