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Tchaikovsky Sounds Funny: From Wall Tweet to Main Tweet

Is this where I put in key words such as sex, lesbians, vampires, Christopher Lloyd and others things to which this blog do not pertain, but by putting them here, I may get hits from all the Christoper Lloyd lesbian vampire fans (and you know who you are)? This is the primarily humorous and occasionally rambling writings of Leon Tchaikovsky, humor writer. Enjoy.

Sunday, August 18, 2013

From Wall Tweet to Main Tweet



It is illegal to follow an illegal order. Is it illegal to report that an illegal orders were followed? Isn't exposing civilian deaths good?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 7m
Dear Great Britain: Detaining the boyfriend of a journalist for nine hours. Not cool. Go boil some pizza and think about what you've done.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 11m
@thebobbieoliver Someone who hurts you wins when you let yourself be hurt. I see when you trusted yourself you did great.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 17m
Al Jazerra America has hired John Seigenthaler, best known for Wikipedia telling us he shot JFK asa young boy.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 2h
@thebobbieoliver @FlappersComedy "Coming standup comedians"? Are you allowed to show that onstage?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 3h
@TwitMat78 @thebobbieoliver Doggy Style is a pet store in Philly; ironically, in what used to be the porn shop district (and my office).
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 3h
I won't join a dating site. I fear a site that would let me in would only give me someone like me.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 3h
I never wrote of overcoming those who kept me down because, so far, those keeping me down have been winning.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 15h
Thank you for the link "how to tell if you are dating a sociopath". I appreciate the advice as I someday hope to upgrade to sociopaths.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 15h
How drunk was the person who thought "let's put a pumpkin into beer"?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 15h
"You can't get to heaven on the Frankford El" is just wrong, You just get off in West Philly.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 15h
Baseball is a game where one considers it progress when you fire the best manager you ever had.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 15h
@thebobbieoliver Comics joke. Hope you're fine. Do what you want to do. Me, I enjoy finding times when Justice Thomas speaks. Enjoy life.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 16h
I said we need no stock up on new ideas, not stock up on new Ikeas.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 16h
I have seen two plays in the last week I highly recommend, yet both closed after the performance I saw. I kill plays before I can save them.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 16 Aug
What? Area 51 is real? I had no idea (even though one could see it from a distance).
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 16 Aug
Somedays I say to myself "wow, I lived through that" and then I wonder how many more of those I have.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 16 Aug
@petridishes That's right. Favorite the tweet but don't answer it. A simple "fine" would suffice. And don't ask me about my rash.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 16 Aug
@petridishes So, how are you?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 15 Aug
@KimCpates So marsala are these mushrooms?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 15 Aug
@munchie99 Bozo and Emitt Kelly would refuse to fight to the death. Of course, they both are dead, so what do I know?,
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 15 Aug
@jenninestampkao Thank you for the favorite. I deeply appreciate it. From those we have never met comes the insight we never got,
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 15 Aug
Live life in the preset There really is no alternative,
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 15 Aug
@munchie99 Thank you for the favorite and following. I appreciate it. No joke. I am out of jokes at this time. Call me in the morning.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 15 Aug
If this is the end, thank you for all the fish. No, not a Douglas Adams thing. I was a fish - vegetarian.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 15 Aug
If I am dying, let this be my last words: "What? You expected some wisdom here? I am a human who doesn't know or understand crap."
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 15 Aug
What kind of a narcissist God would create me and then demand loyalty to Him without proving He even exists?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 15 Aug
Yes, there are Mennonites who blend in with society. If we suspect God may be misrepresented, we blend in quite well.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 15 Aug
At my age, all my friends my age are cancer survivals. I feel underwhelmed being in good health.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 15 Aug
FYI: We Amish bad boys found the moonshine,  Can you tell?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 15 Aug
Resolved: If yo u don't get a response after 40 years, you probable are not getting one,
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 15 Aug
Thank you, anonymous Broadway actor. I love that late wife and I supported you and that you appreciate our support, My support continues
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 15 Aug
I shall always love that my inhibited -ex now models fashions that even I find distasteful.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 15 Aug
If I ever do die someday soon, remember that I loved you all, whoever the hell all you followers are.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 15 Aug
@munchie99 Thank you lots for the favorite. The tweet now can overcome emotional issues. Viva Gene Weingarthen!
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 15 Aug
I love this Syrian Electronics website. I gave them a big order with my credit card.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 15 Aug
Study shows computer lights cause depression. So if you are reading this and are happy, you are abnormal.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 15 Aug
@geneweingarten There are no original ideas Hey, I just came up with that. That might be the first original idea ever.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 15 Aug
Yes, Mitch McConnell has come Washington. What did you expect, for him to go Hollywood?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 15 Aug
Study shows using Facebook makes one sad. Of course. I see every time how much better off my classmates are. Next time go to a loser school.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 15 Aug
Remember, if you unfollow me, a puppy and a kitten dies, and an angel's wings are cut off and put into a Big Mac.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 15 Aug
You can stay at the hotel where they filmed "Rocky Horror Picture Show". Just don't order the meatloaf.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 15 Aug
@TheFix @b_fung @washingtonpost I thought Jeff Bezos bought the Syrian Electronics.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 15 Aug
@TheFix @AaronBlakeWP Oh, you meant they discovered a real new carnivore. I thought you meant they discovered a new Kentucky politician.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 15 Aug
With Anthony, that is a camera in his pocket and he is happy to see you (on Twitter).
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 15 Aug
@thebobbieoliver Ever time I ride up to a woman on a horse and ask her what she wants, she takes the horse.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 15 Aug
@thebobbieoliver Anyone who courts you riding a donkey just wants to show you his ass. And also his burro.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 15 Aug
@thebobbieoliver Seven dwarfs hookers in Vegas: $1400. One naked prince in Vegas: priceless.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 15 Aug
@thebobbieoliver "Awnings": Georgia plural of a physical thing as spoken when intoxicated, as in "Y'all got lots of bugs awnings."
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 15 Aug
@geneweingarten Not even a veteran. Yet I know proud parents of Penn Vet graduates.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 15 Aug
Note: Do not spend $750,000 of campaign contributions on personal expenses. Just in case you are unsure on that point.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 15 Aug
@geneweingarten H.D. went to Penn, where I went (good vet school), where she became the first poet in High Definition.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 15 Aug
@geneweingarten "Bust out laughing" is a flawed version. I like "laughed so hard I peed, and pooped, and had to be take to the ER."
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 14 Aug
I offered to buy the Washington Post but I was outbid by $250 million.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 14 Aug
Lead lowers IQ, now believed may make children grow up more violent and more apt to become criminals. "Get the lead out" should be our motto
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 14 Aug
Remember, China does not have a copyright tradition. My friends filming for China may get seen by a billion people. Get the money upfront.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 14 Aug
When you realize you left the baby somewhere and you find you left the baby in the liquor store, there may be a lesson there.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 14 Aug
@PsychicWaugh Every Valentines I get a romantic card about living in Allentown. It just melts the heart.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 14 Aug
New York Times website announces two day delivery---of their website content.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 14 Aug
The law says we cut aid to new governments overthrowing old ones. Sometimes you have to step aside and admit you can't change what others do
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 14 Aug
Thank you New Yorkers for paying more attention to Bill de Blasio while comics pay attention to Anthony what's his name.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 14 Aug
I flew into San Diego and my arms are tired. Spent the entire flight deflecting Bob Filner from groping flight attendants.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 13 Aug
"JFK blown away, what else do I have to say?" apparently is NOT what others consider great romantic poetry.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 13 Aug
Hooters won't serve Bob Filner. They don't want guests who will objectify their servers.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 13 Aug
@petridishes (Overheard in Orlando) Is that a puppy in your pants, or are you Anthony Weiner?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 13 Aug
Dear Swiss sales personnel: In general, if an American can afford to travel to Switzerland, she is not poor. Let Oprah see the bag.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 13 Aug
To the man who shoved puppies down his pants: Even Anthony Weiner thinks you're weird.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 13 Aug
I am against airlines merger. I believe it is safer if they fly the planes separately rather than together.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 12 Aug
That should be RHP, not RIP. Tonight's starting pitcher did not die.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 12 Aug
As least in DC Mayoral candidates break regular criminal rules.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 12 Aug
Best negative ad not run: "If he can't control what he sends on Twitter, can we expect him to control government spending?"
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 12 Aug
I want to run for New York Mayor just so I can march in the Dominican parade.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 12 Aug
"Get off my lawn" says the senile guy living in an apartment building.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 10 Aug
FYI: I let my old scripts out to the public so they won't die, even if I die. Of course they already died so there is a lot of death around.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 10 Aug
Paid cash yesterday to see "Capitol Steps". Today YouTube recommends "Capitol Steps" videos. How does the Internet know I was there?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 10 Aug
Bernie Madoff considering running for Borough President.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 10 Aug
@geneweingarten This is the tweet that never ends, it goes on and on my friend, someone starting tweeting not knowing wh(oops doesn't work)
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 9 Aug
There is a Ron Paul Channel. Which every former Presidential candidate get their own TV channel?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 9 Aug
Stop booing A Rod. You never know what someone on drugs might do.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 9 Aug
@petridishes "What ho" is British. I heard Hugh Grant so it to his new girlfriend.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 9 Aug
Couple disappointed to learn the gay marriage certificate is the same as the straight marriage certificate? What did they expect?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 9 Aug
After all, these tweets are all jokes, and of course I was just joking (no I wasn't) about all that silly Navy stuff that never happened.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 9 Aug
A Navy Seal threatened my life if I told anyone, so let's just keep the past tweets a secret amongst us, OK?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 9 Aug
The military should conclude that unfortunate accidents happen. I mean, use this to justify invading another country.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 9 Aug
I recall the order went out canceling the war games because a sub accidentally shot down a plane. I mean, Bin Laden shot down a plane.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 9 Aug
Tthe US Navy was conducting war games when Flight 800 encroached military space and a Navy missile exploded nearby. Bin Laden will be blamed
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 9 Aug
@jeanbowlingdani Anytime someone favorites my mentioning Hitler, I feel special. Thank you for the favorite
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 9 Aug
Paul Ryan-Mark Sanford in 2016: Run the Appalachian Trail in under two hours.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 9 Aug
Anyone notice no one is mentioning Mitt Romney for President in 2016? What happened to all you saying he was the best person for the job?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 9 Aug
@thebobbieoliver Sorry, even Willie Nelson's Pot Party believes there is a talking snake.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 9 Aug
@petridishes You know, even Hitler had a dog.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 9 Aug
Jesse Benton: You may have to hold your nose when Mitch McConnell slaps your nose. #NoseGate
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 8 Aug
Karen Black was also good to us. We appreciate her riding to us and we wish her a good ride from here on.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 8 Aug
Bad Porn Movie: WeinerNado.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 8 Aug
Also, a Police Chief should not mention someone's name and then fire an automatic weapon. Someone might take that the wrong way.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 8 Aug
Why I deleted my video: It was NOT meant to be liked: 1.) a shooting rage is not cool, 2.) he is lucky he did not accidentally shoot himself
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 8 Aug
Oh, "Geek Week". At least those Mythological references still resonated.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 8 Aug
I will miss Margaret Pellegrini. She was always she a warm and positive person. One doesn't find that often these days.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 8 Aug
Am I the only person Bib Filner didn't hit on?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 8 Aug
If you would walk a thousand miles for your city, will you please at lest stop tweeting photos of your junk?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 7 Aug
@thebobbieoliver May you be sick enough to get a medical marijuana card yet well enough to not really need one.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 7 Aug
If you'd crawl a million miles to be with me, why won't you drive to the corner store for me?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 6 Aug
QUICK, TURN ON YOUR TV. Study indicates Twitter induces people to turn on their television. WOW, DID YOU VIEW THAT?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 6 Aug
Buying the Washington Post is 1% of Jeff Bezoz's wealth. Buying a copy of the Post is 1% of my wealth.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 5 Aug
Happy Shark Week. Hug a lawyer.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 5 Aug
If baseball had not suspended Alex Rodriquez, he could have bought the Washington Post.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 5 Aug
If these walls could talk, I'd totally freak out that walls could talk.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 5 Aug
http://Amazon.com  products will be shipped in Washington Post newspapers. #ITrustDonGraham
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 5 Aug
It is good Jeff Bezos bought the Post. If he makes $7 billion with Amazon, by adding the Post, he'll still be $6 billion richer.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 5 Aug
It is exciting every time a double A baseball player like Alex Rodriquez of the Trenton Thunders gets promoted to the major league.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 5 Aug
Alex Rodriquez seeks to rebuild his image by running for public office in New York City.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 5 Aug
To Washington Post employees on vacation this week, you may find your desks for sale on http://amazon.com .
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 5 Aug
Who yesterday ordered 1,000 Nook tablets to be delivered to the Washington Post?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 5 Aug
If you buy over $25 of Washington Posts, the shipping will be free.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 5 Aug
Will Jeff Bezos have the Washington Post as the first newspaper printed in space?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 5 Aug
Jeff Bezos buys the Washington Post for $250 million. Dude, you could have flown to DC and bought a copy for a buck.
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 5 Aug
Free Washington Post with every http://Amazon.com  purchase?
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 5 Aug
Perhaps it is a good thing that a reporter does not know what "smoke a J" means. (It does mean to smoke a Jamaican cigar, right?)
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 Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit 5 Aug
When Fox News claims the Democrats control the media, how hard is it for them to contain their laughter?
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