The Art of Communication is Dying and Others Reasons You Should Just Shut up and Listen

I attended a bris. It was a deeply moving service. It was so moving that, when it was done, I yelled “encore!” Was that wrong?

A member of Congress says he has “an honorable explanation” for why he kept thousands of dollars in his freezer. Meanwhile, a group in Canada buys three tons of sodium nitrate. I guess there never really is a shortage of manure going around.

Nigerian militants today announced they were going to free some hostages. But only if thousands more of Internet users first send them their bank account numbers so they may move their inheritances to a British bank.

Mark Warner spent $100,000 on bloggers last weekend. Mark, there must have been an oversight: you forgot me. Where’s my check?

The art of communication is dying. I made two recent observations on this. First, I was at first pleasantly surprised to see a group of people in a sports restaurant fixated on a World Cup match between Sweden and Trinidad and Tobago. The group of them sat silently for almost an hour watching every play. Finally, one of them said “what on earth are we watching?” To which another replied “I don’t know.” The game was 0 to 0, and would end a scoreless tie. Someone then asked “who’s winning?” Someone replied “don’t know.” Yet, they continued watching every move. Actually, I guess they were receiving communications, but the messages were not reaching the brain.

My second observation comes from those medium-speak-to-the-dead TV shows that are shown. I note that the dead have a really hard time spitting things out. I think this is a product of our poor schools. We do not teach children how to effectively communicate, and those poor skills obviously follow us in death. We need to improve our speaking skills from childhood on, because in death, it is going to be really troublesome when the medium can’t make out what you’re saying.

I note how Sarah Silverman has pushed the envelope on making jokes about Martin Luther King. As Sarah Silverman says it herself, she doesn’t care if you call her a racist, just as long as you states she’s beautiful. So, Sarah, here it is. You’re a racist. But you are beautiful. (P.S. Jimmy Kimmel: way to go.)

The only known copy of the first printing of the U.S. Constitution is being sold. It is expected to fetch about $150,000. The first photographs of Brad Pitt’s and Angelina Jolie’s baby are expected to fetch several million dollars. Yes, America, we know our priorities.

Parenting in Hollywood is different than parenting elsewhere. Only in the L.A. area do you hear parents yelling at their children “stop playing outside and come inside and study your televisions shows.”