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Tchaikovsky Sounds Funny: Photographs Destroying Politicians' Careers

Is this where I put in key words such as sex, lesbians, vampires, Christopher Lloyd and others things to which this blog do not pertain, but by putting them here, I may get hits from all the Christoper Lloyd lesbian vampire fans (and you know who you are)? This is the primarily humorous and occasionally rambling writings of Leon Tchaikovsky, humor writer. Enjoy.

Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Photographs Destroying Politicians' Careers

Speaker Ben this past month traveled to Washington, D.C. to see state legislators from all around the country. Ben is glad that this democracy idea seems to be taking shape. Ben was disappointed that most of these politicians did not want to have their photograph taken him. Ben could not figure this out. He had ideas that they could be photographed together driving a tank or windsurfing, but no one wanted to do it.

Finally, one brave soul agreed to display the courage to be photographed with Speaker Ben. State Rep. Jan Pauls had her picture taken with Ben. Ben learned Jan Pauls is a Democrat. Ben now realizes what we all already know: Democrats are the best. Jan is an attorney and the ranking Minority Member of the House Judiciary Committee in Kansas. Ben is also glad to learn that the western territories have organized into states.

Speaker Ben ran into Allyce Beasley at a collectors show. Ben would collect things, except most collectibles were created after Ben’s time and Ben doesn’t know what they are. Allyce Beasley had the role of Agnes DiPesto on the TV series “Moonlighting” as well as Coach’s daughter on “Cheers”. Allyce spent part of her childhood in Emmaus, Pa. when her father was Marketing Director for Rodale Publishers. She recalled the joys of playing Robin Hood with her friends in the nearby forest, and how her friends made her be the Royal Food Tester so her character would die early in the game. Speaker Ben felt said for Allyce and is glad to learn that she has been doing well as the voice for several cartoon characters such as Miss Grotke on “Recess: Taking the Fifth Grade.”

Speaker Ben met Barry Jenner. Barry had the roles of Admiral Bill Ross on “Star Trek: Deep Space Nine” (the concept of which escapes Ben, who still thinks anything faster than a horse is too dangerous), Lt. Lieu Murtaugh on “Family Matters”, Jerry Kenderson on “Dallas”, and Jeff Cunningham on “Knots Landing”. Barry grew up in North Philadelphia and Northeast Philadelphia. He then went to West Chester College before graduating into space travel. Ben admires the quality of education at West Chester.

Speaker Ben attempted to challenge Nikolai Volkoff to a wrestling match, but quickly realized they were not in the same weight class. Nikolai defected from the Yugoslavia weightlifting team in Canada. He then came to America and became a famous professional wrestler. He is now a Code Enforcement Officer in Baltimore and is a candidate for the Maryland House of Delegates. He still wrestles every last Friday of the month for fundraisers at the York Firehouse. Ben thus is assured the firehouse is up to code.

Speaker Ben learned what a “supermodel” is when he met Chanel Ryan. Chanel was born in and lived in Allentown. She later lived in Whitehall and Danielsville. When not modeling, Chanel has been in movies such as “BASEketball.” We notice Speaker Ben was too embarrassed to face Chanel in his photograph. Speaker Ben must have feared this photograph will ruin his political career.

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