Peace Out, Killer Deer

You are more likely to be killed by a deer than you are a shark. Sure enough, the last time I was at the beach, sure enough, a vicious deer swam out and attacked me.

The Washington Post is asking for regional interpretations of the Pledge of Allegiance. I have one for Pennsylvanians: “Yo, give it up for the man’s colors. Peace out.”

I keep seeing GOD on the highway, rolling down the road past me. Of course, the trucks are for Guarantee Overnight Delivery. Yet, surely they were aware of what they were doing when they put GOD in big letters on the side of their truck. I wonder if there is only true, correct Guarantee Overnight Delivery, and all others are heretical wannabes?