Tchaikovsky Sounds Funny: Buy Hezbollah Products for Your Christmas List

Is this where I put in key words such as sex, lesbians, vampires, Christopher Lloyd and others things to which this blog do not pertain, but by putting them here, I may get hits from all the Christoper Lloyd lesbian vampire fans (and you know who you are)? This is the primarily humorous and occasionally rambling writings of Leon Tchaikovsky, humor writer. Enjoy.

Sunday, June 12, 2005

Buy Hezbollah Products for Your Christmas List

Hezbollah sells items on its website. This intrigues me. I have the following set of questions:
1. Does Hezbollah send orders to the United States?
2. If Hezbollah sends a package to the United States, will U.S. Mail deliver it?
3. If U.S. Mail will deliver a package to me from Hezbollah to me, should I open it?
4. Does Hezbollah take VISA?
5. Do I dare give Hezbollah my VISA number?
6. If I am unhappy with my purchase, will VISA mediate our dispute?
7. Tchaikovsky sounds Jewish. Does Hezbollah sell items to Jewish sounding names?
8. If Hezbollah will not sell to Jews, can this be disputed with VISA?

If instead of buying items for Hezbollah but you are a NASCAR collector, I should forewarn you: if your NASCAR collectible is worth more than your car is worth, you may have a problem.

And now a joke for the Hollywood elite to tell during their tea parties: “Whenever my wife says she’ll be ready in a minute, I just put in a Marcel Ophuls film and wait.”

Sometimes the funniest things are what people honestly say. My intern actually said “isn’t it ironic that Lou Gehrig would die of the same disease they named after him?” I guess he is so used to celebrity diseases that it never occurred to him that there was another possibility. At least we know some celebrities are no likely to get their celebrity ailment. I doubt Sally Struthers will ever starve to death.

I know a couple who are so dumb that, since they want twins, so they use double condoms.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

What, no discount coupons?

1:59 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hezbollah products are a blast. I am dying to put in my order.

7:39 PM


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