Maybe The Whig Party Should Modernize and Become the Toupee Party

The Whig Party National Committee has adopted a slogan, which can be used by many entities within the United States: “Entering the 20th Century In Time for the 21st Century”. The Whigs have received some flack over their endorsement of gay marriage, but remember: these are men who wear wigs. What did you expect?

It has been announced that someone did a study that shows that children who watch more television and study less tend to get worse grades in school than students who study more and watch less television. This study was obviously conducted by someone who watched a lot of television as a child.

Speaking of television, I have some advice I wish to provide as a public service. If your wife announces that the Jerry Springer show is flying you both free of charge to be on the show, and that your neighbors are going too, along with your brother, you should be able to figure out what’s going to happen next. If not, email me, and I’ll explain.