Another Day of the Tweet

@michaelworkma13 Thank you for saying "I'm so fine", but I'm not a girl. I am a helicopter cat with bacon taped on him.
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6h Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Lost in Space #politicalsitcoms
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6h Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
The Twilight Zone #politicalsitcoms
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6h Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
To Tell the Truth #politicalsitcoms
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6h Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
The Glenn Beck Show #politicalsitcoms
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6h Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
The Walking Dead #politicalsitcoms
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6h Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Let's Make a Deal #politicalsitcoms
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9h Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
I have theater tickets Dec. 22. I hope I see the whole show before the world ends.
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9h Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
A charity is auctioning tickets to a free show. I hope those with losing bids realize they can still see the show.
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9h Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: #YouNeedToUnderstandThat #WeCantBeFriends if #GanghamStyle is #Dead
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10h Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@geneweingarten @michaelhayes This fad will likely fad away once it reaches Chivas Regaling.
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12h Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes Your interview makes me carminative.
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22h Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
My "World Ended Yesterday" lecture is Dec. 23. Interesting. No one has registered for it.
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6 Dec Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@MonicaHesse You're lucky. Where I work, someone keeps asking for a live chicken.
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6 Dec Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
They should start allowing priests to marry, but incrementally. Just let them first be able to marry each other.
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5 Dec Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: #HowToReplyToILoveYou probably should not be #ILoveMyPhone
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5 Dec Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes @HayesBrown The key to success is to never achieve mediocrity.
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4 Dec Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes The Post lists you for today. This is fine, we'll just camp out outside the Internet for a week.
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4 Dec Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes Your are tweeting while still a bit late for your 2 pm appointment?
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4 Dec Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
49% of Republicans think ACORN stole the election. Not the defunct organization, but actual acorns from trees fell and changed the results.
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4 Dec Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
If you are having a heart attack, take deep breaths and cough loud enough until your neighbors call 911 complaining about the noise.
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4 Dec Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Eddie Murphy beat me out for most overpaid actor in Hollywood.
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3 Dec Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Who will win the Zombie American vote in 2016?
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3 Dec Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
To those buying guns because you think Obama is going to stop their sales: Let's see what i have to sell you...
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3 Dec Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Willard Mitt #RoyalBaby Name
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2 Dec Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending" #MentionSomeonePretty such as the zombies on #WalkingDead
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2 Dec Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Las Vegas is for crabs. #RejectedVegasSlogans
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2 Dec Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
I love New York. #RejectedVegasSlogans
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2 Dec Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Where Penn and Teller can make all your money disappear. #RejectedVegasSlogans
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2 Dec Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: #ProudToBeAFan of #TheGrinch
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2 Dec Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
We have slot machines in the airport. You never have to even leave the airport. #RejectedVegasSlogans
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2 Dec Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
If you lose all your money, you can work wearing a Donald Duck outfit posing for tourist photos. #RejectedVegasSlogans
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2 Dec Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Where space aliens crash, probably because of the Luxor light. #RejectedVegasSlgoans
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2 Dec Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Where the air contains remnants of past nuclear tests. #RejectedVegasSlogans
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2 Dec Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Have the kids get their photos taken with a serial killer wearing a Little Kitty outfit. #RejectedVegasSlogans
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2 Dec Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Where else can you get free limo rides to see fat senior citizen strippers? #RejectedVegasSlogans
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2 Dec Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
We have bars kept at 5 degrees below zero, just like in Pennsylvania in winter. #RejectedVegasSlogans
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2 Dec Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Our Eiffel Tower is half the size of the real thing, but you really want to fly to Paris to see the full one? #RejectedVegasSlogans
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2 Dec Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Where else can be can a quickie marriage and a quickie divorce from a hooker? #RejectedVegasSlogans
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2 Dec Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Some of the buffet food is actually edible. #RejectedVegasSlogans
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2 Dec Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Where else can you sit on a crapper and play the slots? #RejectedVegasSlogans
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2 Dec Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Come see the Elvis Museum, oops, sorry, closed. See the Liberace Museum, oops, sorry closed. #RejectedVegasSlogans
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2 Dec Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
The second best city to gamble in all of Nevada. #RejectedVegasSlogans
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2 Dec Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
If you can afford him, keep Oscar Goodman's phone number with you at all times. #RejectedVegasSlogans
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2 Dec Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
If they never let Sammy Davis Jr.. leave, what makes you think you're getting out. #RejectedVegasSlogans
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2 Dec Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Where no one gambling smiles, but we casino owners are jubilant. #RejectedVegasSlogans
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2 Dec Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
An undercover cop in your room in 20 minutes. #RejectedVegasSlogans
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2 Dec Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Where the bright lights and noise never ceases, and you can't sleep one bit. #RejectedVegasSlogans
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2 Dec Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Where the waters dance at the Bellagio, women dance on the casino floors, and your money dances into our pockets. #RejectedVegasSlogans
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2 Dec Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Where the Mob is now a museum and large corporations now take all your money. #RejectedVegasSlogans
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2 Dec Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Shoot an Uzi, ride the zip line, eat a quadruple bypass burger, and for real thrills, see Carrot Top. #RejectedVegasSlogans
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2 Dec Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
The only winners are named Wynn. #RejectedVegasSlogans
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2 Dec Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
What Happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas, Including Your Life Savings and Then Some. #RejectedVegasSlogans
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2 Dec Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
An STD delivered to your room in 20 minutes. #RejectedVegasSlogans
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2 Dec Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: #MentionSomeonePretty: #TwoDollarSubs
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2 Dec Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Notice how many people who stated Obama hates America signed a petition to succeed from the Union.
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2 Dec Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
I have three reasons why Rick Perry would make a great candidate. As soon as I remember the third reason...
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2 Dec Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
So the literal Biblical translation of "men" is "those who pee against the wall." But, I know women who can pee against a wall...
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1 Dec Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Thank you Rosa Parks. Your gallant struggle allowed us white people to be able to sit in those seats in the back of the bus.
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1 Dec Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@geneweingarten I have known Jeanne Weinberger closely for years now.
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30 Nov Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: Donald Trump's #5ThingsOnMyChristmasList include #GOP and #NewYork
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30 Nov Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
The Sound of Music #RejectedBondTitles
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29 Nov Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
When i order my food, I order it gangnam style.
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29 Nov Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes I got your name tattooed on my face. Oops, your name isn't "Alexander", is it? I may have some explaining to do with the guys.
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29 Nov Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Momma Mia! #RejectedBondTitles
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29 Nov Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Lindsay Lohan arrested again. (I just keep this tweet on automatic repeat every few days.)
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29 Nov Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
I was raised by wolves. Irving and Martha Wolve.
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29 Nov Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
The Man With the Golden Shower #RejectedBondTitles
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29 Nov Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Octopussy #RejectedBondTitles No, wait, that one slipped through.
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29 Nov Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
The Spy Who Loved Meetings #RejectedBondTitles
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29 Nov Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Dr. Nah #RejectedBondTitles
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29 Nov Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Thunderballing #RejectedBondTitles
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29 Nov Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
To Russia With Love and STDs #RejectedBondTitles
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29 Nov Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Goldmiddlefinger #RejectBondTitles
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28 Nov Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@selenacrane13 @CapriGalk20 I could be wrong, but are you hyping CapriGalk20? #CapriGalk20 (whatever that is)
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28 Nov Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
You are more apt to have a tiger jump into your life raft than you are to win the Powerball. I hate it when a tiger does jumps into my raft.
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28 Nov Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
#4WordsAftaSex include "Live long and prosper", said the virgin.
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28 Nov Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
#4WordsAftaSex include "your mother was better."
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28 Nov Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: #4WordsAftaSex include #HappyHumpDay (which is three words, but who is counting?)
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22 Nov Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Ate like the Pilgrims. Now I feel like burning some witches.
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22 Nov Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Visited grave of my Mohegan great-great grandmother and thanked her and her relatives for the land.
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16 Nov Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
You an take away my Twinkie when you peal it from my dead hands. Wait, I don't like Twinkies. #Twinkies #Hostess
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15 Nov Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes A Tauntaun sins if its spits at its parents.
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15 Nov Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes Some Klingons are Calvinists yet more are Hobbesians.
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15 Nov Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes Kortar Klingons deny transubstantiation as an affront to their religion. Atheist Klingons favor any new source of wine.
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15 Nov Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Black Friday will now start at 12:01 am Thanksgiving day.
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15 Nov Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@TheRobertBriggs Thank you for the retweet. Lots of great ideas for Hamas bumper stickers, assuming the bumper hasn't been blown off.
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14 Nov Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Where is Netanyahu's birth certificate? #HamasBumperStickers
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14 Nov Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@GeneralPetraeus I only have 28 followers, so we will be able to keep our affair a secret.
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14 Nov Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@GeneralPetraeus The first 29,000 emails were flattering, but seriously, the last 1,000 are getting a bit creepy.
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12 Nov Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Fired an Uzi, jumped from 5th floor, and oddly the most danger I was in: flat tire on the highway,.
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12 Nov Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
I see binders full of women won elections.
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12 Nov Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
I'm a doctor, not an economist. #startrekfiscalcliff
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3 Nov Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Visited old childhood home after the storm. No electricity, no windows, roof gone. Just as it was when I was young.
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2 Nov Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Even though the New York Marathon has been canceled, Paul Ryan ran it in under three hours.
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6:30 PM - 2 Nov 12 · Details
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2 Nov Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes You may research from my paper on procrastination that I wrote..oh, wait...never mind. Procrastinators unite! Because we won't!
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2 Nov Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
#FollowFriday. You should follow @sexiestlyingwit as I hear he connects on a joke every once in awhile,
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2 Nov Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes Would you put your economy in the hands of someone who got a B minus in Intermediate Macroeconomics?
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2 Nov Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Unemployment is 7.9%. I am voting for Obama. If it were eat 8.0% I would have voted for Romney.
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2 Nov Leon Tchaikovsky ‏@SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: #HowToPissOffAGirl is to tell her you're in the #NYCMarathon when you're really pub hopping in #StatenIsland
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