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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes Just checking that #iloveyouyourethebest was not meant for Rush Limbaugh
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29m

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes I am sure you are human and have tears. Although we suspect you someday will merge assets rather than marry.
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8h

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
Cowboys won. Was there anything else on TV last night?
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8h

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes "All I got were these lousy Twitter followers"? Well, we appreciate knowing what you really think of us.
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8h

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
Clinton says Obama had the good sense to marry Michelle. Michelle, if things don't work out, you can always call Bill.
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8h

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
"Four more years!" Oh, you meant for Obama. I thought they were cheering to bring back Bill Clinton.
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8h

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes You know you've reached the mid-point of a Bill Clinton speech when he states "In conclusion". Actual fact from past,
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17h

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
Current score: New York Giants 3, Democratic National Convention 0 @TheFix
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17h

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
My friends are always by my side whenever they need me.
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17h

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
Oogiieloves take over DNC. Butterflies for when mentioning Obama all stand up. Turtles for when mentioning Romney: all sit down.
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22h

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes For the record, if you are ever in Cleveland and think you see a whale, it is not a whale.
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5 Sep

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
Actually, Swiss bank accounts is where bridge building money wound up....
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5 Sep

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
If Republicans were in charge of Easter, they would make children pay for each egg they find.
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4 Sep

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
Why isn't former Rep. James Trafficant among tonight's speakers? #DNC2012
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4 Sep

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
Wait: So those Scientologists selling things on the street are being punished? But they all look so happy.
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4 Sep

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
What newly paranoid right wingers think the United Nations will invade us with: #LittleBlackSubmarines
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4 Sep

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
Obama leads in 10 swing states, though lead is under 3% in 4 of them, Romney leads in 1 swing state by less than 2%, and Florida is even.
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4 Sep

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
@chaneyj I demand you see the Oogielloves and blog about their...umm...concert?...baseball playing?....weird sex club?
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4 Sep

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
@TheFix Wait, pumpkin spice lattes have returned?
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4 Sep

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
Sen. Schumer states there will be 15 to 20 Koch brothers in 2020. Wow. I wonder what Mrs. Koch thinks of these plans.
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3 Sep

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
I once ran under three hours. Of course, it was a 50 yard dash. #TruthinLeon
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3 Sep

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
Paul Ryan's marathon time of under three hours checks with Congressional budget math. #LyinRyan
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3 Sep

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
Rosie Ruiz has endorsed Paul Ryan for Vice President. #LyinRyan
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3 Sep

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
I made best sellers lists!: Our Maine Guy #1,772,716, Hitting Bottom #1,837,078, Last Soldier to Die #4,319,417
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2 Sep

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
Running a 4 hour marathon in under 3 hours is like balancing the budget by lowering taxes on the rich. #LyinRyan
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2 Sep

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
Paul Ryan against abortion in cases of rape and incest. Even Todd Akin didn't try to defend the incest issue. #LyinRyan
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2 Sep

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
Paul Ryan wanted Fed bailout of hometown plant that closed under Bush. Too bad Obama wasn't President then, Paul. #LyinRyan
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2 Sep

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
Paul Ryan could see Russia while running his marathon. #LyinRyan
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1 Sep

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
Why is it all homeless are veterans? Is this part of the enlistment package?
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1 Sep

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
My other box is a Dunder Mufflin box. #MyHomelessSignWouldSay
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1 Sep

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
Too bad no one made a Reagan hologram. It would have been great if it then was accidentally turned on to sit in Clint Eastwood's chair.
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1 Sep

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
Spam of the day: "Do you sleep in a bed? You could be in danger." Frankly, I am more fearful of those who don't sleep in beds.
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31 Aug

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
Networks are granting an equal time response to Clint Eastwood's speech to Charlie Sheen.
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30 Aug

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
Sadly, Clint Eastwood really thought Obama was there sitting in that chair.
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30 Aug

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
White House to release its beer recipe. Sure, but will they release the long form of the recipe?
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30 Aug

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
MTV cancels "Jersey Shore". Oh, no, now beach goers have no reach to drink at shore bars.
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24 Aug

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
Now trending:: #ThingsComicsSayToEachOther includes commenting on #USAntiDopingAgnency findings. Too many doped comics in the business,
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23 Aug

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
Gangsters went to prison for tax evasion paying higher higher taxes or for charging interest rates lower than do politics and banks today.
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23 Aug

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
Of course Claire McCaskill should drop out of the race: What sane person wants to be in the U.S. Senate?
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23 Aug

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes Young people are traumatized thinking people are pixelated.
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23 Aug

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes The friends and family of Clippy appreciate your remembering him. We recall his arrogance in wanting to know what you're doing.
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23 Aug

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
Remember, the key credential to whether someone should be President is whether or not they ever ate dog meat as a child.
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23 Aug

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
Interesting that books by conservatives are outselling books by liberals. Then again, conservatives can better afford to buy more books
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23 Aug

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
@ParentsProgram Thanks for the retweet about politicians needing to read your materials. My jokes are in fact reality. Good luck.
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23 Aug

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
@RTrendsetters Tnanks for the retweet. I never knew I was a trendsetter. The world is in trouble.
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23 Aug

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
@UmphreyJackson Great hearing from you. Go produce songs. Don't listen to the guy who says it needs more cowbell. Or more tuba.
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23 Aug

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes CBS is worried because Ann Romney is listed as giving the speech while dancing with Justin Timberlake.
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23 Aug

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
In bad Romney erotic fiction, you are tied to the roof of his car while trained horses prance around you.
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23 Aug

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes Are you having dreams yet about monetary discipline and fiscal stimulus?
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22 Aug

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
A Republican State Senator claims HIV does not spread thru heterosexual sex. Republicans: stop defunding Planned Parenthood; read their info
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22 Aug

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
Wait, Kurt Cobain has always been dead? When did this happen?
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22 Aug

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
Whenever my friends need me, they are right there beside me.
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22 Aug

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
Wow, my "Hitting Bottom" debuted at number 257,331 on the sales chart. It is a hit!
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22 Aug

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
My "Hitting Bottom" is now available on http://amazon.com . You know you have hit bottom if you buy a copy. #Sex #Lesbians #HollywoodSpoof
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22 Aug

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
@geneweingarten Now, now, I was just skinny dipping on my trip to Israel, Nothing wrong with that. The FBI agrees.
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21 Aug

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
I hear the Republican National Convention may be a stormy one. The nominations will be a breeze. Will a hurricane uplift this ticket?
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21 Aug

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
My "Sixth Dimension" is now available on http://amazon.com so you should buy copies in this dimension---while you still can.
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21 Aug

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: #10FavoriteGames includes swimming from #CubaToFlorida
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21 Aug

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
Here are the rules: A member of Congress may be naked in public, but may not tweet a photo of it.
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21 Aug

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
Since when did friends begin resembling the back of hands?
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20 Aug

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: #FailedMusicals includes the one based on the life of #ToddAkin
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20 Aug

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
My "Our Maine Guy" is now available on http://amazon.com . Make it your main priority to buy multiple copies, extra copies for enemies.
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20 Aug

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
Todd Akin criticizes Claire McCaskill for supporting Planned Parenthood. Todd Akin needs to read some Planned Parenthood literature.
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17 Aug

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
@PaulRyan Don't fret, Rom Morello states he especially hates me.
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15 Aug

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
"that gritty prison drama Oz". Well, in awhile, this too will appear in a Google search.
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15 Aug

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
@MIittRomney When you own wife says she'd "be curious to see what's in" your undisclosed tax returns too, you know you can't release them.
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15 Aug

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
@KristinStewart You cheat on your guy, the studio cheats you. Welcome to Hollywood.
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14 Aug

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
10% approve of Congress. Who are these delusional 10% anyway?
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14 Aug

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
@Pope The butler did it.
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14 Aug

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: #SevenPsychopaths includes #PaulRyan
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14 Aug

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
@rashidajones I am sure John Travolta will accept your apology. Besides, he is used to thoughtless comments. Maybe even made a few..as did I
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14 Aug

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
RIP Ron Palilio. He was working on a play a friend was going to do. He was a great wit and will be missed.
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14 Aug

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
Stop dating Taylor Swift. She will only write a song about how mean to her you are.
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13 Aug

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
I hate finding out who most viewed my tweets. It is always the same FBI Special Agents.
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13 Aug

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
Has Shark Week become too commercial and has it finally jumped the shark, which, watching a shark jump a shark might actually be cool?
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12 Aug

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: #ThingsThatKeepMeAwakeAtNight include #PaulRyan
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12 Aug

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
@TheFix Kyle Chandler could portray Paul Ryan in the movie version, not, of course, that there will be a movie version of this election...
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11 Aug

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
So Romney picked Ryan O'Neill to play the VP role. Good choice.
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11 Aug

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
@TheFix Oreos, like pizza, are not just for breakfast. They can be eaten anytime.
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11 Aug

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
@LexElle Thank you for following me. You have replaced Clara Bow as the IT girl.
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10 Aug

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
.0001% donate 25% of political funds; 94% of wealth created last 2 yrs. went to wealthiest 1% mostly due to bank regulation. No connection.
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9 Aug

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
The polls have this election tied with 3% undecided, and most of them won't vote. This election may be decided by a Ohio voter coin flipping
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9 Aug

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
@TheFix You mean that guy who did those credit card commercials ran for Vice President?
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9 Aug

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
What do you think of the amount of money it takes, and the amount of time it takes raising it, to run for Congress? #FixHangout
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8 Aug

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: #10ThingsIGetAlot include bad celebrity arrest photos like #RandyTravis
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8 Aug

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes You need to title your next book, even if it is about foreign policy, "50 Shades of Asparagus". It would sell like mad.
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7 Aug

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
Mitt Romney's tax returns secret: He is Batman.
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7 Aug

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes I is in agreements with thats.
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7 Aug

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
@TheFix More voters would rather share a rhino with me than with Obama. #fixcaption
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6 Aug

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: #MarilynMonroeDeath and I did not even realize she was ill.
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1 Aug

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
I've already been boycotting Chick-Fil-A for years because of their lousy food.
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1 Aug

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
August is completing things due in July. #AugustIs
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1 Aug

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: Kinky: #ThingsThatLedToSex included watching #FindingNemo3D. Maybe that is what #FredWilliard was doing.
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1 Aug

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
"Hey, I paid no taxes" is a great boast in a bar, bad boast if running for office.
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31 Jul

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
@chaneyj Lots of witers make six figures. You hav to include two spaces for the cents.
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31 Jul

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
I am changing my name to Snoop Leon.
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31 Jul

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
What are you working on that hasn't yet been announced, yet you may provide some hints? #ELLEStella
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31 Jul

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
I lost track of time. Anyone know when the Olympics are supposed to start?
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30 Jul

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
Whoever designed the LA Metro where passengers run in front of tracks with trains going on opposite directions on same train wants disaster
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30 Jul

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
Mention Dog the Bounty Hunter once, and I get all these dog grooming followers.
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30 Jul

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
Universal is 100. Its grand-nephew Comcast has put Universal in a home and taken all its money.
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28 Jul

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
My "Reach for the Sky" will soon be available on http://amazon.com . Everyone should order one copy to keep in every room.
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27 Jul

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
In nonpartisan news, President Obama announced he will speak on international banking reforms while touring Sweden and the Cayman Islands.
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27 Jul

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
Happy Cousins Day. Run out and marry one today.
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27 Jul

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
All sheet cover ice in Greenland melted in a matter of days. Greenland finally may really be greenland.
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25 Jul

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
My "Our Maine Guy" is now available on http://amazon.com . Please do not order all at once and shut down their website.
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2:52 AM - 25 Jul 12 · Details
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24 Jul

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
To think that on this entire planet that only about 900,000 people may walk around and claim they beat me in sales.
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24 Jul

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
Wow, I cracked the top 900,000 in sales. Are there any goals left in my life?
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24 Jul

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
Why is the only response to my dating ad from someone named "Kate Gosselin" and why does she want me to sign a waiver first?
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24 Jul

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes Have you seen what they do to donuts before they are sent to market? You would never eat another donut.
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24 Jul

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
Major League Baseball has decided to change past records. Turns out the Cubs won 12 World Series.
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24 Jul

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
My "Trials of a 58 Year Old Virgin" is now available on http://amaon.com . Get a copy now. When they're gone, they'll print more..
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23 Jul

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
Penn State is required to digitally remove Joe Paterno from all photographs he's in.
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23 Jul

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
Dear press: Please refer to cases with the victims' names. Do not give accuseds publicity as that is why some commit their crimes.
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23 Jul

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
Wow, "ROTFL With Bob" needs more copies. They should be ready soon. Order copies now before they're gone for good. They make great confetti.
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22 Jul

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes Never underestimate the influence of the pickle lobby.
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22 Jul

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
"The Gospel According to the Fix" is the book that best explains modern politics. Shock your parents: Follow this gospel and start a cult.
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22 Jul

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
There should be a museum where they show all the torn down statues of discredited people such as Paterno, Lenin, Stalin, etc.
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22 Jul

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
Now trending: #SignsYouWereDrunk should have been when you thought inanimate objects were #20PeopleThinkArePretty
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22 Jul

Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit
@geneweingarten I always thought the correct phrase is "you is an idiot".
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