Tweets for Twits
Leon Tchaikovsky@SexiestLyingWit
@petridishes Romney remembers events upon his conception. Life and memory begins at conception. Many conservatives will tell you that.
@geneweingarten You aren't watching the right TV programs. There is this new comedy trio series. Rick Santorum is hilarious.
@petridishes Reagan was right about killer trees. Romney knows when trees are no longer the right height, they are taking over the planet.
@antAday86 I am sorry, I was just pulling your leg, which is better than amputating a toe. #savejohnstoe
@petridishes "Chris Christie sex tape"
@celebritology Tell Rashida Jones that Leon says hello and if you give her the $10 I owe her, I'll pay you back.
@celebritology I was happy just to be nominated. I shall cherish this win forever.
@celebritology Enjoys some Parks and Recreation while in LA.
@celebritology So, did you find an In and Out, and is that why you were Up All Night?
@HorrorNights @11 I guess "Suffer Little Children", as I believe it captures a theme of every maze from which good children may learn.
@geneweingarten Technically, you have a Santorum candidacy. Do you want his nomination or his election? You already do know I don't exist.
@celebritology In and Out means you eat that slop and spit it out. Seriously, try Samba at Citywalk. Excellent food, best lunch value..
@antAday86 My auto is never correct and its turbo never works. #savejohnstoe
@antAday86 What mother would name a son John's? That's how we get stuck with names like Johns Hopkins. #savejohnstoe
@HorrorNights Save John Stoe! (Who is John Stoe?) #savejohnstoe
@ReliableSource Putin is still wearing his wedding ring, but seems to be sitting closer and closer to Angelina Jolie.
@geneweingarten The day has come when the cat and the rat dine together. Still the cat will be less nervous.
@petridishes Yes, the calculations for neutrinos was in error. It was done by the same people who counted Florida ballots in 2000.
@petridishes You mean Country and Home Decor are not affiliated with Satan's enterprises. Ozzie Osborn is so disappointed.
@petridishes Satan has moved your link, I fear. God only knows why Satan did that.
@AshtonKutcher My bad, I was disrespectful to a man doing his best. Now do better and stop cheating on your wife.
@tanishai2m8u Thanks for the spam. You spammers are all I have on Earth. You complete me.
@Echoh42 Thank you for writing me and thousands others asking to legalize weed. Won't the weeds spoil lawns?
@petridishes As a person who really has dysgraphia, I have never confused the word "environmental" for "Islamic". And my wife may be a hat.
@geneweingarten @StonedBen BONG BONG BONG TOKE BONG BONG
@ritikaaaaa I vewed your film. All the best at raising awareness of tragic sanitation problems, which continue in this "modern" era.
@po_Virginiiay Congrats, you did suffer a W61.01 when bitten by a Press Secretary. Yet as a WOWT employee, you are disqualified.
@RickSantorum You have the right to disagree. Attacking someone's religious beliefs: It is their belief, not yours. That's what I believe
@SallyMullins1 OK, now I got it. Love someone who hurts you. They will learn from your love, and in their confusion, run as fast out.
@SallyMullins1 Anyone who hurts you should be hurt to show that hurting someone is wrong, even though that is intellectually inconsistent.
@SallyMullins1 I am going on a limb and guessing something is going on in your life. Go for mutual pleasure. Anyone hurting you should stop
@petridishes Thank you for defending bad jokes. As a leader of telling bad jokes, we need all the defense we can get. Take my joke, please.
@petridishes I thought I said John QUINCY Adams, who helped permit people to travel to Ohio. Turned out to have been an errror, but still...
The National Institute for Civil Discourse seeks more civility in discussions, but what do those rat bastards really know?
Leon Tchaikovsky
If a transsexual has a transvaginal ultrasound, would that be a tranny getting a tranny?
"Bully", a movie about being bullied, is being bullied by MPAA who insist this film meant for kids have an R rating so kids can't see it.
Looking forward to tomorrow, the traditional day when my stalkers ask to marry me.
Now trending: #TheThingIHateMost is #FreePancakes because I love paying top price for them.
If atoms shrink, we are like sand. All the sands of the universe fit into one small unit before the Big Bang, leading to a CBS series.
If #twitterdoesntexist then neither does this hashtag.
Now trending: #ThingsPeopleHaveToStopDoing namely watching the #Oscars
Did I ever mention the Academy Awards statue looks just like my uncle Vladimir?
I hope I win a Spirit Award for Best Taper of a Frayed Electric Wire That Otherwise Would Have Electrocuted Angelina Jolie
Wives rejecting sex with Virginia Republican legislators won't work. It will take gay prostitutes rejecting them sex.
"Elected to be the villain and certified to be the menace...Welcome 2 Detroit" #fixplaylist
"I'm standing on a corner in Winslow Arizona" looking for someone to register to vote. #fixplaylist
"Old Michigan seems like a young's man dream", as sung by Ron Paul. #fixplaylist
"By the Time I Get to Phoneix", she'll be laughing at my polling numbers. #fixplaylist
What was funny was I first heard someone put a bull in an office last night. A bullet is totally different.
SOMEONE FIRED A BULLET THROUGH ONE OF OUR WINDOWS? Those critics are getting more proactive.
If Abe Vigoda were still alive, he'd be 91 years old today. #HappyBirthdayAbeVigoda
If you are planning on using me to further your career in the future, I would advise against ignorning me in the present. You, too, Angelina
Now trending: #TextMsgsThatMakeYouHappy. Soon to be trending: #savejohnstoe
I just realized that Eli Manning and Bradford Manning are different people.
"I have the worse luck. Am writing a suicide note in the park, and a thief came by and grabbed it. Who steals another man's suicide note?"
After State Rep. Bob Morris stated Girl Scouts promotes homosexuality, sales of Girl Scout cookies doubled.
We may need new laws to prohibit driving while wearing Google glasses.
Now trending: #BackWhenIWasAKid I celebrated #NationalMargaritaDay every #AshWednesday which made me #GrewUpFast
"Serpent's Storm" is a well written fantastic book. I am glad to recommend it highly. @amber_benson
Now trending: #IUsedTo #RepalceBandNamesWithPancake until I realized that was lame.
The New York Philharmonic Pancake #ReplaceBandNamesWithPancake
The Flying Pancake Brothers #ReplaceBandNamesWithPancake
Alice Mork & Mindy, Three's Company #PornTVShows
The Incredible Hulk's Diff'rent Strokes #PornTVShows
B.J.s and the Bare #PornTVShows
Happy Ending Days #PornTVShows
Since I didn't buy it on Amazon, it won't take my review. Link here to my review of Serpent's Storm by @amber_benson: http://republicannationalcommittee.blogspot.com/2012/02/as-santorum-warns-satan-is-coming-read.html
Why do they put preservatives in fashnachts if they are meant to be eaten in one day?
An advantage to being Jewish is Jews can eat fashnachts tomorrow.
The Days and Nights of Molly Dodd and My Two Dads #PornTVShows
The I Love Lucy and Mary Tyler Moore Show #PornTVShows
Six Inches Under #PornTVShows
Calipornication #PornTVShows
Sixty Minutes in Cougar Town #PornTVShows
Leave It To Beaver #PornTVShows
Research determines driving while smoking pot increases the risk of crashing. Future research will test driving with eyes closed.
Lindsay Lohan to host "Saturday Night Live". Jewelers warn she may steal the show.
I have figured out the Republican plan: We will colonize the moon to place all those born due to ending contraception.
Centuries from now, historians will credit Alan Smithee as one of the greatest directors ever.
I love telling a spammer she didn't win my contest and she immediately stop following me. That's me, I speak to women, they leave me.
Now trending: #IfICouldWishForAnything it would be #HockeyDayInAmerica which really is #LiesPeopleAlwaysTell
The previous offer expires at 2:12 am Pacific time Feb. 19 and is not valid in the Nebraska, Cuba, and to NBC Universal employees.
First follower who ever had a W61.01 health insurance code who contacts me wins a signed copy of our of my scripts: http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/ezra-klein/post/parrot-injuries-and-other-tales-from-the-annals-of-medical-billing/2012/02/17/gIQAHUa0JR_blog.html?tid=sm_twitter_washingtonpost
We have learned, from actual news, that if a man is naked in Walmart, he will decide it most important to steal socks.
Waiter to Romney and Santorum "Party of two?" Romney replies "yes, we are last two members of the Republican Party."
James Buchanan lived with Rufus King in the White House. Rick Santorum would not have approved.
Last Penna President James Buchanan sought to divide us into North and South. Why do Penna politicians always seek to divide us?
Obama may be our most divisive President, but Obama seeks to unite. Santorum seeks to divide us and we should not unite behind dividing us.
Amber Benson
Chris Christie's veto stinks. It isn't right or fair.
My condolenses to fans and friends of Madonna, whose death by the hands of Lady Gaga is another Internet prank. #RIPMadonna
Who Is Harry Kellerman, and Why Is He Saying Terrible... #movietitlesthatdoubleasgoodthingstosaytolukeskywalkeraftertheempirestrikesback
How is #IfWeedWereLegal trending in rural Pennsylvania but not in LA?
posted by Tchaikovsky Sounds Funny at 12:36 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home