Google
Tchaikovsky Sounds Funny: 1000 Tweets, One Follower: Sounds About Right

Is this where I put in key words such as sex, lesbians, vampires, Christopher Lloyd and others things to which this blog do not pertain, but by putting them here, I may get hits from all the Christoper Lloyd lesbian vampire fans (and you know who you are)? This is the primarily humorous and occasionally rambling writings of Leon Tchaikovsky, humor writer. Enjoy.

Sunday, January 01, 2012

1000 Tweets, One Follower: Sounds About Right

Leon Tchaikovsky
Wow, my 1,000th tweet to 24 followers, where probably only one is real. Got to love this Internet age.
3 minutes agoFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
Maybe Kim Jung E-un is the electronic version of Kim Jung Un?
5 minutes agoFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
I am changing my name to Leon Etchaikovsky.
6 minutes agoFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
When did Kim Jung Un become Kim Jung Eun?
7 minutes agoFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
Maybe North Hollywood cars spontaneoulsy combust? Are they drummers for Spinal Tap?
11 minutes agoFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
Curling Nationals are Feb.11-18. Get your tickets now; you may regret it when you can't get a seat.
29 minutes agoFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
I am torn between a "My Bloody Valentine" and "Katiebird" theme for a birthday party.
49 minutes agoFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
Eagles can make it to playoffs if Giants and Cowboys lose, Charlie Sheen returns to sanity, and Bachmann wins Iowa Caucus.
1 hour agoFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
Lady Gaga and Michael Bloomberg seal new year with a kiss
1 hour agoFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
"What makes you think I have an affinity for you." That is not good to hear, is it, or am I missing something?
1 hour agoFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
Is it just me, or has it been too long since we've heard from Bristol Palin?
1 hour agoFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
Am I the only person whose "Who to follow" recommends both "SpeakerBoehner" and "SnoopDogg"?
1 hour agoFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
and Great to hear from you spammers. Sadly, you're the only contact I have with the outside world...
2 hours agoFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
Yeah! My favorite show "TBA" is on TV tonight.
2 hours agoFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
Now trending: : (and)
2 hours agoFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
@
The Republican National Committee phone service works great. Oh, wait, RCN is something different, isn't it?
2 hours agoFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
@
Ayep, we in Maine try to poison those Ptos all the time, and nothing seems to kill them.
2 hours agoFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
Top Penn State 2011 story: Joe Paterno takes all time division win record. That's their story and they're sticking to it.
2 hours agoFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
@
Congratulations on your creativity. A "pen is" mightier than a sword, and other phallic symbols.
2 hours agoFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
Remember, "for internal use and not for distribution" means "leak to press immediately".
2 hours agoFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
@
The great lost Mayan secret was the Mayan entrepreneur who sold underground 2013 calendars. It was all a PR scam.
2 hours agoFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
@
Remember, the Mayans predicted a reset, not the end. Maybe we will wake up, a la Woody Allen, in Paris in the 1920s.
3 hours agoFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
@
Oh, my, what resolutions did you make that they didn't last an hour? Hopefully":not killing a man in Reno" wasn't one of them.
3 hours agoFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
@
At least the seven lives of that cat won't have seven years bad luck for that kind of mirror break.
3 hours agoFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
Now trending:
3 hours agoFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
Out: 2011 (lasted only a year) In: 2012 (may last perhaps a day longer)
3 hours agoFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
Wow, I found this great new cure for hangovers. You have want to write this down. It's called: don't drink alcohol.
4 hours agoFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
Best gay film of 2011: Queen to Play Moneyball
23 hours agoFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
In: Out:
23 hours agoFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
Congratulations to Anthony Weiner on becoming a father. Next time, don't announce with photos that your equipment works.
23 hours agoFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
In: Grimm TV series. Out: Grim financial news.
23 hours agoFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
In: Pittsburgh Pirates. Out: Caribbean Pirates.
31 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
In: Pittsburgh steel and glass. Out: Californians stealing grass.
31 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
In: Ron Paul is from the Pittsburgh area. Out: Ron Paul is from Texas,
31 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
In: Pittsburgh Penquins. Out: Movies about penquins.
31 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
In: Pittsburgh style french fries in sandwiches. Out: Petite style French sandwiches.
31 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
In: Pittsburgh style shots in beer. Out: Prohibition specials about shots at those with beer.
31 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
Pittsburgh won't really be in until they start serving french fries in sandwiches and shots in beer inside the Beltway.
31 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
Out: "Can you hear me now?" In: "Can you tweet me back?"
31 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
Happy new year. I am still writing "2010" on my checks.
31 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
@
At least the two biggest 2011 Twitter events weren't related, i.e. Osama caused Beyonce's pregnancy.
31 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
Oh, wise buddha, why did you follow me and then drop me as a follower?
31 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
Now trending: :
30 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
Who would have thought the space race would be between China and Richard Branson?
30 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
A new island has formed in the Red Sea. Property sale listings are already posted on the Internet.
30 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
@
Weepiest moment in 2012 movies: When Ralph has to kill his best friend, the toxic algae in his pool.
30 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
@
"Toxic Algae": New horror film coming in 2012. "You'll never go wading in an unclean pool ever again."
30 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
Oh, and I am stuck in Nigeria. The government insists you send me money, or else they will let me out and return to your neighborhood.
30 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
I am an agent for whatever bank you use. Your account may have been hacked. Send me your account numbers and amounts in each. Kidding.
30 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
Are you serious about wait loss? Got you: this is fake spam. Send me your credit card number for more information. Kidding. Winning.
30 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
Kate Perry's new release: "I Kissed a Russell (And I Didn't Like It)"
30 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
Now trending: (you are among)
30 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
Remember, the Mayans predicted the world will reset, not end, Expect a large number of TV network show cancellations next year.
30 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
Some days I feel like dying, but I always then finish my stand-up routine.
30 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
@
Total new followers from you and all other sources: Zero. I want to thank every new follower for not following me.
30 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
@
@ back at you.
30 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
@
I once refused to buy a famous writer's typewriter because I felt he had murdered language.
30 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
When Kelly Clarkson tweeted "I love Ron Paul", why did we assume it was an endorsement? Maybe they're dating?
30 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
I got a cemetary plot for Xmas last year. I was told I got no gifts this year because I didn't use last year's gift.
30 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
How do we know "died peacefully in his sleep" really wasn't "spent hours clutching chest trying to crawl to telephone"?
30 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
Of course, when I say Santorum is not nuts, that doesn't include his comments on "thoughts", bestiality, and we're fighting the Crusades.
30 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
Two things Santorum has going for him: He really is a conservative. He is not nuts. The second thing puts him ahead of other conservatives.
30 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
@
Wait, you forgot Buddy Roemer.
30 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
The problem with a foolproof system is not that it can't be broken by a fool, but that it can be broken by an expert.
30 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
@
Newt's followers are fake. I don't follow Newt and I am real. Sounds about right.
30 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
It doesn't mean anything if you don't have a date for tomorrow night, right? Right?
30 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
If today is Friday, this can't be Samoa or Tokelau.
30 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
Good thing Richard Santorum goes by "Rick". Dick Santorum would be so wrong. Again, what were his parents thinking?
30 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
@
Wait, Santorum is also a person? What parents would ever name their child "Santorum"?
30 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
New trending: (among)
29 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
Why won't Mattel make a door in my image. I won't sue (probably).
29 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
@
"As President, I want to be American's Iron Lady. Or do a commercial for iron poor blood." -Michele Bachmann
29 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
Bachmann: "I want to win Iowa. Everyone wants to win Iowa. Oh, who am I kidding? I just hope I leave here without a parking ticket."
29 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
@
Maybe management doesn't want an employee to get an AK-47? What's this nation coming to?
29 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
@
Wow, seriously. I just got blocked access to your link, I understand the Times denying me, but never the Post.
29 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
@
I just voted about 30 times for you. (How do you think Bush won Florida?)
29 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
@
You want an AK-47 for Christmas? You'll shoot your eye out.
29 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
@
Wynonna Judd is marrying a cactus? Is that even legal?
29 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
"Come to think of it, Mitt Romney hasn't been looking well lately." -Hugo Chavez
29 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
Now trending:
29 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
Beatles fan alert: Who would have thought that with new albums coming out, Ringo's would have songs Ringo wrote and Paul would have covers.
29 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
@
I should be one of your "must avoid" tweeters.
29 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
@
There are lots of living dead running around NBC Universal. Especially in network programming.
29 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
I am deleted all my Lady Gaga and listening only to Kelly Clarkson.
29 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
Now trending: , . How come is not trending?
29 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
@
Obama to spend $1 billion on race. Presidential campaign spending is the key to stimuating the economy.
29 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
Thank you and happy working on 2012. After so much horror, one must get horri-fried. (The puns get worse as the year gets old)
29 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
No matter who gets nominated, I'll probably vote for Obama in November.
29 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
I am a vegan, except I will eat beef and pork.
29 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
Needs less cowbell.
29 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
@
Woah, for a minute there, I almost decided to endorse Michelle Bachmann.
29 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
My slogan: "Winning". Or, at least, go with the side that is winning.
29 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
@
I just threw out my Jets jersey and put on a Giants jersey.
29 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
Wow, I never noticed that Rick Santorum before, what a great candidate he is.
29 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
I never go to to Baskin and Robbins: there are too many choices.
29 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
After my dental work, I have to go hike the Appalachian Trial.
29 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
@
Oh, and in New Hampshire, we have a mountain shaped like a man...or, well...we did,
29 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
Scientists announce development of Superbee. Sadly, it was then killed by the Green Hornet.
29 DecFavoriteReplyDelete
»
Leon Tchaikovsky
@
Odd, New York Times begged me to cancel and leave them alone.

posted by Tchaikovsky Sounds Funny at 1:11 PM

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home

 
Google
Google
Google
Google
Listed on BlogShares