Homeless Veterans and The Wives Who Want to Kill Them

How come you only see homeless veterans begging on streets? Did all draft dodgers find housing?

I visited Seattle. Some like this you can’t make up: I am sitting on a bench in Pioneer Square when a woman sat next to me, turned to me and said “I’d like to put you in a body bog and throw you away like a dead animal.” What is sad is that is still the most romantic opening line I’ve ever received.

Give a person a fish and that person will eat for a day. Teach a person how to program a personal computer so that it automatically places daily online orders of home delivery of fish, and a person will eat for a lifetime.

I attended a lecture of a woman who discussed her husband’s suicide. Her attitude was she has no sadness. He was a man and all men deserve to die. We need to drive more men to suicide. I noticed the eyes of all the women in the audience turning to me. Suddenly, a woman sprung up, pointed at me, and yelled “you, you’re a man, or are you are a bull dyke dressed like a man.” I found myself saying words I never thought I would say. “Me, why I’m a bull dyke dressed like a man.” Order was restored and the lecture continued. Incidentally, you know the toughest part about pretending to be a lesbian is trying to convince lesbians that a certain body part is really a surgically implanted strap-on. Anyway, after two hours of the lecture, I figured out the mystery of what this woman’s husband killed himself: anything to get away from that voice.