Karl Rove Is NOT the Source of the Angelina Jolie Non-pregnancy Story

British intelligence continues to confirm that Angelina Jolie is not pregnant. There were some concerns when she was recently seen with a new child. Yet, analysis of satellite images of Ms. Jolie indicate that the child may have been adopted and not the result of her pregnancy, which, of course, she is not. Any further developments will be provided by Karl Rove in a secret briefing live on Fox News.

I saw a person print a bunch of stickers that read “and testicles”. I wondered what he was going to do with them. Finally, I saw. I was in a restaurant bathroom, where, underneath their sign “Employees must wash hands”, was one of his stickers.

Speaking of restaurants, I had an unusual experience. At a restaurant with tray service, I always leave a dollar tip for the bus person. Recently, the person at the register overcharged me a dollar. When I attempted to point this out, his ability to speak English immediately left and I was greeted by sputtering in an incoherent (and I believe a non-existent) language. Seeing that the person who worked the register also was the bus person, I decided not to leave my usual tip. What I found interesting was, the bus person, expecting the tip, suddenly regained his English speaking ability when he saw his usual tip was missing. Confronted by an irate employee (and aren’t we the customers), we did the first thing that came to mind, and started chanting the first civil rights slogan that came to mind: “Attica, Attica, Attica”. I have a feeling we won’t be eating there for awhile.

In taking a train from New York to Washington, someone entered the train in Penn Station and asked someone “Washington?”, to which the wise guy responded “No, this is New York.” The person started to leave the train. I tried to grab him and tell him that this is, indeed, the train to Washington. Yet, he didn’t believe me and stated he would look for a conductor. I guess I don’t have a trustworthy face. To which, I can only respond, “Attica, Attica, Attica!”