The Identity of Deep Throat Revealed (Oops, Too Late)

When Bob Woodward wrote, in advance (if you aren’t aware, many celebrity obituaries are written in advance, and it is not unusual to see an obituary written by a writer who predeceased the deceased) the obituary and Gene Weingarten proofread it, thus making Gene one of the few people who knew the identity of Deep Throat, I knew I had to do something. My personal suspicion had been that Deep Throat was Mark Felt. Bob Woodward had stated he would not reveal who Deep Throat was until after he died. So, when I wrote to Gene “Why do people keep asking me how my health is” and signed it “Mark Felt”, and Gene printed it with a laugh, I suspected I had confirmed, in a humorous way that only Washington insiders would get, one of politics’ great mysteries.

Of course, you readers wish I had revealed my theory who Deep Throat was in this blog. Sorry. In time, I will try and find other secrets to reveal, such as which police officer was on the grassy knoll, but no one cares about that…

As for all the political paranoid people who read this, let me also confirm that there used to be a communist under my bed. Fortunately, Aunt Natasha would eventually sober up and crawl out.