I Hear Tweet, Tweet Music
If I only had two billion dollars for every time I said something stupid...
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · 4m
Kat. K-a-t. Kat. #SpellingBee #SpellingBeeCompetition
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · 5m
Here is your punishment. Now just take the $2 billion and leave. #Clippers
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · 3h
Seriously? Please do not leave your truck parked on railroad tracks while you go ask directions. Now it is not going anywhere.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · 8h
How can CNN do a series on the Sixties? No one that was there remembers it.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 28
My condolences to friends and family of Lou Ferrigno, whose death was falsely reported earlier today. #louferrigno
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 28
For those of you hailing that Maya Angelou was a gun owner: you know, she also did some writing.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 27
You are more apt to be killed by a vending machine than by a shark. Especially if the shark attacks you with a vending machine.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 27
If the courts rule against unions soon, forget about the wealthy having most of the wealth. Worry about the wealthy getting even wealthier.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 26
Rep. Mike Fleck is not only the first gay Penna. legislator yet a rare unopposed incumbent to lose: Anti-gay Republican write-ins won,.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 26
Sen. John Eichelberger (R) says he knew Rep. Mike Fleck (R) is gay but that Fleck shouldn't have come out. Republicans don't like truths.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 26
If you believe the economic grows faster when the wealthy sit on their money, you probably will love the "trickle down" theory.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 26
How hard is it to understand that lower incomes have larger multiplier effects in spending money faster so economic development increases?
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 26
Remember to always clearly identify who is the secret CIA station chief when inviting them over for dinner.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 26
Sadly, recent news further stigmatizes those with intellectual disabilities, who are more apt to be victimized by those who don't understand
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 26
"Yahoo" running "What kind of men does a woman want?" along with story that women don't want to date sociopathic pre-multiple killers.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 26
No, those "Hollywood Welcomes Abortion Barbie" posters are not meant for you.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 26
I am having troubles finding a roofer whose ankle bracelet lets the roofer reach where I live.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 25
There is a 50 mile stretch of Yellowstone National Park in Utah where no one lives to form a jury. My friends insist on taking me there.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 25
Remember, if you drug and rape your wife against your will, you may get 20 years in prison. Correction, you may get no time in prison.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 24
The Redskins could change their name to something even more offensive, such as Senators.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 24
When told I am on IMDB, I asked what the side effects are and how long will it last.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 24
I live at that point that no one likes: too kinky for vanilla yet not kinky enough for the non-vanilla.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 23
There was a naked guy arrested at the White House, and for once it was not a former President.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 23
A politician is someone who supports harsher penalties for doing something the politician wants legalized.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 23
The fact the term most googled by Pennsylvanians is "back shaving" is not going to help their social status.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 23
I hate it every time my old high school science teacher tells me he wants to cook some meth. I tell him, first, you taught Physics...
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 23
If gay marriage is allowed in Utah, then may a man have a wife and a husband?
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 23
The Washington football team will change its name to one less offensive: the Duck Dynasty Honkies.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 22
I have come to realize that many Republicans flunked high school science.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 22
Police say alcohol involved in man having sex with a microwave. Who gives alcohol to a microwave?
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 22
Adam Carolla, you are correct. There is no Gay Mafia. It is really known as the Gay Cosa Nostra.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 21
Axl Rose has been deemed the "Greatest Vocalist Ever". Luciani Pavarotti came in 14th. #AxlRose
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 21
Anyone feel the Cubs retirement gift to Jeter was one where they quickly looked around in back for something to give him?
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 21
In Pennsylvania Governor's race, Kate McGinty should demand a recount. She was robbed.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 21
"It doesn't matter which side of the river I believe the baptism happened, since Jesus never existed." #WhatThePopeDidNotSay
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 21
I love the use of @hole. That only problem is Courtney Love keeps responding.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 21
Katy Perry will sing in my backyard for $500,000. That sounds reasonable.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 20
Remember, if you support requiring all voters to show ID, remember to bring your own ID to the polls, Governor.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 20
In Pa. 13th Congressional: It's a Boy (le)!
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 20
OK, so Hollywood made $300 million publicizing the story of a man who stole $200 million Guy should have gone into the film industry instead
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 20
That Darn That #ReplaceMovieTitlesWithThat
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 20
Unpatriotic racists should stop watching "Wheel of Fortune".
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 20
Well, Miguel Olivio got an earful.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 20
The Koch brothers learned after being fined $35 million for a broken pipe that killed tow was to blame government for all their woes,
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 20
"Do you know what snake that is?" "Sure, that's Larry."
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 19
"It's not that I didn't vote because I don't know who the candidates. I didn't vote because I know who the candidates are."
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 19
That Michael Jackson has really cut back on his personal appearances ever since he died.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 17
#Godzilla to be released in some countries as #Allahzilla
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 17
So, Rep. Bachman, do you now favor the legalization of marijuana?
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 17
I keep telling Michelle Bachman to wait until it's safe to drive.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 17
He was so dyslexic, instead of saying "Knock knock" he'd say "knock Knock."
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 16
Ct. Governor to veto bill banning chocolate milk in schools. So stop stashing away gallons of the stuff in your lockers, Ct. students.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 16
I wonder if atheists believe there is no Zilla either. #GODZILLA #Godzilla2014
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 16
Don't get your Judas Frigid Iscariot nighties twisted into a beehive. #CreativeCursing
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 16
Who keeps leaving me a shaker of salt?
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 16
What made you happy today? #yokoQandA
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 15
Who will lead the political struggle in favor of masculine looking female politicians?
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 15
"….and then they learned a fourth chord, and their fans abandoned them forever…"
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 15
Why are you shocked a company pays more on lobbying than it pays taxes? That's why it pays for lobbying.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 15
"She's so fickle, she put her profile on both OKComrade and http://LibertarianPassions.com ."
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 15
Not all men use the phrase "not all men".
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 15
The Ethics of Bribing Professors for a Higher Grade #WorstCollegeCourses
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 15
A Study of Mid-18th Century Novels, from June 8 through June 12, 1754, #WorstCollegeCourses
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 15
There is a dating site called Stache Passions for those with mustaches. Sadly, it was way more guys with staches than gals with staches.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 15
A strong front entering Friday night can make for a weak end on Saturday and Sunday.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 15
Dear Atwater community: At ain't water, do not drink it. That is oil, and not like how the Clampetts found it.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 14
Advice: You may want to share on social media you are doing LSD while on LSD. The boss might not be especially understanding.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 14
James Bond, the Man with the Golden Shower #NaughtyComicBooks
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 14
Aquaman and Water Sports #NaughtyComicBooks
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 14
Superman and the Manhood of Steel #NaughtyComicBooks
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 14
Roger Rabbit Vibrates #NaughtyComicBooks
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 13
Hey, does anyone remember when I put all those petitions to get John Conyers on the ballot?
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 13
Climate change is our way of getting bad at future generations for the ugly things they will say about us.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 13
If Hickory docks his dickory in the clock one more time, we're going to need a new clock #RuinANurseryRhyme
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 13
Hush, little baby, don't say a word. We're going to lawyer-up. #RuinANurseryRhyme
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 13
Twinkle, twinkle little star, Your tweaking is quite bizarre, #RuinANurseryRhyme
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 13
Mary, Mary quite contrary, now on Fox News gives commentary. #RuinANurseryRhyme
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 13
There was an old lady who lived in a shoe, and she still couldn't afford the mortgage payments. #RuinANurseryRhyme
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 13
Jack Sprat could eat no fat, so he lived longer than his fat-eating wife. #RuinANurseryRhyme
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 13
London Bridge is falling down, as are a third of bridges in the U.S. #RuinANurseryRhyme
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 13
Chelsea Handler is a modern non-political Hunter S, Thompson. #ChelesaHandler
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 13
What has Magic Johnson ever done? He's won more championships than Donald Sterling ever did, that's what.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 12
How much brain damage does a political operative have to insinuate a political opponent has brain damage?
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 12
The majority of people don't like Obamacare but 60% want to keep it. Admit it, America, you have no idea what you want.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 11
To those concerned that Columbia Bush does not speak well: Neither did George, and he got elected President.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 11
Jodi Ernst states she qualified to be U.S. Senator because she can castrate a hog. I didn't know there was much call for that in the Capitol
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 11
Happy MILF Day.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 11
If you believe Obamacare implants chips inside you, you probably also believe Saddam Hussein was behind the September 11 terrorize attacks.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 9
Note to self: Stop posing in a Redskins uniform in my advertisements.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 8
Drat. I guess I shouldn't get a "CNG #1 FAN" license plate while driving in Mexico.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 8
There is a "serial popper" in Houston. When in Houston, watch your step/
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 8
Only I can squirt orange juice over my glasses into my eye.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 8
Today's tip: When getting arrested, do not insist you are Justin Timberlake. Police a.) are that that stupid and b.) wouldn't care.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 7
Why is it the only Republican candidate in 2012 realistic on climate change is not considered a realistic candidate?
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 7
I said another Jon Huntsman run is a good idea, I did not say it is a viable one.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 6
Yogurt is New York's Official Snack Food. Pennsylvania's is a large pretzel, cheese steak, shoe fly pie, and french fries inside a sandwich.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 6
What's worse, that @MichaelShoemaker and @MikeSchur don't read your tweets, or that they have?
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 6
Taxi, I need a ride to Rivera Street in the Bronx. What? It's not in your GPs? Here, I'll show you the way.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 6
I am joining the boycott of the Beverly Hills Hotel. I pledge to continue never having stayed there.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 6
Prayer before government meetings is fine, Court says. Now, demand a Wicca prayer be among them and see what happens.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 6
Note: Waving the French flag during Cinco de Mayo does not always go over well.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 5
If the WHCD loses money again this year, they will make up the difference by increasing the tuition of a Journalism student. #WHCD
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 4
Does Happy Star Wars Day mean we are celebrating another Joan Rivers feud? #StarWarsDay
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 4
People are most unhappy in Illinois. Of course, that could just be the high number of Cubs fans.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 4
Who approved putting a sex shop behind a Bed, Bath, and Beyond called Here's Beyond?
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 4
I could not get a date to the Nerd Prom. I am pretending this means I am a Super Nerd!
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 4
I picked the winner for the Kentucky Derby with a special system: I liked the name.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 4
Journalists afraid to be judgmental of Boko Haram religion: You know, I think even they agree they are rapists and sex slavery dealers.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 3
I thought I bought organic oat, not organic cat.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 3
"The Baltimore Sun is ahead by one shot glass." #WHCD
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 3
"I think the name of the Washington Post White House Correspondent is Gene Weingarten." #WHCD
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 3
"Last year's WHCD lost over $50,000. I wonder if it can get a government bailout. Let's take a roll call vote." #WHCD
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 3
"New York Times. Washington Times. Same thing, right?" #WHCD
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 3
"Do we even need to open these bottles? Anyone know if any of the Senators drink alcohol?" #WHCD
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 3
"Is that blood on Chris Cillizza's shirt? Who did he punch?" #WHCD
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 3
Everyone at the WHCD must present ID, and to sit at Donald Trump's table, a birth certificate. #WHCD
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 3
Why is one lane to the WHCD blocked with a cone with Christie's photograph on it? #WHCD
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 3
"Chris Christie needs another table. No, not for more people. He ate the table." #WHCD
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 3
"Who placed George Clooney sitting next to Steve Wynn?" #WHCD
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 3
"When I asked to site at the Bush Table, I didn't mean a table of editorial writers." #WHCD
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 3
"I just hope Obama doesn't try to upstage Biden." #WHCD
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 3
'Oh, look, there's an actual White House Correspondent. Oh, sorry, it's someone outside begging for quarters." #WHCD
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 3
A hard person to spot at a White House Correspondents dinner is a White House Correspondent.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 2
People are 90% water, except those from states with fracking, who are only 85% water.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 2
"I am crazy, and my mother didn't need to have me tested."
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 1
Are we more surprised that a major Afgan torturer wound up lining in the US, or that he lives in a pink house?
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 1
"I love to torture people, yet wearing pink makes me feel so pretty."
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 1
Tours of Mexican drug cartel factories #BadVacationSpots
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 1
Now treading: Visiting #RobFord would be one of those #BadVacationSpots
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 1
The Binge Eaters Tour of Grade C Restaurants #BadVacationSpots
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 1
Tour of current bombing practice sites. #BadVacationSpots
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · May 1
"Why, yes, I do expect a different result if I keep doing the same thing. So what does that make me?"
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · Apr 28
"I can't possibly be a racist. I have a Black Hispanic girlfriend. See, right here, in this photo, with all the other Blacks cropped out."
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · Apr 28
They now have bird eating spiders in LA. The good news is when people see that, they never ever again take drugs.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · Apr 28
More people would rather see Sarah Palin (16%) run for President than see Rick Perry (14%) run for President.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · Apr 28
I first thought Donald Sterling was one of those outdated Mad Men characters. Turns out I was right.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · Apr 28
If no Blacks went to any Clippers game, I am sure the owner wouldn't mind.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · Apr 28
If you are told to crop all the Blacks out of your photos, you should question your relationship.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · Apr 27
Sometimes I enter a room and forget why I went there; other times I remember and then realize I am in the wrong house.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · Apr 27
A ghost writer is better able to truthfully make up facts.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · Apr 26
If you think 95% of divorces are women's fault, you're another Republican candidate who has not learned to keep quiet on women's issues.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · Apr 26
It would cost science $922,000 to make the Bionic Man. Yet it should still take Hollywood at least $100 million.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · Apr 25
"I am not a supporter of cockfighting…oh, and I am also against the kind where they use roosters."
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · Apr 25
Justin Bieber has been detained. No, he is not a terrorist, although his music is torturous.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · Apr 25
When the Ky. U.S. Senate race is debating legalized cockfighting, you just know things will go downhill from there.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · Apr 25
Actually celebrating a Lame Office Holiday #LameOfficeHolidays
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · Apr 25
New Water Bottle in the Water Cooler Day #LameOfficeHolidays
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · Apr 25
Boss's Mistresses Birthday #LameOfficeHolidays
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · Apr 25
Two Days Until/After Hump Day #LameOfficeHolidays
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · Apr 25
"You know, white farmers were happier back in the days before the government supplied them with water."
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · Apr 24
Wednesday #ThrowBackThursday
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · Apr 24
This is National Dog Bite Month. Is that for or against?
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · Apr 24
When did not paying rent and shooting at police make one a conservative hero? If so,foe years, there have been lots of heroes in cities.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · Apr 24
I am thinking of running for President, I hear there is a club of similar people. Where is this club located? Do they serve beer?
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · Apr 23
John Hinckley is really upset at himself today.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · Apr 23
Until they turn one of his works into a special effects action film, that William Shakespeare is just another hack writer.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · Apr 23
Happy birthday, Wrigley Field, and all those memories of your World Series Championships and your Loch Nest Monster sightings.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · Apr 23
In India, dummy candidates are run to confuse voters. In America, dummy candidates are elected and confuse everyone.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · Apr 23
Florida legislator arrested leaving Taco Bell. To be fair, his judgement was impaired: He was eating at Taco Bell.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · Apr 22
Seriously, I don't want Justin Bieber deported. Although I do sort of want his next recordings to be prison songs.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · Apr 21
One in four Americans do not believe the Earth revolves around the Sun. There you have it, the American voter.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · Apr 21
Remember,voters don't vote their economic interests, they vote on who doesn't hate America, as the TV tells them.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · Apr 21
Remember, voters do vote their economic interests, they vote on who doesn't hate America, as the TV tells them.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · Apr 21
Ds. also believe in patriotism, except we all know their leader is a Muslim socialist who flies the flag of that foreign nation Hawaii.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · Apr 21
In this era of the great wealth gap, who are the voters selecting the party of the wealthy, the Republicans? Rs. have money and patriotism.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · Apr 21
Stats. give Rs. 99% chance of continuing control of House. Chances of Obama programs getting through: only slightly better
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · Apr 21
The last time a Dem. President had a Supreme Court nominees approved by a Republican Senate was 1895. If Rs take Senate they may take the SC
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · Apr 20
Remember, Senator Blumenethal, you criticize train safety, we have trains that will take issue with that,
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · Apr 20
If you thought you saw a giant rabbit today, you are either a kid celebrating Easter or an adult too much celebrating 4/20,
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · Apr 20
"Great, I've been dead for two days, and now I got to push some giant rock."
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · Apr 19
Chelsea Clinton's baby already has a 74% positive rating.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · Apr 18
I've seen a lot of the great bands. The young can still see some of them, if they only knew who they are.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · Apr 18
What nice neighbors! They are making sure the arrested man's stuff is OK by carrying it out to their apartments.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · Apr 18
"Yes, son, that man is going to prison." "But, mommy, he sold the good stuff."
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · Apr 18
I tell you, this place has gone downhill since Angelina Jolie moved out.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · Apr 18
Anyone looking for an apartment to rent?
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · Apr 18
If you are on probation and yelling "you can't drug test me, I know my rights", you don't know your rights.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · Apr 18
The "it's must have been there when I moved in" argument doesn't work if it is sitting on your living room table.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · Apr 18
When is it time to get a new front door? After you refuse to let in your probation officer.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · Apr 18
For tonight's entertainment, we have the classic neighbor refusing to open the door for the probation officer argument.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · Apr 18
Of course, reality shows in Ireland, I hear, are fantastic and pay everyone union wages. Right? Just so long as they show @LadyGrew
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · Apr 18
Now that I have done a reality show, I may despise myself.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · Apr 18
My reality was I was on a reality show filmed a year ago and I forgot I was on it until someone said they saw it. Reality is too confusing.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · Apr 17
The new thing in TV is to kill a character and then show the character isn't dead. I loved this concept back when it was called soap opera.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · Apr 17
Congratulations to Chelsea Clinton, who is now pregnant with our future President.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · Apr 17
My reaction to Mickey Rooney's estate valued at $18,000? The guy was loaded, man.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · Apr 17
You do realize that had President Clinton's secret service agent shot Mr. Met to death, Hillary would never have been elected NY Senator.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · Apr 17
The Secret Service agent who threatened to shoot Mr. Met to death must have been a Phillies fan.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · Apr 17
Oh, now I understand. He had eight wives, but not at the same time.
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Leon Tchaikovsky @SexiestLyingWit · Apr 17
I wish a rival studio head would spread a rumor about me in hopes of deflating my new contract. Best rumor I get is I burn the fries.
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