Tweets the Night Before Christmas

LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

Robert Wagner to portray murder suspect on both "NCIS" and in Los Angeles District Attorney office.

25 minutes agoFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

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@TheFix I couldn't cover my mouth when I sneezed in public because my hands were too busy clippings my toenails.

32 minutes agoFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

The Congressional Deficit Panel also announced they are cancelling more NBA games.

21 hours agoFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

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@TheFix I hear Mitt Romney is going to DVR the game and then watch it tomorrow, backwards. #RebelRomney

21 hours agoFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

Able to pretend to enjoy being in the same room with Rick Perry, Michelle Bachman, and Rick Santorum. #RebelRomney

21 hours agoFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

Now trending: #WhatWomenWant (is) #ArticHome

21 hours agoFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

Actually met Ted Kennedy in person. #RebelRomney

21 hours agoFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

Hung out with a brainwashed father. #RebelRomney

21 hours agoFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

Only married one woman. #RebelRomney

21 hours agoFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

@TheFix Will the nod go to the last non-Mitt Romney standing? Rick Santorum, you have a chance!

21 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

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@geneweingarten I wonder if any writer ever both one a Pulitzer and pooped while tweeting? Anyone?

21 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

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@petridishes You want to guarantee an agreement? Six expressos, no bathrooms.

21 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

@petridishes This is my 3rd denial I'm running for President. Does that mean I am now a candidate? I am not Romney, so may I be frontrunner?

21 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

@Molly23 You were mentioned in "Video recommendation" in http://Washingtonpost.com: http://live.washingtonpost.com/web-hostess-1109.html

11 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

I hate being dyslexic. Instead of writing 11/11/11, I keep writing 11/11/11.

11 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

Now trending: #LadiesWeWantAnswers #sotellmewhy #ToddayIs11/11/11

11 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

You might have Palhinthinstra. Tell your employer you need two weeks paid vacation, its the only cure. #Palhinthinstra

11 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

I hate 11/11/11. I am still writing 10/10/10 on my checks.

11 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

@chelseahandler You are just going to have to choose between Jennifer Aniston and me.

11 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

@petridishes For 11-11-11, I am going to propose an 11% income, 11% sales, and 11% corporate tax. Oh, no, am I running for President anyway?

10 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

@RickPerry When you are elected President, I'll help you cut those two programs along with that third other one.

10 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

@PhilTorcivia Thanks for following me. When you get your third cat, please do not tape bacon onto it and post the photos. Stop this madness!

10 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

Now trending: #ChildrensBooksMadeMoreExciting (by) #JerrySandusky

9 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

In retrospect, whoever named banana ice cream with peanuts after Jerry Sandusky probably now regrets that.

9 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

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@celebritology Chelsea Handler splits with her boyfriend right when Jennifer Anniston declares her love for her? A bit coincidental, eh?

9 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

Camping out with coeds is better than going to class. #OccupyPaterno

9 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

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@EricaLScott I don't like sadists who use religion or position to abuse power over submissives or weaker people. #WeArePennState #HermanCain

9 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

@ZiggytheKat You may want the bacon, you may see the bacon, but you don't want to know what that tape is for.

8 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

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@TheFix I often find somone with 200% support is according to a base 1,000% support system.

8 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

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@petridishes Every sperm is a living being, and yet we do nothing to preserve the lives of billions every hour. #MississippiPolitics

8 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

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@EricaLScott Twitter is an alternate universe where eight birds can lift an entire whale.

8 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

I see the White House is trying to calm us before the alien attack tomorrow at 2 pm. Will covering this up help or hurt Obama's ratings?

8 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

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@petridishes Two brunettes with a plunger walk into a restaurant. Not certain what they want, but Cain ran out as fast as he could.

8 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

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@petridishes Don't eat the elderly. They're mutton. The young are venison.

8 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

Anyone else fear we will be invaded by space aliens during tomorrow's national emergency test?

7 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

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@petridishes I believe life legally begins when you have your first sip of alcohol.

7 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

In half of Temple Hospital gunshot wounds to testicles: able to save the testicle half the time. In case you always wondered.

7 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

@ZooeyDeschanel Wasn't I nice by not bugging you when I saw you at lunch? Right, huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Huh? Right? Huh? Huh? Huh? Right?

7 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

I wasn't paying attention, but tweet 666 was the one to @Whitney Cummings about the false rumor of a sex tape. Sign of the devil or what?

7 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

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@avjhely Who are you, why are you sending me this app, and will you steal my password to my minor league baseball card collection?

7 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

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@petridishes I see your God does not allow for double or multiple spacing on Twitter. Let's see your God do that on Facebook.

7 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

@petridishes Your God is not a loving God. There, I did that. Oh, yeah, I did it again. (This joke works if Twitter would not autocorrect)

7 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

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@WhitneyCummings Don't worry, I will not perpetuate that rumor of a sex tape between you and that Dean at Penn. Allen Gregory destroyed it.

7 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

Again, Lindsay is a celeb who can take jokes. Reminding people that dependencies are serious problems where people need help and treatment.

7 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

Due to prison overcrowding, anyone sharing a cell with Lindsay Lohan will be considered punished enough and immediately released.

7 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

People tell me to get myself out to here every day. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fucking,_Austria (Thanks to Gene Weingarten)

7 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

@yokoono #yokoQandA If we all improved our home towns, then will we have improved the world? Are actions local and results global?

6 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

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@RantsFromBoca What is the initiation fee to join OccupyBoca?

6 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

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@SarahKSilverman We killed all the green worms. You're welcome/ Your apples are now fine. You may die of cancer, but the apples are fine.

6 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

@ZiggytheKat Thank you for following me. I need to warn you: there are people out there who want to photograph you with bacon taped onto you

6 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

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@celebritology If Chaz Bono can drag the lawsuit out over four years, he wins!

4 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

@celebritology Or, Chaz Bono could wait five years and then sue the National Enquirer for claiming he will die in four years.

4 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

How can "Happy Halloween" be trending? How many procrastinators are there on Twitter?

4 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

@lindsaylohan @KimKardashian Twitter recommends you as "Who to follow". So, are you also unknown writers?

4 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

Why are we allowed only 140 charactesr? I bet 1% have most of all the other characters. #OccupyTwitter

4 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

Never has long term unemployment lasted these lengths. Poverty is growing. At least we have access to Fox News to entertain. #OccupyTwitter

4 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

We are the 99, as soon as I get 98 to join me. #OccupyTwitter

4 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

Join Occpy Twitter. We will sit here on Twitter until...wait, how will this work? #OccupyTwitter

4 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

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@ElizabethDrewOH This is why Cain gains in the polls; the focus is on him. Some conclude the scandal is not tied to qualifications.

4 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

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@SallyMullins1 If you need to page Conrad Murray, you may already be dead.

4 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

Did you see the Quarrymen film? If so, what were some of your thoughts while viewing it? #yokoQandA

4 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

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@geneweingarten First, what were you doing in the gutter? Second, what is the alternative? Put up signs "Lost $20. Claim by calling Gene"?

4 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

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@TheFix Twinkies at the NBC cafeteria may explain a lot. An exec once told me it was stupidity and drugs but now I think it is Twinkies.

4 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

Palhinthinstra Disease information is available here. Help spread the word. http://palhinthinstra.blogspot.com/ #Palhinthinstra

4 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

Honest. Now trending: #Hardest Thing to Do; Kim Kardashian

3 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

Followers, if you have symptoms of Pahlinthinstra, rest immediately and do not strain yourself. #Palhinthinstra

3 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

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@celebritology What, reality TV is not real? Next you'll tell me wrestling is not real.

3 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

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@MonicaHesse Thank you for your efforts on Palhinthinstra awareness. #Palhinthinstra

3 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

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@WhitneyCummings Surely you aren't saying you're half the "Two Broke Girls"?

3 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

Trending now on Twitter: @10thingsifindattractive and #Kim Kardasian. I don't want to know what the other nine are.

3 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

Harold Camping gives up predicting when the world will end. Is this a sign the near is near?

3 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

Help, I escaped Tron and am now stuck in this tweet.

3 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

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@MonicaHesse Sorry to hear you have palhinthinstra. Take care of that before it gets worse. Rest well for 2 weeks. #palhinthinstra

2 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

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@jimmyfallon I was told my seat could be used as a flotation device and nowhere on the plane could I find the swimming pool. #traveldisaster

2 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

Herman Cain may not have sexually harassed anyone, but he definitely second hand smoked them.

1 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

Who decided it is OK to allow Kim Kardashian to marry, but gays can't?

1 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

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@petridishes Hey, kids now want to grow up and smoke and look just like Mark Block.

1 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

Shorter University requires employees to sign a statement that they are not gay. Like you attract straights by calling yourself "Shorter".

1 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

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@celebritology @LadyGaga Is that a microphone or are you just glad to see me?

1 NovFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

@KimKardasian I knew you'd always come back to me.

31 OctFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

For losing a bet, I have to wear this Cowboys shirt to tailgating at Lincoln Financial Field.#famouslastwords

31 OctFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

Rosebud....no, wait, I think that's a tulip bud. #famouslastwords

31 OctFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

Guess what, my sitcom got picked up by NBC. #famouslastwords

31 OctFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

I am sorry, but I am writing you out of my will. #famouslastwords

31 OctFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

Of course I love you, Jane, I mean, Julie. #famouslastwords

31 OctFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

These sardines are safe. Sardines never spoil. #famouslastwords

31 OctFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

I'll move this branch. This wire is not live. #famouslastwords

31 OctFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

I see the Lord. Yo, God, I got some suggestions.... #famouslastwords

31 OctFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

Oh wow, oh wow, oh wow, on second thought, not so unusual. #famouslastwords

31 OctFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

What jackass sideswiped Bam Margera's Porsche? #irony

30 OctFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

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@DannyDeVito GOP stands for Growing Old Poor, the end result of many GOP members who believe wealth trickles down to them.

30 OctFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

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@WhitneyCummings By the way, when an 80 year old married an 18 year old, guess which one has more wealth?

30 OctFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

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@Molly23 sexyeskimosexyeskimosexyeskimosexyeskimosexyeskimosexyeskimosexyeskimosexyeskimosexyskimosexyeskimo

30 OctFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

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@WhitneyCummings My 80 year old uncle married an 18 year old. At least he waited until she was 18.

30 OctFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

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@HorrorNights Thank you for that passion, vision, and hard work. It all came together and is fantastic.

30 OctFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

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@WhitneyCummings Well, the cartoon you would have to....

30 OctFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

@EllenDeGeneres Don't worry, I refuse to believe those rumors that you're gay.

30 OctFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

@Marmaduke Oh, now I get the joke, the dog acts like a human. Ah, do you have a second joke?

30 OctFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

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@Vickilewis1 This is the cutest photo. I adopted a Jack Rusell. Well, actually, it was a Jack Daniels, but close enough, right?

30 OctFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

How can "Adolf Hitler" be trending? What, he has a new album out?

30 OctFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

@Jon2012girls @WhitneyCummings The next episode of "Whitney" has Whitney wearing a mustache, so maybe you are ahead of the trend.

28 OctFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

@Jon2012girls I fear Rick Santorum distrusts women with mustaches. You might be in trouble with him.

28 OctFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

@Jon2012girls So the Huntsman campaign is focusing on gaining the support of mustached women?

28 OctFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

On TV tonight: "It's the Great Pumpkin Latte, Charlie Brown".

28 OctFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

Occupy Wall Street uncertain on welcoming Angela Davis. What do they need some old fashioned college professor for?

28 OctFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

Snooki admits she doesn't know who Maya Angelou is, but she argues she never took South American history.

28 OctFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

New concerns over the Yaz drug: Instead of controlling birth, it turns you into Carl Yastrzemski.

28 OctFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

Prince Charles claims he's related to Dracula. I think that's a lame excuse to convince Camilla to let him give her a hickey.

28 OctFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

@EOOLthemovie Welcome back to following me. Good luck on exploring depression. You had me depressed there for awhile.

28 OctFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

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@WhitneyCummings Those who tweet while driving may find their windshield needs redesigning.

28 OctFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

@EOOLthemovie Thank you for following me for six minutes. I hope the experience wasn't too terrifying.

27 OctFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

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@HorrorNights Great to know. Carla Laemmle is still around. Of course, her agent has to tell people she's still 29.

27 OctFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

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@petridishes You're the Harold to Gene Weingarten's Maude, to Cat Stevens music? The young now ask "who is Harold, Maude, and Cat Stevens"?

27 OctFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

Coca Cola to issue cans for polar bears and climate change. Great, now Republicans will be forced to drink Pepsi.

27 OctFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

@Iraq How do you lose $6.6 billion and several years later find where you left it?

27 OctFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

This is getting too easy: Now trending #youknowiloveyouwhen (you) #TakeMeToMyMargaritaPlace

27 OctFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

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@HorrorNights Thank you. If you ever want me to lobby for more work for you, just let me know.

27 OctFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

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@petridishes Prepare to say these words: "That's OK, God. I found my laptop on my own."

27 OctFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

Halloween costume idea: Dress as Lindsay Lohan. That way, you don't have to show up at the Halloween party.

27 OctFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

@HorrorNights Trivia of the day: first person to speak in a horror film: Carla Laemmle. She is 102 years old and still appearing in movies.

27 OctFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

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@HorrorNights Of course, I also suggested to Universal they make use of the wasted space where they used to have the Wild West stunt show.

27 OctFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

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@HorrorNights True, you have House of Horrors. I was brainstorming night mazes for adults: Universal daytime for families, night visit sets.

27 OctFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

@Mycobra1965 Remember, you break the girls, you don't get to keep them.

27 OctFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

"Dumb and Dumber" sequel coming; "Beavis and Butthead" are back. What is next, a third term for George W. Bush?

27 OctFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

@JonStewart We decry the McRibb more because climate change will kill us in a generation, the McRibb will kill us this weekend.

27 OctFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

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@amber_benson I hope you enjoy the Hollywood Show. Thank you for going there.

27 OctFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

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@HorrorNights Has Universal ever considered mazes year round? They don't have to all be Halloween, but Universal is the master of horror.

27 OctFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

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@EricaLScott You don't have to love zombies, but you should respect them. After all, the public did elect them to the US Senate.

27 OctFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

What? Beavis and Butthead are back? All this time I had thought they had grown up and opened an Irish bar in South Philly.

27 OctFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

I think this "college" thing is a racket operated by loan companies.

26 OctFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

Ben Affleck and Matt Damon are making a movie about the life of Whitey Bulger. Hasn't Whitey been punished enough?

26 OctFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

Now trending: #WeHaveAllTried #StepsToSuriveAHorrorMovie, (namely by eating a) #McRib.

26 OctFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

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@petridishes I've had eighteen straight non-diet colas. I think that's about right. -Famous usual words of violent Bostonians

26 OctFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

Steven Tyler loses a tooth just as John Lennon's tooth goes on auction. Well, I know what I am getting Tyler for Christmas.

26 OctFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

Part of Lindsay Lohan's community service should be that she not pose for Playboy.

26 OctFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

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@petridishes You will have to pry away my (gun in Texas, 14 sodas in Boston) from my cold dead hands.

25 OctFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

I await seeing CEOs forming Occupy Harlem.

24 OctFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

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@petridishes I've had 18 straight apple martinis. Famous last words of my cousin in a biker bar.

24 OctFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

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@WhitneyCummings So, you are saying your show is going to be one big snow job?

24 OctFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

English is my second language. I have no first language. -Quote from numerous Texas Governors.

24 OctFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

Now trending: #IfYouOnlyKnew#WeStoppedTalkingBecaise (of) #LiesPeopleAlwayTell. Tell the truth and rid ourselves of these trending topics

24 OctFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

Penna. has a sales tax exemption for trout, which is just silly. When have you ever seen trout shopping?

24 OctFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

Colonel Gadaffi sadly dies just days before his promotion to General.

22 OctFavoriteReplyDelete

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LeonTchaikovskyLeon Tchaikovsky

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@geneweingarten Five people reached my website searching the terms "Gene Weingarten is hot".