Really Dumb People and Other Politicians

I have the greatest friends. They look out for me. They got me so drunk I do not remember a thing. They told me I borrowed $200 from them to get a tattoo and when they saw it they persuaded me to remove it so I borrowed $5,000 to get it removed, so that when I woke up I could not see any evidence of that tattoo anymore. They are the greatest, and I only owe them $5,200.

Is Obama to bowling what Dukakis was to a tank?

How dumb were those two guys who walked into a building, went to the teller, and asked the teller to hand over all the money…and it was a police station. Talk about one of the easiest arrests ever made. What did the robbers expect to get: doughnuts? That was even dumber than the new bartender at the FOP Lodge who probably did not realize that FOP stands for Fraternal Order of Police who announced if anyone there wanted to buy cocaine from him. Another easy arrest. Another favorite criminal of mine was the guy who obviously did not listen to Willie Horton, who explained he robbed banks because that is where the money is. This guy one evening broke into…the Dollar Store. What was his plan? To fence the stuff for 75 cents a piece?