Tchaikovsky Sounds Funny: Does Size Matter?: Male Enhancement Products and Airplane Food

Is this where I put in key words such as sex, lesbians, vampires, Christopher Lloyd and others things to which this blog do not pertain, but by putting them here, I may get hits from all the Christoper Lloyd lesbian vampire fans (and you know who you are)? This is the primarily humorous and occasionally rambling writings of Leon Tchaikovsky, humor writer. Enjoy.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Does Size Matter?: Male Enhancement Products and Airplane Food

Breaking “duh” news: the owner of a male enhancement products company has been convicted of fraud. Sorry, but the only product that actually works to enhance male’s privates is actually worn by women, and it’s called binocular glasses.

Have you ever looked at someone and seriously studied them and realized “out of a million sperm, this guy’s was the quickest”? Ever then wonder what he’d be like if the second place finisher had won instead?

I do not believe that gay marriage is destroying the institution of marriage. I have never heard a guy say to his pregnant girlfriend, “sorry, but I can’t marry you as long as gays can marry somewhere in this country. That has destroyed all meaning of marriage to me.” Although, having written this, I now expect some guy will try saying this excuse.

At the Phoenix airport, I saw this interesting message about a plane at a terminal. The message read the plane was “flight 3 to Chicago is cancelled. Meals for purchase are aboard the aircraft.” I asked even thought the plane was grounded if I could go aboard and purchase one of the meals. It seems the answer was “no”, although I don’t know why they continued running the message.

I met an ex-con who, I was told like me, is also named Leon. The other Leon introduced himself by stating “My name is Whitey. I hate the name “Leon”. Anyone say the name “Leon”, I’ll punch him.” To which I responded, “what a coincidence, my name is also Whitey.”


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