Tickle Me Brain Dead Cowboys

A group of physicians hired by the National Football League have concluded there is no evidence that concussions diminish brain activity. They would have gotten away with their conclusion if they hadn't added a footnote stating they also believe that cigarettes are healthy.

A shipment of drugs was found. The drugs were stashed inside Tickle Me Elmo dolls. Police were suspicious as the dolls were giggling uncontrollably even when not tickled.

As I was going through security, I saw a cowboy with his gun in a holster, smoking a cigar, and drinking a beer going through the line. I turned to him and comment “you don’t read the news much, do you?”