Speaker Ben Wonders If Gilligan Runs FEMA

Speaker Ben has been enjoying making new friends and discovering the 21st century. He was horrified to learn of the difficulties our emergency management programs face in getting assistance to people in need. He was glad to meet Dawn Wells, but was upset to later her how she was trapped on an island for years on an uncharted island, even though she stranded with a scientist and two skilled sailors who were unable to figure out how to fit a broken boat or signal for help. Dawn laughingly told Ben how she went to throw out the first baseball at an Altoona Curve game. Her first pitch went so wide it didn’t count. So she rolled the second throw to the catcher. Ben tried to throw a baseball, but found he isn’t big enough to even move a baseball.

Speaker Ben met Todd Bridges. Todd, when he was younger, was on such television shows as “Diff’rent Strokes” and “Facts of Life.” Ben was embarrassed because he thought the “Facts of Life” was a junior high health class films. Todd still gave Ben his approval.

Ben wonders how the judicial system has evolved since the 18th century. He sought the advice of Brian Knobs, who is from the Allentown. Brian explained that he will be a Judge on a television show entitled “Trailer Court Justice.” Ben expressed his sincere hopes that the trailers receive proper legal representation. Brian indicated he still likes Ben, anyway.

Speaking of justice, Ben was not certain which side of the law Hank Williams is on. Hank is the author of books on movie cowboys, such as “Crusaders of the Sagebush”, “Those Wide Open Spaces,” and “Hoppy”. Ben wonders if Hank has problems depositing checks on banks.

Ben was impressed that he got to meet Hercules. Ben recalls reading about Hercules when he was a boy. Samson Burke portrayed Hercules in the movies and later worked on the television program “Magnum PI.” Ben was just glad Samson did not crush him.

Ben was very pleased to meet Carl Moscarello. Carl was the sailor in a famous Life magazine photograph that was taken when World War II ended. Ben held the famous photograph with Carl. Ben had a little trouble holding the picture, so some unidentified stranger helped him hold the photo.

Ben wants people to know that these (will soone be) and other pictures are on the Internet. They may be found on Ben’s own web page: myspace.com/speaker ben. Ben is concerned about civil liberties in the 21st century and is concerned that so many women with web cameras have written to him on MySpace asking to be his friend. Ben raised some Constitutional points and wonders whether warrants were executed before the web cameras were installed