Acutal News That Makes No Sense

George W. Bush stated he is an epileptic reader. It is believed he meant to say he is an “eclectic” reader. I think he stated what he intended: when he reads, he goes into epileptic fits.

Kathleen Harris was the upset winner in Florida’s U.S. Senate Republican Primary. Finally, there are lots of Republicans who are beginning to question how accurately Florida votes are counted. Early analysis is she will trail in the polls and be the surprise winner when they count the votes in November.

Someone screamed at me “if you love terrorists, why don’t you marry one?” I see she’s met my ex-wife.

Paris Hilton was stopped by police while driving. Police said she was acting erratically and arrested her for driving while drunk. How could they tell from her erratic behavior that she was in fact drunk? She claims she was driving to get an In and Out burger. I guess she's the first anoerix L.A. celebrity to approach such a place, which made her behavior suspicious. Well, now that the public knows where Paris Hiton eats, there goes the stock value of In and Out.

The have made air bags for motorcycles. Once they invent enclosed motorcycles, they will work great.