Tchaikovsky Sounds Funny: Does Inside Food Get Contaminated When Outside Food is Brought Inside?

Is this where I put in key words such as sex, lesbians, vampires, Christopher Lloyd and others things to which this blog do not pertain, but by putting them here, I may get hits from all the Christoper Lloyd lesbian vampire fans (and you know who you are)? This is the primarily humorous and occasionally rambling writings of Leon Tchaikovsky, humor writer. Enjoy.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Does Inside Food Get Contaminated When Outside Food is Brought Inside?

I saw a store selling smoke damaged goods. Should I be upset to see the store has a food section? I see their meats are smoked, but smoked how? And what are those roasted nuts about, and why is there a kosher section?

I saw someone is writing a cash-in book to the book “Why Do Men Fall Asleep After Sex?” entitled “Why Won’t Women Stop Talking After Sex?” I presume it is not directed towards the female purchasing market. There actually are biological reasons why women talk more and men talk less, or, as some people who don’t understand the term “biological reasons” and instead prefer the term “defective merchandise”.

I received an Internet ad, from a guy selling a book on how to become a better bank robber. My advice: if you’re buying a book in response to Internet spam on how to become a better bank robber, you might consider whether you have some kind of problem that needs attention.

One thing I will never understand: I attended a reception at the Country Music Hall of Fame. They served food outside the building and inside the building. What I don’t understand is, and this is a true story: they wouldn’t let you bring food into the building. Does that make sense to anyone?

I recorded a record at Sun Records. I was told I sounded just like Elvis. Of course, they meant my voice sounded like it also died three decades ago.

Another totally true story that one could not make up: I was at the Wild Horse Saloon, which is a place where they show country and western videos and people line dance to the music. A guy with a Red Sox shirt came into the place and asked if they could change the station to the Red Sox-Yankees game. If you ever wanted to see the faces of people about to kill an outsider, you should have been there. I explained to the man: who would you do if someone came into a Boston bar in the middle of the Red Sox-Yankees game and asked to switch the station to the country music station? While you’re thinking about that, run for your lif


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