Tchaikovsky Sounds Funny: Speaker Ben Meets Shania Twang and Flies Into Outer Space

Is this where I put in key words such as sex, lesbians, vampires, Christopher Lloyd and others things to which this blog do not pertain, but by putting them here, I may get hits from all the Christoper Lloyd lesbian vampire fans (and you know who you are)? This is the primarily humorous and occasionally rambling writings of Leon Tchaikovsky, humor writer. Enjoy.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Speaker Ben Meets Shania Twang and Flies Into Outer Space

Speaker Ben was photographed this past month on various adventures. Ben got to meet “Minnie Pearl”. Sarah Opheilia Cannon created the character of Minnie Pearl who gained fame as a comic. Minnie taught Bob jokes like “Ben, you should keep your shades down. We neighbors could see you last night kissing your wife.” To which Ben would then reply, “The joke is on her. I wasn’t home last night.” Ben noticed that Minnie left the price tag on her hat and was quite taken aback at how upset she became when he snipped it off for her. When Sarah passed away in 1996, she asked that Minnie Pearl’s plaques not list a year of death, as she believed that while Saran Cannon had passed on, the spirit of Minnie Pearl would live on forever. Ben was glad to see that spirit live on.

He then met “Reba”. Reba stated that people confuse her for another woman named Reba McEntire. As Ben doesn’t know the other Reba, he was glad to meet this Reba. Ben is sorry poor Reba always gets confused for someone else. Ben explained how he gets confused for some guy named Russell Crowe constantly.

Ben was introduced to Shania Twang, who complained that people also confuse her for some other woman named Shania Twain. Ben is sorry to see that people in the 21st century have such difficulty remember who everyone is. Ben remembers that good old days when there were only 32,000 people in all of Philadelphia, and how he knew so many of them personally that he lost reelection to the state Assembly. He then decided that maybe there are benefits to not knowing everyone else well.

Speaker Ben got to spend time with a real Canadian Mounted Police officer. She held him for questioning. The uniform bothered Ben as he has a historic fear of red coats. Plus, he still wants to know why the officer insists Canada is a separate country from England if they still put the Queen of England on their currency. Ben hopes Canada someday also will gain its independence.

The Hubble Telescope provided the perfect ride for Speaker Ben. Ben was fascinated to learn that a telescope could photograph distant points of the universe. NASA recently announced that the telescope found a cluster of dark matter. Ben fears it was his coat it photographed.

Ben looks forward to future 21st century adventures. He hopes to learn more about the progress of American democracy, and how we no longer live in a monarchy where the son of a national executive leader would follow the footsteps of his father and also become the national executive leader.


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