Prostitute Politicians Getting Spanked During Cameron Diaz Assassination Plot

Tom Malin, a candidate for state legislature in Texas, admitted that he used to be a prostitute. He then added he used to sell Mary Kay cosmetics. Dude, you almost got away with it, but then you had to add that one killer admission.

Cameron Diaz was almost killed when a bird crashed into her car windshield. What I want to know is: which film critic hired the bird?

I think my uncle is getting a raw deal. He’s been hired to draw cartoons of Muhammad for an Austrian and Danish book denying the existence of the Holocaust.

Lt. Gov. Lucy Baxley stated “I spanked the Senate today.” She later denied the bootleg videos of her doing this would soon be available in porn stores.

U.S. Rep. Tom Tancredo, who has indicated he may run for President, recently blasted Catholics, Lutherans, Episcopalians, Methodists, Presbyterians, and Jews. Apparently he is aiming for the Mormon and atheist vote. Several months ago, Rep. Tancredo endorsed bombing a mosque. A Shiite mosque, the Golden Mosque, was hit with a bomb earlier today. Yes, Rep. Tancredo, I think that bombing a mosque will work just fine, judging by the only slightly massive protests that have resulted so far.

Creationists are updating their views. They say, over time, their ideas have evolved.