Tchaikovsky Sounds Funny: Watered Down Water Stories

Is this where I put in key words such as sex, lesbians, vampires, Christopher Lloyd and others things to which this blog do not pertain, but by putting them here, I may get hits from all the Christoper Lloyd lesbian vampire fans (and you know who you are)? This is the primarily humorous and occasionally rambling writings of Leon Tchaikovsky, humor writer. Enjoy.

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Watered Down Water Stories

I cannot understand women. Why do they get upset that we don’t want to ruin a perfectly good coaster by instead putting our drinks on the table?

Someone was going to put an indoor parachuting business in Citywalk. This never came to fruition. Of course not. If you want to parachute, you’re going to do so out of a plane, and not pay money just to jump a few feet. If you’re not going to want to parachute, you’re not going to pay to do so at Citywalk.

Did you ever check into a hotel room and say to yourself: Isn’t that nice? The hotel left a complimentary bottle of spring water. Then, after you drink the bottle, you find the sign in small print stating the bottle costs eight dollars. Which really upsets you, because there’s perfectly good tap water just ten feet away. So you then spend half a day of your vacation finding the water brand and size and label to exactly duplicate the bottle you drank so you can replace it to save eight dollars. Only, just as you are replacing the bottle, you notice the bottle you drank states, in small print “for hotel distribution only”. And the bottle you bought, of course, doesn’t have that lettering. So, you pour the water from the bottle you bought into the bottle you drank. As you’re doing that, you then realize you could have done that from the very beginning with the perfectly good tap water only ten feet away. You now what I mean by this, right? Oh, well, it’s just me then.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

You drink water? Sharks blow their noses in that stuff.

3:15 PM

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