And A Very Merry Clapton to You

As we entered the holiday season way before Halloween, let me now attempt to give holiday greetings to cover as many readers as possible: Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukah, Joyful Ramadan, Hare Krishna, Cheerful Confucius Guidance, Joyful Buddhist Guidance, Happy Festivus, Happy Satanic Guidance, May Mother Earth Sustain You, and, from my own perspective, Happy Enjoying that Eric Clapton is God.

I saw an advertisement for a new kind of birth control called a Neuder Ring. The ad was kind of creepy: it showed a ring around the women’s waist. Isn’t this what they used to be called chastity belts?

I ran into my close and personal friend Rick Santorum. Ever since he made his slip about having gay thoughts, I do find it disturbing how he smiles at me. But then, since he equates gay sex with bestiality, he may have only been smiling at the collie behind me.

Penn State is number three in the football ratings. In they hadn’t lost that one game, they’d be…well, they’d still be number three. But a strong number three.