Tchaikovsky Sounds Funny: Why Vampires Don't Attack in Sipowicz's Precinct

Is this where I put in key words such as sex, lesbians, vampires, Christopher Lloyd and others things to which this blog do not pertain, but by putting them here, I may get hits from all the Christoper Lloyd lesbian vampire fans (and you know who you are)? This is the primarily humorous and occasionally rambling writings of Leon Tchaikovsky, humor writer. Enjoy.

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Why Vampires Don't Attack in Sipowicz's Precinct

Tchaikovsky Sounds Funny

I recall when I first introduced myself to Amber Benson, who was on “Buffy and the Vampire Slayers”, I mentioned that I was a member of Viewers for Quality Television. As she was reaching for a stake to drive through my heart, assuming that our group was another one of the groups that was protesting her show, I reassured her that our group actually rated her show quite highly. While I personally was not familiar with the show, the Viewers for Quality Television was an excellent idea where viewers would rate shows based on their quality and would then fight to keep them on the air. Dorothy Swanson deserves great praise for her work in leading this group. We were the opposite of the critical groups, many of whom probably had never even watched the shows they condemned.

Now, if you really hate a show, or if a show offends you, then by all means speak up. Yet, we are quick to put down others rather than to praise what we like. If we praise the good, we hope to find more good.

I mention this because one of the shows Viewers for Quality Television stood up for was “NYPD Blue”, which ended its run yesterday. This was an excellent show that had former New York police officers advising the show so it could have a somewhat realistic approach to police life, minus the hours of monotony and with storylines exaggerated (sorry, but not that many murder investigations end with a confession within the same day of the murder). The show also allowed viewers to learn about characters, and when we found ourselves discovering that not only can a racist cop be human and have frailties but we are rooting for this person in his challenges in life, then we have grown as people, and television has grown as a medium. I want to thank Dennis Franz for his taking the time to personally thank those who supported the show, and I want to thank Mr. Franz and all the people at “NYPD Blue” for a job well done.

Of course, NYPD Blue and Buffy could never have crossed episodes. I can just hear Sipowicz remarking “you say one more time you were attacked by a vampire, I’m locking you up.”

In today’s news, it was reported that Scott Peterson had sex with two strangers in an airplane bathroom. First, how did three people ever fit into an airplane bathroom? Here is what should have happened at the airport security check: “Your bags are fine, Mr. Peterson, but we can’t let you through.”

I am not one who follows more crime stories, so I am not an expert on the Scott Peterson trial. I overheard a commentator state “you know, all the evidence is circumstantial.” I found that, whenever I overheard people talk about the Scott Peterson, all I needed to say was “you know, all the evidence is circumstantial”, and people would assume I actually knew something.

What I do believe the press should do is downplay the accused. When it turns out they are innocent, why complicate their lives with publicity? When it turns out they are guilty, why make them into celebrities? I believe the focus should be on the victims. The press should always have referred to it as the “murder of Laci Peterson trial”. There are some criminals who are enticed into crime by the notoriety. The press should see they don’t get it. Plus, I believe the attention should be placed on the victims, where it belongs. Don’t forget about the victims.

Although some criminals are screaming for help, even if they don’t yet realize it themselves. How about this quote in today’s newspaper, from a then 15 year old girl who was involved in a killing of a then 16 year old boy: “I am guilty, but I still don’t feel bad for any of it. I still enjoy my flashbacks. They give me comfort. Pleasure.” Just think, someday, the young woman will be someone’s blind date, employee, wife, mother, subject of a cable television movie special…


Anonymous Anonymous said...

If it is a crime to be a vampire, then I don't want to be right.

3:01 PM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

You're right.

9:49 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I agree.

6:09 AM


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