Tchaikovsky Sounds Funny: Join the Vampire Anti-Defamation League

Is this where I put in key words such as sex, lesbians, vampires, Christopher Lloyd and others things to which this blog do not pertain, but by putting them here, I may get hits from all the Christoper Lloyd lesbian vampire fans (and you know who you are)? This is the primarily humorous and occasionally rambling writings of Leon Tchaikovsky, humor writer. Enjoy.

Monday, February 28, 2005

Join the Vampire Anti-Defamation League

Tchaikovsky Sounds Funny

I notice this blog gains its most attention so far when we discuss Buffy and vampires. I made the observation that vampires are shown as really, poor fighters. On further reflection, I think it is cruel how television portrays all vampires as evil and weak characters. Just because people have some skin disease which makes it difficult to go out in sunlight, we shouldn’t be making fun of them. I believe it is time we created the Vampire Anti-Defamation League and demand that Hollywood better treat vampirism. Not all vampires are evil. Granted, Vlad Tepes Dracula wasn’t too cool putting people’s heads on poles, but don’t judge all vampires by that. Vampires need love, too. So, go out, and love a vampire today.

The other day, I overheard parents speaking to their son. It was “Saddam, come here” and “Saddam, put that down.” I have these words of advice: if you’ve named your son Saddam, it may be time to consider calling him by his middle name. Unless, of course, that middle name is Vlad Tepes Dracula.

Tom Ridge, who formerly headed Homeland Security, is now leading the Board of Directors of Home Depot. I don’t know if anyone told anyone at Home Depot this, but just because it has the word “home” in it does not mean that homeland security is anything like home depot.

A nuclear scientist passed away. While a 21 gun salute may not have been appropriate, I think the 21 atomic blasts were a bit too much.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

How can you defend vampires? Kill all vampires!

6:23 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Just say "No" to vampires.

6:24 AM

Blogger Tchaikovsky Sounds Funny said...

You do realize vampires are not real? Of course, people do suffer from the skin ailment that was blamed on vampirism, and they should not be demeaned for their suffering. Remember, in general, we do not have to worry about someone sucking our blood out, except for when Angelina Jolie lived in my building, but that was another matter. In fact, the more I think about it, we should show more respect to people like Angelina Jolie...lots and lots of fact, I hope she returns so we may show her how much we respect her...

7:27 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

How do you know vampires aren't real?

10:53 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Maybe they do exist, and this is all part of a plot to make you think they don't.

There, that ought to confuse them for awhile.

7:24 AM

Blogger Tchaikovsky Sounds Funny said...

I hear the White House believes foreign countries are hiding vampires, and he will begin invading countries until all the vampires are found, whether they exist or not.

2:26 PM

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