Tchaikovsky Sounds Funny: Fired Up and Ready to Eat a Fly

Is this where I put in key words such as sex, lesbians, vampires, Christopher Lloyd and others things to which this blog do not pertain, but by putting them here, I may get hits from all the Christoper Lloyd lesbian vampire fans (and you know who you are)? This is the primarily humorous and occasionally rambling writings of Leon Tchaikovsky, humor writer. Enjoy.

Friday, February 11, 2005

Fired Up and Ready to Eat a Fly

Tchaikovsky Sounds Funny

An employee can be fired for something said negatively about an employer on a blog, even if the company is not in any way identified. So, let me state, that I hope no one ever figures out that I work for a government office headed by some guy from Connecticut who pretends he’s an Texan, who mispronounces words, and, despite the reality that he has a high IQ, acts like the dumbest thing around. He surrounds himself with advisors who tell him what he wants to hear, and anyone who finds anything factual that disagrees with what they have already concluded is immediately fired. This is a horrible place to work.

Oh, and, incidentally, in case anyone ever does find out my true identity, just let me remind my employers that, although my current boss is excellent and an honorable person, I can mention some other bosses here I’ve worked for who promoted their girlfriends-who-are-not-their-wives to positions over me. Not, of course, that I ever remember such things. I’ve totally forgotten these things. Honest. I don’t think I can recall such things.

Not, of course, that any of that happened. And for those who are really slow, no, I do not work for the White House. Although I would love to have seen Laura Bush's reaction when Condoleeza Rice referred to President Bush as her husband. (I actually am a member of a very secret organization you’ve never heard about that is plotting to take over the White House—we’re called Democrats. I know you probably have never heard about us Democrats, but let me assure you, there are a few of us left. Maybe we are delusional, but maybe someday there may actually be a Democrat back as President. We’re not giving up.) The above is called comedic reference. It is not true. Honest. Except, for maybe the part about Secretary Rice believing she's married to Presidnet Bush. Seriously, do you think anyone would ever place our nation’s security in my hands, me, a failed Ivy League business student from Connecticut who belonged to a fraternity? People like me can never get anywhere in the Federal government. Really.

Does anyone realize that a legislator yesterday, in reaction to a proposal to eliminate the program to spray to reduce the number of flies, proposed having senior citizens take to the streets and eat flies? He even suggested arming each senior citizen with a spider.

See, I don’t have to make up jokes. I just report the facts, and people think it’s funny.


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