I Can't Even Make It As a Porn Star

Tchaikovsky Sounds Funny

If you ever see me in a Danish porn video, I can explain.

Now, those are words one probably doesn’t have to say too often. Yet, this is all due to the time I went on a tour for the television show, “Sex and the City”. A Danish film crew came along on the tour. They suddenly and abruptly left soon after the tour started. People who spoke with them came over laughing. It seems the Danish film crew had mistakenly thought this a sex tour, and not a tour for an HBO television show.

One woman, though, was quite upset. She explained she thought they were speaking in broken English. She had been asked “so, how often do you do sex and the city?” She had told them she did it once a week, every Sunday at 9 pm, and that it lasted for a half hour.

I believe President Bush when he denied Jose Canseco’s allegations that Bush was aware of steroid use when Bush was one of the owners of the Texas Rangers baseball team. We all know Bush was strictly a coke head.

I was once on a Los Angeles freeway where I made a mental note that the freeway is as bumpy as the Pennsylvania Turnpike. When I returned, I received a frantic call from my mother asking if I was alright. She was worried since she heard LA had just had an earthquake. It was then that I realized that the bumpiness of the freeway was actually the earthquake. So, for Easterners who wonder what an earthquake feels like, it feels just like driving on the Pennsylvania Turnpike.