Tchaikovsky Sounds Funny: Is It Wrong to Love Your Clothing Too Much, and More on "Infidelity"

Is this where I put in key words such as sex, lesbians, vampires, Christopher Lloyd and others things to which this blog do not pertain, but by putting them here, I may get hits from all the Christoper Lloyd lesbian vampire fans (and you know who you are)? This is the primarily humorous and occasionally rambling writings of Leon Tchaikovsky, humor writer. Enjoy.

Monday, March 21, 2005

Is It Wrong to Love Your Clothing Too Much, and More on "Infidelity"

Tchaikovsky Sounds Funny

My fake daughter’s movie “Infidelity” (a film by Francesca J. Lee) will be shown at approximately 6:48 pm on Friday, April 9 at the Gene Siskel Film Center which is located somewhere in Chicago. I believe if you find the address 164 North State Street, Chicago it should be right in front of you. I actually have no idea what the movie is about. I am a horrible fake father who has never seen his fake daughter’s movie. Of course, at this point, I have lost track of what I am writing about, but, as you see, that still doesn’t stop me from writing.

As an aside, the Lee name comes up quite a bit in my family. My great-great-great-great-great uncle, Ezra Lee, was the first person to ever sail in a submarine. He wasn’t the builder of the first submarine, that was David Bushnell, but when Bushnell finally needed someone to actually go into the submarine and see if it would work, or if the thing would sink and drown the person inside it, it was my relative Ezra Lee who was ordered to see if it worked. Fortunately for Ezra, it did. And Ezra taught us all a valuable lesson that has been passed down for many generations now: never ever volunteer again for anything.

I am also told the singer Brenda Lee almost became my aunt. Brenda Lee used to be on my grandmother’s radio show, and after Brenda Lee’s father died, my grandmother (so people tell me, and something about the story doesn’t seem right as Brenda Lee had living relatives) attempted to adopt her, but the adoption did not go through (she was then raised by her mother, so any attempt for adoption by a non-relative would have been difficult). So, Brenda Lee might have almost become my aunt. Now, how cool would it be to say I have an aunt who’s in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and the Country Music Hall of Fame, in addition to a great-great-great-great-great uncle who sailed the first submarine, and a fake daughter who has a film opening in Chicago?

To recap, of Brenda Lee, Ezra Lee, and Francesca Lee, only Ezra is an actual relative. This is for people keeping track of Lee genealogy (which, I have found, is quite a few people, as I get asked about the Lee relation every so often.) Incidentally, for Lee enthusiasts, my side of the Lee family appears to have no connection to the Robert E. Lee family. As an interesting side note, historians point out that two generations of Lees invaded Pennsylvania: Lee in Gettysburg and Lee’s father, Henry Lee, to squash the Whiskey Rebellion. I have discovered we Lee namesakes aren’t always greeted with open arms in Pennsylvania.

I am also not related to Lee Jeans. In fact, it is hard to be related to a pair of pants. Although, someday, maybe people will become more open, and laws will change, so people finally will be allowed to become legally related to items of clothing. I know many people who spend more time and money buying and providing shelter for their clothing than for the rest of their family. Someday the love for clothing will be recognized and accepted by society.

On a totally unrelated subject, a hair salon has opened near where I live. It is named Shag. Is this the best choice of names? I am worried they are going to get some disappointed British male customers visiting.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Forget the British customers, I'm not certain if I'd want to go to a place that would give me a shaggy haircut.

11:13 AM

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Is the Shaggy Dog a Disney film or a film about a really naughty British bowser?

5:29 AM


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