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Tchaikovsky Sounds Funny: Bondage, Spanking, and Other Critical Issues Facing Our School Systems

Is this where I put in key words such as sex, lesbians, vampires, Christopher Lloyd and others things to which this blog do not pertain, but by putting them here, I may get hits from all the Christoper Lloyd lesbian vampire fans (and you know who you are)? This is the primarily humorous and occasionally rambling writings of Leon Tchaikovsky, humor writer. Enjoy.

Friday, March 18, 2005

Bondage, Spanking, and Other Critical Issues Facing Our School Systems

Tchaikovsky Sounds Funny

I await Congress to begin asking baseball players “are you or have you ever been a member of the steroids users?” Ballplayers will be forced to produce the names of other players, and fellow travelers, who subscribed to steroid-ism.

A Texas legislator has proposed banning sexual suggestive cheerleading. In other words, I guess he wants to end all cheerleading. Maybe if the cheerleaders took steroids and bulked up, then they would look huge and gross and nothing they did would be considered sexually suggestive. There’s the solution: steroids were just being used for the wrong sport.

Meanwhile, Pierce College has rented its football field to be used in a bondage sex film. This would be proper, according to the Texas legislature, just so long as no cheerleaders are used. Financial experts note that this is the first time bondage will be used to pay school bonds: in fact tying up your funds in bonds will take on a new meaning.

The Pennsylvania State School Board has voted to prohibit teachers from spanking students to cause “pain and fear”. Teachers may, though, spank students if the students enjoy it. In which case, of course, it would then face a ban in Texas.

2 Comments:

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