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Tchaikovsky Sounds Funny: Do Christian Scientists Take Viagara?

Is this where I put in key words such as sex, lesbians, vampires, Christopher Lloyd and others things to which this blog do not pertain, but by putting them here, I may get hits from all the Christoper Lloyd lesbian vampire fans (and you know who you are)? This is the primarily humorous and occasionally rambling writings of Leon Tchaikovsky, humor writer. Enjoy.

Sunday, March 11, 2007

Do Christian Scientists Take Viagara?

God never opens a door without slamming our fingers onto a closing window.

I had great-uncles and great-aunts who were Christian Scientists. They lived well into the 90s without ever seeing a doctor. The explained to me that whenever they felt sick, they would lie down, mediate and breathe deeply, while concentrating on their prayers. These prayers consisted mainly of "Jesus, that hurts" and "God, take me now."

I’d name a child Me Who, if only to provide a lifetime of entertainment to the child when trying to phone calls or otherwise introduce himself. “Hello, it’s Me”, to which people would either say “no you’re not”, which would be followed up with “no, I’m me” which could be followed up with “me, too”, or which could be responded with “me, who?”, and Me Who could say “correct.” The possibilities are endless.

Today I got an email from someone who inherited a warehouse of discounted Viagara in Nigeria looking for someone willing to take out a second mortgage they offer at a low rate to help with the financing to get the Viagara out of the country. Anyone else think this sounds like a foolproof deal I should invest in?

1 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

The son would be Me, Jr. and when Me III is born, Me Jr, would be Me 2.

6:21 PM

 

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