Death is the First Day of Missing the Upcoming Baseball Season

Forget “today is the first day of the rest of your life.” Today is the last day of the good old days. It’s downhill from here.

When talking to yourself in public, it is good every so often to say something like “you’re breaking up” so people around you will think you’re talking on a cell phone.

I hate the expression “I hope you’ll be my last.” What, you’re already thinking about my death? What if you die first: I can’t date anymore. Or, are you planning something about my death?