Tchaikovsky Sounds Funny: Cannibal Cows and the Dogs They Adopt

Is this where I put in key words such as sex, lesbians, vampires, Christopher Lloyd and others things to which this blog do not pertain, but by putting them here, I may get hits from all the Christoper Lloyd lesbian vampire fans (and you know who you are)? This is the primarily humorous and occasionally rambling writings of Leon Tchaikovsky, humor writer. Enjoy.

Sunday, January 07, 2007

Cannibal Cows and the Dogs They Adopt

Important rule to always remember: Never hold a Farm Show at the same time as a gun show. Good eating and good showcasing do not go together.

One farmer told how he likes to feed his cattle hamburgers. He claims it turns them into cannibals and makes them meaner. I wonder if that can be packaged” 100% beef, from beef fed cattle.

Some of the food sold is advertised as “world famous”. What does that even mean? Is there a Taliban training camp somewhere with a soldier mentioning “you know, I could really go for some of that world famous Amish pork right about now.” Which brings up another point: if you’re not allowed for religious purpose to eat a food, can you eat it if it is made by another religion? Maybe these two aspects of religion cancel each other out?

I saw the movie “Snakes on a Plane” and I am totally surprised. Why do snakes appear in the coach section and in the cockpit but not in first class? I think the whole movie is an airline industry plot to get people to buy first class tickets. “First class: no snakes are ever allowed in first class.”

Do not go to the dog adoption booth and ask them “you don’t have to feed a dog, do you? They can live on what they catch—right?” When you see the stunned reaction on the dog adoption booth attendant, you can then add “”oh, you’ve never seen my house. There’s plenty of good eating to be caught where I live.” Then see if they let you adapt a dog.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Cannibalism aomong cows is what causes mad cow disease, which probably explains that your ancestors were cannibals.

6:42 AM


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